No seriously chill with this Meeks stuff...

So I'm sure everyone on the planet now has been witness to the mugshot heard 'round the world of 'notorious' pretty boy thug Jeremy Meeks. Along with all the comments from all kinds of women remarking about his modelesque looks and how shameful it is that he's a criminal (along with some probably NC-17 comments about what they'd like to do to him). And I'm also sure you've seen the accompanying posts about how sad and disappointed people are (gotta love the ones directed at black women...I got a whole lot of f-word filled sentences for that...but anyway) that they are saying all these things and going ga-ga over such a bad person. Such deep commentary on the state of the woman's psyche and how she could allow herself to think these things of a guy such as him.

BWAHHHHHHHHAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you serious? Are you really serious right now? Like I'm sure all of the syphilis filled silicone stacked dumb-diddy-diddy-dumb bubble headed barbies you guys drool over on a daily basis are model citizens. Like you're lusting over a lovely personality and good community service work. Man, get the FOH. Let's just be clear, lust and objectification have absolutely nothing to do at all with the personality. Guys prove that on a daily basis. And that's all that this is. Light-eyed objectification.

BUT AH-HA! The table has turned. It's uncomfortable to think that women can be just as filthy minded as men. Because we're supposed to be attracted to deeper things like honesty and good citizenship. Honestly, most of the comments I've seen have been followed up by or preceded with "damn shame". So these women know he's no good. Doesn't change the fact that most think he's fine. Why should it?

At the end of the day who the fuck cares? Why does it bother people so much that women find this man attractive? Like pretty only comes in good packages. Psh! We all know that about 95-98% or so (give or take) would have no (serious) dealings with this married thug in real life. (But the again I run with smart women....) So why all the vibe killing?? Make you uncomfortable? Thinking of all the objectionable things women may say about you behind your back (or not)? Don't like that? Hmmmmmm?

When the 2-5% of these dumb hoes raise money to get this man out of jail then you complain. If a modeling agency really does think they could profit from this outpouring of interest, by all means talk away, cause I'll be talking right with you. BUT until then, big hand claps to the ladies. Way to let those freak flags fly. Have fun. Objectify and fantasize away.

But I gotta say thank you Facebook for actually setting off a spark to help me write something again. Even if it's dumb as shit.


.....sigh.....I gotta stop cussing......

What you won't do for love...

As ladies we are always told in every self-help and relationship book ever published that we need to establish what our absolute relationship deal breakers are. In other words, out of our multi-page list of requirements for our potential partner, what are the ones we are absolutely not able to compromise on. After watching an episode of a series on my favorite YouTube channel, Black&Sexy.TV (go support), I began to wonder if guys are ever thinking about their absolute deal breakers.

Like I said, as women we are encouraged to come up with this list all the time. But I don't think I've ever overheard guys having that conversation. However, for guys I think taking time to think about this concept is equally important. Not only for the sake of exploring the things you ultimately want out of your relationship, but to see if the person you are currently with or considering spending the rest of your life fits  your requirements. I'm not talking shallow things like looks or can she cook. I'm talking having and raising children, money and finance topics, and general life wellness goals.

Too often I think guys assume that women want what they consider to be typical women things.
One example can be having children. I think many men assume that women want to be mothers. However there is a population of women who have no desire to be a mother. If having a family is a deal breaker for you, wouldn't it be important to know this woman you have fallen head over heels for and probably want to marry doesn't want children. I think many of these types of conversations never happen because people assume that the other wants what most "typical" women/men want. However some of these things can be major game changers and warrant honest discussions.

In general I think too many couples push forward onto the next phases of their relationships without having open conversations about what their expectations and desires are. I think both parties need to honestly put their expectations, hopes and dreams on the table and talk it out. See where you can meet in the middle on some topics. See where you just simply will not give up or compromise on. Sometimes what comes out of these conversations may reveal a deal breaker to you that you might not have even considered. Remember marriage is supposed to be till death. Are these things that you can live with or without?

What?  I see. Why??? I hate you! I'm free! It OK...

Breakups can truly suck. But just like there are stages of grief, there are stages of a breakup that many, if not all, of us go through. And after watching someone literally go through each of these stages almost a day at a time, I thought I'd share the stages with you all so you can recognize where you might be in this cycle and where you'll probably be headed next.

Stage 1: Shock/Disbelief

There are instances in a breakup where one party has no idea that this breakup is coming. When it does come they're left in a state of confusion and disbelief that the person they are with no longer wishes to be with them. Even if the breakup is mutual or has been seen coming, when it's actually finally happening it can still be a bit of a shock. Sort of a --Wow, it's actually over. This part can be like a punch in the stomach. All the air seems to have left your body. Many times it can be numbing and unreal. But typically this stage passes within a reasonable time period. It's not a long lasting Stage.




Stage 2: Reflection

As you start to come out of Stage 1, you start to think about some things and people tend to look back. Review instances where in hindsight they can see that the person they were with wasn't happy. They can see areas where they  could have done better. Situations that they could have handled differently. This is an important stage that many people either spend entirely too much time in (perpetually dwell in the shoulda/coulda/woulda's until they are just sick with regret) or not enough time in. Everyone should spend a little time in this phase because there are many lessons to learn in this phase. You can see not only where you could make improvements, but also what you may have been missing as well. You can asses your needs as well as what you currently have to offer another. It can ultimately help you in your next relationship by pointing out the positives as well as the negatives.



Stage 3: Sadness

You would think that after you've had some time to process what happened you'd be closer to acceptance. You'd be wrong. Many times after looking back you really start to see how bad things were or how much you weren't getting from the other person or you start missing the good times and you just get sad. Sad. Sad. And more sad. All the things the two of you used to do together are now gone and you start to have empty spots and times during your days and weekends. Activities that you used to enjoy now bring you sadness because they're just a constant reminder of your past relationship. You may cry a lot here. It's ok. You have to grieve the end of that time. But don't let yourself slip into a depression here. Be very careful because it can happen.Your support network is going to be key here. They have to let you cry and get it out, but they can't let you just flounder in your sadness. So don't be afraid to lean on your friends and family if you need them.



Stage 4: Anger

After all that crying and all that reflecting and all that shock, you get to a point where you just get angry. You start to think--well if he wanted to go be with other people why did he even bother with making this thing with us serious. Or -- if she was so unhappy why didn't she just say something, how am I supposed to know. And you get angry. Mad that they let things go on so long unchecked because there could have been a way to fix it. You get upset that the other didn't think enough of you or your commitment to think you'd be willing to try and work things out. Mad that they didn't even try to give the relationship a chance to try and improve. This is where the cursing and I hate them come in. It's fine. It's natural. It'll pass. (Unless the breakup is from a true wrong doing - in which case it'll be around for a good bit).





Stage 5: Euphoria

This is the stage where you start to realize all the things you can do now that you're not attached. All the friends you can see again. All the unbothered free time. You can kind of rejoin the world that so many people in couples tend to leave behind. You start to call people you haven't talked to in a while. Hang out after work without worrying about having to check in. Talk to people of the other (or same) sex and not worry that someone is going to misinterpret every hello, handshake and hug. And you start to feel free. Things are just great! There are so many things you can do now. It's a huge sense of just pure relief and happiness that you probably weren't expecting to feel. Now this may or may not be true happiness. So don't let this phase have you fooled. It is quite possible that you can cycle through phases 3 - 5 a bit before stage 6 comes.





Stage 6: Acceptance

Really once you come down from that high of feeling free, you do begin to accept the fact that things have ended. You realize that yes it'll be hard at times probably, but it won't be insurmountable. You can move on and there are things still out there in the world for you. This is the phase where you can probably truly begin a friendship with that ex if you want. Trying to do so before this can just make things weird because there are still so many emotions tumbling around in there. But this is the end of the cycle. You can move on and find ways to truly be happy.




So these are the stages as I see and have experienced them. Knowing where you may be in this cycle could help you move on or prepare for the next stage. Just know that if you are going through a breakup, things will get better. No matter how bad it may feel.

Part I: How to win a girl's heart...

So lately I've been reading a lot. And one time, unbeknownst to me, after reading several books, I found my self engrossed in none other than a romance novel. Now this is surprising for me because, though I write about relationships, I hate to watch romantic comedies, let alone read about anyone else's "wonderful" romance. (Bitter much? Yea, probably). But anyway... After the first, I read another, then another, then another. And what I've discovered is that they're basically revealing the same concepts about attraction and the art of falling for someone. Quite honestly, the concepts in these books are really guidelines about how to win a girl's heart and at the same time, what you should avoid doing if you don't want to get caught up.

Let's explore the first: How to win a girls heart (What women are attracted to).

1. Appearance:
Let's face it, women are drawn to pretty just like men are. However we have a broader spectrum of what we constitute as attractive. In most of these books the men are described as absolutely stunning. And why wouldn't they be - it's a romance novel - who wants to read about two mudducks getting it in...

Anyway....

Appearance isn't always in the face and body. I even read a book about a guy who had bad burn scars but the woman was still drawn to him. Often it's in the way you present yourself.  How you dress, how you groom yourself. So if you want to catch the eyes of the ladies, keep up a good maintenance routine on yourself. Find your best assets and highlight them.

2. Confidence:
Fellas, I can't stress enough the importance of being a confident man. Not cocky! But secure in who you are, what you do, where you're trying to go in life. And carry yourself in a way that displays that you know these things. That is sexy as hell.

3. Personality:
While appearance and confidence are key, the thing that ultimately draws in the female of choice in these books is personality. There are usually other men in these books with confidence and attractiveness, but they don't get the girl. Why? Because they're assholes. So don't be a jerk.

4. Security and Support:
Most of the books I've read involve some type of crime/rescue situation. But one thing I can say that women want is security. Not necessarily that you'll beat up every bad guy that comes around. We know you all aren't Batman. But what we want to know is that, no matter what happens, you have our backs. With all the chaos, and craziness that goes on in our lives, we just want to know that if we need to lean on you, you won't let us fall. Make us feel safe and you'll get everything.

5. Show your softer side:
Every man has a soft spot for something. Kids? Elderly? Puppies? Whatever it is, show it to the lady you're trying to attract. That embeds that kind and caring image into our minds. Showing your awareness to the needs of others helps women see how you'd be able to show awareness to our needs. Get it? Get it? ----Probably not----

So there you have it. The top 5 things a guy can learn from reading romance novels - Getting the girl. In Part II I will explore the top 5 things a guy can learn about not getting caught up.

Your girl's a bitch...

For ladies, they always say, look at how a man treats other people and you'll see his true nature. So depending on how rude he is to strangers, family, etc shows you his true nature beyond the dating mask he wears. Well today I'm passing along that advice to men.  Surely you all don't want to forever associate yourself with someone who is a terrible person. So it is time for you all to start looking at your girl's actions and see her true nature as well.

Is your girl a witch with a capital 'B'?

Women are a bit trickier to decipher.  Most women know that if we reveal too much of that demon dog side, we'll forever be branded with that name.  So those women who are truly 'female dogs' will do their best to cover it up. So instead it's revealed in smaller ways. We move in silence, subtleties, secrets, and innuendos. Our intentions and true feelings are shown in a quick flutter of the lashes, roll of the eye, side smiles, hugs, hand gestures, how she holds her head and laughs. So this is where you have to use your power of observation.  Because if you blink, you'll miss it.

So pay attention. Is she ALWAYS talking bad about strangers, friends, family over superficial things? Does she talk down to service workers? Never happy with any generous gesture, no matter how it comes (asked or donated)? Do her seemingly sincere words never match her facial expressions? Has she found ways to justify actions that you know just aren't right? Is she always following up a quick rude quip with the 'I'm just playing, you know I love you'? Learn your girl.  We all have a tell when we're being, I'll say - less than sincere. You just have to figure out what that is.  Then you have to decipher if she's just having a bad day, if she's just stuck up and conceited, lacks an overall moral compass or if she's truly a bitch.

So I'm sure somewhere the response is: why does this matter?  Really, right? Who cares?  Well you should. Because at some point, the more you become a bigger part of her life, the more her attention and bitchiness will be directed at you. I mean you can't very well assume that she won't treat you like trash when she treats EVERYONE like trash right? It's only a matter of time. Plus if you have witnessed her being super nice to this girl you know she absolutely hates, don't you think it's possible she's done something similar to you?

Of course not right? Cause she 'loves' you.....*rolls eyes, and smirks*

A change probably won't come...

Fellas, we all know that you are willing to put up with more ugly insides if a girl has pretty outsides. It is just what it is.  However, there are a lot of you that allow those pretty outsides to override all of your common sense and lead you into making terrible decisions that affect you (and eventually every girl you'll date after her) in the long run. I'm starting to see it more and more and I'm just so tired of watching good guys get ruined.  It's time to stop ignoring the obvious and get real. So I decided to start topic just for you. The first red flag I want to address....

If she annoys you now, she'll piss you off later

For some reason, you guys think that as a relationship progresses (through serious relationships or marriage) that the things that she did/does that causes friction or that you don't like while you're dating will some how magically disappear when you make a serious commitment to her. Like some how that ring or whatever will make your relationship suck less. Like it'll magically erase all the problems you had while you're dating. More times than not, those small things and annoyances become huge problems down the line.

You know how there's that saying that men will change for the person that they're willing to change for. Well women will change only if and when they feel like it. ONLY. If she doesn't feel like she's in the wrong, she won't change.  If she doesn't feel that her actions are detrimental to the development of the relationship, she won't change. If she doesn't feel that your feelings are important enough to her to change her ways (in a normal relationship give-and-take scenario), she won't change. If she doesn't feel like she contributes to the problems in the relationship, she won't change. And there's probably not a whole lot you can do about that.

Before you give your heart to a girl who may not be worthy of carrying it, really take some time to look at the things she does that bother you now. Look at the things she's not offering you now (emotionally, spiritually, physically). Look at what she values, how she treats other people, how she treats you. Look at her ambitions, her drive, her goals and ask yourself if this is something you can tolerate in the long run - no really think now----NO really think! If you decide to proceed with her, you're deciding to live with those things. Period. If you're not happy now, with things being the way they are, how do you expect to be happy later? Can you live with that? Should you have to live with that?

Dating for a change doesn't typically work. So the same relationship advice they give to women, I'll give to you: Never enter a relationship with the intent to change a person or believing (or hoping) things will get better. You have to take her as she is, just as she'll have to take you as you are.

Why she does what she does...

It's probably your fault...

What women see in the bad boy….

Why some good men fall...

One of many...

Telling your girl about her man...


So you have some information about your friend's man.  Maybe he's got another girl on the side.  Maybe he's talking bad about her in public.  Maybe you had a one time fling with him long before they got together.  Maybe you had a fling with him while they were together not knowing they were a  couple. Wether it's an opinion or information, you have something that you know about her man that she does not. What do you do?  Do you tell? Or do you keep your mouth shut?

It is entirely possible for you to decide not to get involved.  If things seem to be going good for her and her man, then why rock the boat. She seems happy. Saying anything could make you just seem like a hater. It could be taken in completely the wrong context and she could totally get mad at you for something that's not entirely your fault or your problem.  So while it may be important for you to be a good friend and be totally honest, saying anything to her might do more harm than good.

On the other hand, if information comes out later and it is discovered that you knew the entire time, you could still be in hot water.  If you do have some secret about her man, he could use that against you- blackmail. He could make your role in anything seem more deceptive and dirty than it actually was. She'll feel like you were lying to her.  She could think you were allowing her to be played for a fool.  Friends are supposed to look out for one another right? How could you do that to her?

In my opinion, the latter is worse than the former.  I would much rather be as up front and as honest with my friends as I need to be.  I refuse to have anything out there that could potentially be used against me.  And I most certainly do not want to be perceived as a liar by my good friends. If you were indeed my friends, then you would know that I would never say or do anything to intentionally hurt.  I would always have your best interest at heart and nothing I would say would be me being a hater.  And if I was being a hater, I'd tell you.  I've done it before.  I would hope my friend would know me better and that if I ever had information that I really needed to share with my friend that they would take it as it were intended.

So in the end, I say: Say something.  It's better to deal with the repercussions now than let something that didn't need to build up explode on you and your friendship later.

Interested Signal #2.....

To continue the discussion we started with the first post, we're going to talk about another HUGE way a woman shows that she's interested in a man.

Heard this one too many times...

Smart or dating faux pas...


So there has been some talk out there about wether or not it is appropriate for a man to pay for a first date by using a coupon.  Depending on who's talking about it you could get some extreme reactions.  Some people feel that it cheapens the date and that using one takes away from the whole wine and dine experience. Many times coupons restrict what you can order off a menu and no woman wants to feel like she's being told what she can or can't have. It could send signals that you are broke or cheap and that's a complete turn off to a girl. It could even potentially mean you're stingy and that has a tendency to reflect a lot of things about you as a person. Who knew one little coupon could send all these signals!

For me, I don't care if you pay with a coupon or not, as long as you pay. You shouldn't be making a big production out of paying anyway so why should I see how you've paid?  I don't believe I should see anything with regards to a bill when I'm out on a date with a guy.  I shouldn't see the bill.  I shouldn't see your card.  I shouldn't see the money you put in. I shouldn't see the tip you leave.  I just believe it should all be discreetly handled, as much as possible.  Therefore there shouldn't be an instance where I see the coupon.  Unless you make a big deal about it, but then, why would you do that?  I don't think you have to lie or be sneaky about it either.  And let me just say too that I think any man that makes a big deal about paying, how much he paid, or any thing of the sort is very un-gentelman like.

Tacky *rolls my eyes*.

I'm all about a good discount.  There are so many ways to get one these days and it's so easy you'd be dumb not to take advantage of it.  I don't care if you got a $20 dinner for 2 coupon from Living Social.  All I hear is... 'that means is I can go to BLT Steak?!?' In these times, doing more with less is a great thing.  Plus that means you'll have more money to do other things with later on that night or even for the next date. It's just being fiscally responsible.

Ultimately, I think how you've treated your date during the entire evening means more than how you've paid for the date.  The amount of money you spend has no correlation to your ability to wine and dine and woo a woman.  If you've got enough swag you can wine and dine your date at a burger bar for $2.99.  I seriously doubt any good woman will be so turned off by a little coupon that she tosses out all of the great things and connection you've made over the time you've spent out.  If she does - red flag.  She's not the one you want to spend time with anyway.

(Oh but please understand that while it may be ok....you probably will get talked about and laughed at a bit by your girl and her girls.  Not that we don't like you or that it's bad, but it'll be something that will get picked on.  Just thought you should know.)

Men ain't s#it...you said it...

You know there are several conversations I wish we'd stop having.  Are men able to be monogamous? Do all men cheat and why? Can men be trusted? Why can't men commit. Blah, blah, blah, blah-blah. Let's just stop.

Do you know how many men call into these radio shows to basically say that it's within the male primal instinct to go out and be with as many women as he can?  That the bible has shown men being with several women at a time (don't think the fact that the good book has been interpreted by men over the ages has anything to do with that huh? - you don't see everybody turning to Leviticus in their well worn Queen Mary's version of the bible..... I'm just saying). That guys are only motivated by a few things: girls, sex and money. That women have to dumb it down, lower standards in order to be with them. For every person that calls in to dispute the idea that men are just sorry, there are at least 2 men that call in and support the statement.

Why guys? Why do you have such low standards for yourself?  Limiting your values to this supposed raging libidos.  Not believing that you are a man worthy of having one good woman treat you with the respect and the admiration a king deserves.  Feeding into the stereotype instead of actively trying to change it. Why do you allow yourselves to be defined in such demeaning and limiting ways? Why do you settle for such shallow standards?

It's no longer funny.

It's not a joke.

It's just sad.

Why? Because many of you are actually beginning to not only believe the bullshit, you're so happy playing along with these ideas that you are perpetuating them to such a degree that the young men coming up have no other standard to live by. It's bad enough this idea is a primary theme in our media.  There are so many absentee fathers out there, that the kids can't look up to them. There are fewer and fewer male teachers in the classrooms that they can identify with. Where are they supposed to see another side of life?

And instead of always harping on the fact that women only want to date doctors and ballers, why not try to excel at your current job? Why not push for that promotion? Be the best you can be at what you do. Elevate yourself to a higher ground. Why always tell the world to lower their expectations?

Until you begin to set higher standards for yourself, you cannot expect anyone else (especially women) to have any other than the worst/lowest expectations for you.

So you say you have a lot of homegirls?  

Do you always have girls coming by your desk at work? Hug every girl you pass in the hallway? Constantly texting your 'little sister'?  You've always gotten along with women better than men? You grew up around women and it just feels natural to always be around them? I can dig that. But I have to be honest. There are so many things a guy can do to turn a good girl off.  One of those many things is constantly have a ton of women around.

You're a just a ladies' man right?  What's so wrong with that? Now the initial reaction would be: Is this girl so insecure that she has issues with you having female friends?  The answer: No.  While there are girls out there that do have that problem (and believe me they'll make that problem known quick, fast and in a hurry), the girls I am talking about are not in that category.  So let's rundown a few reasons why having a ton of women around could prevent you from finding that 'one'.

First, you know how guys say they don't want to 'wife' a girl who is a tramp?  Well, girls don't want to 'husband' a guy who is a flirt.  And let's be real, many of you guys who have all these girls around you are indeed flirts. Some of you probably aren't even aware that you are flirting. And I understand that.  But being flirtatious with every woman you encounter can chip away at even the most secure woman's armor.  Minds can wander and ladies think: If he does this when I'm here, I can only imagine what he does when I'm not. Remember, society has pretty much engrained in most women's minds that you guys are horn dogs that are out there trying to get at any piece of cute available booty that presents itself to you.  And while many woman choose not to believe all men are dogs, that possibility still lurks in the recesses of our minds.

Second, if you're constantly giving all these women this kind of attention, how is a girl who is interested in you supposed to know that you're interested in her? How is she different from any of the other girls you are constantly seen with? She can't figure out if you're single or attached to one of these women.  She can't figure out if you'd even be interested in her any more than you are these other girls. If she can't figure some of these things out, you are pretty much guaranteeing that this good girl will never truly approach you or let her interest be known.

Third, that's just entirely too much competition.  Please understand that the ratio of men to women out there is 143.4 million women to 138.1 million men.  We already gotta compete with sports, your job, your friends, your mother, and now this never ending stream of thirsty chicas? That usually comes with the potential for a lot of unnecessary drama. No thank you.

Unfortunately we live in a society where perception is all that matters.  And wether or not you're just an honest to goodness good guy, if you're always hanging out with a bunch of women you can be sending the signal that you're a man whore (or batting for the other team).  That ladies man thing may score you major points with the fellas, but it totally downgrades your stock amongst the female traders.

Just thought you should know.

A guy's guide to avoiding social faux pas...

Fellas, fellas, fellas.  Gather round.  We need to have a discussion.  We must talk about what is and is not appropriate behavior when you first meet a woman. There are some things you should and absolutely SHOULD NOT do. Think of these as general guidelines you can use to help you establish appropriate social boundaries.  If you are currently doing any of the following don'ts...you must stop immediately!

DO:
Greet the young lady with a handshake or, if the opening is there and it seems appropriate, a hello/nice to meet you hug.

DON'T:
Get fresh. Keep the hug appropriate.  It is not an opening to get a little poke, a squeeze, a feel.  It should not be weirdly lengthy. No rubbing of the back. Don't be a horn-dog. Same goes for the handshake.  When it's over, let go.  No rubbing your thumb against the back of her hand or taking your middle finger and running it down the palm of her had as you pull away (-_-) 


I mean really.


DON'T:
Stick your hands in the girls hair all the way to her scalp.  She is not a puppy.


DON'T:
Point out grey hairs.  I don't care if it is supposed to be a compliment.


DON'T:
Squeeze her thigh and say 'oh I like that'.  I really shouldn't have to tell you that.

DO:
Make an effort to remember her name.  I'm not good with names at all. There is no harm in having her repeat it.  Sometimes, things get crazy, it's hard to hear or you've just had 1 too many drinks and it may have slipped your mind. 

DON'T:
Call her baby, baby girl, sweetheart, sweetie, boo or any other random 'term of endearment' or by some other abbreviated form of her name.  You never know what she may or may not like.

DO:
Ask appropriate conversation starter questions.  Things like "Where are you from?", "What do you do for a living?", "Have you ever seen Flashdance?".  I mean, really anything that could generate more than a 1 word answer, and hopefully spark up a conversation.

If you have asked her all of these great opened ended questions, that would actually require more than a 1 word answer and all you get back from her are 1 word answers...

Move it along.

If she's not making eye contact, not trying to help extend the conversation either with her answers or follow up questions, she's not interested man.

DON'T:
Ask her why she's single.

That honestly can go for any one of any sex and any age. What kind of answer are you expecting?  What? Am I supposed to say...."oh well I stabbed my last boyfriend and the courts say I can't be within 100 yards of a single man that favors him".  Like... how are we supposed to answer that question?!?

And if she does say that she's single, I don't think your follow up question should be "You like men right?"

Sigh.

While I can't knock you for trying to be certain, especially these days, there has to be a better time and a more tactful way of asking that question.

DON'T:
Get caught looking at her goods.  Come on, man.  Watch those eyes. We can feel you looking at us. You're stare can go from endearing to just totally off-putting really quickly.  I'm not telling you not to look.  That'd be totally pointless.  Just don't get caught doing it.

DO:
Feel free to give appropriate compliments.  You can say that she's pretty, or you can compliment her style of dress, or the way she walks, but it has to be done tastefully.  Most girls really do like a compliment or two.

DON'T:
Over do the compliments.  One is nice.  Two can be seen a sweet.  Three may even make you seem like you're really into her.  But beyond that you start to sound insincere, pushy and like you're fishing for a compliment back.  If the girl says 'thank you' or 'oh, that's sweet', just leave it at that.  Don't keep harping on it.

DON'T:
Be creepy! Some of you fellas can say the word 'beautiful' and make a girl feel like she's just been stripped searched by the TSA.

And while I'm on it...

DON'T:
Be a creeper.  While it is OK to talk and socialize with more than one person at a part or a get-together (depending on its size), you don't want to be the guy that has honestly 'hollered' at every girl in the place, outside in the line into the place, in the parking lot next to the place....

Hopefully these guidelines will help clear up any confusion or answer some deeply held questions you may have had.  As the world turns, I will continue to bring forth more tips to help you in your socializing adventures.

Until next time fellas.  Meeting adjourned.

So I just got finished watching the 'world premiere' of Brandy and Monica's video "It all belongs to me" and it got me thinking...

Why buy the cow?