An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I Don't Understand

3:49 PM |

...why people choose to walk or jog in the street when there is a perfectly good, level, traffic free sidewalk next to them.

...why people wait until they get all the way down to the end of the merge lane before even attempting to get over.

...what the point of mass hysteria is.

...why they build shopping centers with 20 stores, a Wal-Mart and one entrance.

...what happened to common sense.

...why people don't understand that if they remove their foot off the gas the car will slow down. There's no need to continue to hit the brakes.

...why I have to deal with traffic at 10 am. Why are there so many people on the road? You can't all work from home, be on vacation, work the night shift, be unemployed or stay at home parents?

...what's up with old people and flowers? Flowered couches, flowered bed sheets, flowered dishes....

That is all for right now.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Bills, Bills, Bills

9:35 PM |

Perhaps I'll feel better once it's off my chest....

So fam, let's be honest, I'm not the best person when it comes to paying things on time. Not because I choose not to, but because I honestly don't have it. I know. It's bad. Messes up my credit and what not. I'm aware, but like everyone else, I'm doing my best. Not to say you won't get paid, just may not be on time. So with that out there I can say that yes, I do in fact get those dreaded phone calls from time to time. Typically I just ignore cause hell, I don't have it, calling won't make me have it any faster and the person on the other end doesn't REALLY care why I don't have it so what's the point of explaining.

I say that to say this. One particular company called me the other day to let me know that my payment was 3 days late. Now that's basically a Friday to Monday. Payment was due Friday, before I even left work on Monday they had called me like 4 times. Ok, let's just be honest...any of us who have missed a payment or paid items late knows that 3 days ain't late. 7 days..perhaps...14 yea go ahead and call me...but 3?!? Really 3?? I damn near laughed at him.

But this one I answered the call because I know because of my circumstances when I'll be able to pay, so I went ahead and set up a payment online for what will be the total amount due at that point..late fees, next payment and all. I let the caller know that and he said ok and proceeded to read through his script and let me know that basically the phone calls will continue until it's paid. And I said away. I mean, I've already set up my payment. I can tell you everytime each time you call the same thing. And you can make your little note on the account. Why can't your system have something that can re-enter me into that autodial crap you got going on overthere in the event my next payment is 3 days late. I've had someone do that before. I let them know when the payment was scheduled and they said ok and temporarly removed me fromt the call list and let me know that if the payment was not submitted when I promised it the calls would start again. That to me makes sense. What is calling me from now until I pay going to do? I'll tell you...not a damn thing. It's not going to get you paid any faster.

Can't pull dollars out of my ass...if I could I'd be one rich b!$@#.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Random Thought

10:38 PM |

Thursday, April 16, 2009

They Reminisce

7:21 PM |

Gotta what? Yo' gotta get a...

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Random Question

10:27 PM |

Monday, April 13, 2009

Letters to a Young Sister

Thoughts after reading...

I went to the bookstore Saturday evening in search of a book recommend to me by Mr. Stark only to find that my wonderfully close B&N had closed up shop (FEEL MY FRUSTRATION WITH ME!!!). The next closest one to me is way up on the north east side of the city (I live in the south west). So alas I crossed my fingers and hoped that on Sunday when I drove out to buy groceries, the "Million Books" store (as my boss called it this morning) had it. But it didn't (but I knew that. Not a fan of that place at all, because they never have what I'm looking for). So I guess I'll be ordering it online.

In the meantime, I picked up the book by Hill Harper, Letters to a Young Sister. I had heard of this book and had always had an interest in seeing what it was about. Especially after the praise of the book that preceded it, Letters to a Young Brother. I started reading it Sunday afternoon and had not been able to put it down until I finished it today. Of course the book was written to be for a younger demographic, but until September I'll continue to consider myself young, so I still found his words of interest.

I think what made the book an interesting read for me was not so much in what he was saying but how he delivered it. Many of the things he mentioned about having faith, dreaming big, planing, etc are things that I know. Many are things that I don't do, even though I know. But it wasn't that. He really wrote in a voice that made it seem like you had personally written the letters he was answering. He never referred to the person he was writing these letters to by name. While he did use the names of the friends and boyfriends in the book, they felt more generic than specific, so you still felt like he was talking to you and referencing the people in your life. And his tone was one of truth, understanding and encouragement.

He acknowledge the fact that he was a man and his perspective would be given as such, so he enlisted some very powerful women to help give advice and answer questions. As well as other positive men to help give an even broader spectrum of ideas and encouragement. Their answers were direct and insightful with out being preachy. I guess what made me keep coming back to read more was that familiar tone. As if I had this secret pen pal to share all of my feelings with and receive some unbiased advice and support. All the while, he shared things in his life he was currently and had previously experienced. It was truly like you were reading letters from a dear friend.

Those of you who have never truly had platonic relationships are truly missing out. There is something that having a really good guy friend to talk to gives you that talking to your girlfriends won't. He made mention about having those in his books that I will explore more later. I used to have a lot of guy friends and I think it made me a bit nostalgic for the times we use to just share and talk. But that was before life got in the way and they became part of the coupledom. But I digress.

All in all I enjoyed this book. (Now that could be of my overall infatuation with this man. I mean really...he's fly....quite fly....But this celebrity crush is not one of pure looks alone. He's got it together on so many levels. Intelligent, dedicated to his passion, culturally and socially conscious. All attractive qualities to me...Genuinely a prototype, flaws and all..but back to the focus.) I can't say that I could have used this book in high school because I don't remember what I was like back then. It seems like a lifetime ago and all the pictures remind me of events, not of who I was. So who's to say that this book would have been good for me then. But I do know that I could have used it in graduate school. The book speaks a lot about remembering and discovering who you are and taking care of that person and bringing them out. I lost a lot of myself in graduate school. So good book Mr. Harper. You impress me more and more each day.

Next on the list..Losing the Race, Self-Sabotage in Black America...until next time.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Mental Playlist

10:43 AM |

Notorious B.I.G...

I don't know what got me to go back and pull this CD out the other day but it was a good little trip down memory lane.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Moment of Simple

11:28 PM |

Left work singing one of the songs in my head today...

I Figured It Out

11:09 PM |

How the "cool" people become old school...

You know I ponder random things. Nothing new. I was thinking the other day about how people like say parents or the really cool uncle become haters of new school music and start listening to strictly what is considered old school music. I mean I'm noticing my listening trends and as the music has evolved, I've found music that I liked and evolved with it so to speak. And I think that the "adults" in my life did the same when they were my age. So how did they stop listening to "popular" music? When did it happen? And as I was riding around in the car I figured it out.

I haven't listened to the radio in like the past 2 weeks or so (thanks to the Keri Hilson it much). Not like I listened to the radio that much anyway (radio stations need to do better here). I noticed that I turned from some new song on the radio to the "oldies" station and listened to a Stevie Wonder song instead. And that's when it hit me. I realized that while all new music isn't crap, a good 85% of what is played on the radio is. And every time you turn to the stations it just so happens that the crap is what's on or commercials or talking (and talking and talking and talking). You find yourself turning more and more to your CD's and when you tire of them you go back to the classics.

And there you are. Officially old school. So I think about the parents, the aunts and uncles and I believed that's what happened. I mean think about all the old school songs that are included on the top countdowns. Those are the best. But those weren't the only songs on the airwaves. And if we think that some of the songs that are on the best of lists of those times are hokey IMAGINE what the others sounded like. *shudder* Think about how many of our songs won't make it to the best of lists. That's how it happend.

I know. Random.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Random Thought

7:14 PM |

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Not That Complicated

5:43 PM |

I mean's not...

I was driving to work this evening and something I heard on the radio got me thinking about all these self-help people. Why are we listening to them? I think that these people are the ones messing everyone up. They talk as if everything is so ultra complicated. Relationships, dating, marriage and the like. And ladies we take the brunt of it. Making us and the world believe we are these complex creatures of mystery. Give me a break.

I don't think life is supposed to be as hard as the book writers keep making it out to be. Either you like him or you don't. You love him or you don't. You want sex or you don't. It's not that hard. I think that over the years people have managed to convince the masses that in order to have successful relationships it has to be filled with innuendos, secret meanings and what not. I just don't buy into the belief that it's that hard.

Just be up front with each other. Come from a place of honesty and not hate and things will be OK. It's just really not that complicated.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Single Slaughter

11:11 PM |

Cutting ties with single friends...

I don't know if you've noticed but there seems to be this strange phenomena happening. Apparently once two people decide to get together and become a "couple", it is no longer OK to hang out with single people. As if our singleness is going to corrupt the very fabric of the coupledom. So to protect the coupledom people start slashing away at single friends. Notice how I say friends. The rulers of the coupledom do not cut off random single people, oh no, they are terminating all ties with people who were there before the coupledom was established.

However in the same swoop they take aim at the solitary nature of your current status and recommend that you join the coupledom. Now typically after you have graduated from college the options on how you are able to enter the coupledom are club/bar, church, through friends/family or random happenstances. So, random happenstances are just that...random. Odds of that happening are rare. And when you reach this age, the clubs/bars/parties start to become 1 of 2 things: a vacation spot for those venturing out of the coupledom or cestpools for the rejected. Neither are good resources. Now if you go to church to worship like you're supposed to then church is out. And all that is left is friends introducing you to other people. But if all your friends are residing in the coupledom, how the hell are they supposed to introduce you to other people. And with their lack of ability to help become a part of the solution, one would think that they would let it go but no, they keep on slashing away. Apparently forgetting the saying "if you're not part of the solution then you are..."

Don't get me wrong, those in the coupledom do have their moments where they let visitors in. Throw a few parties and invite those from beyond the walls. And all is well and the people rejoyce. Until the men-folk segment themselves from their chatty female counterparts and you're left with a hen party. Being sure to be around just enough to say that things are still the same as to ease their own sense of guilt from being completely assimilated into the coupledom culture.

What is the deal? Why do couples feel the need to cut off all ties to the single people that supported them from day one? We are supposed to be your friends. And as friends you should know that we have respect enough for your relationships not to disrespect or endanger it in any way. Nor are we jealous of what you have managed to find. If the single people in your lives were ever truly your friends they'd be happy that you found someone you really care about.

Don't treat us as if we were the step-cousin with the lazy eye and the short shrivled up left arm that doesn't move. And don't expect us to be there waiting to incorporate you back into our every day life once you get banished from the coupledom. Just because you suddenly have time for us, doesn't mean we have time for you. The hillside outside of the coupledom is forever in transition. Stay behind those walls too long and all the people you knew on the outside will be gone...

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Leave My Stuff Alone

8:13 PM |

Exploring happiness...

They say that money can't buy happiness and that you should never invest your happiness in stuff. So say you enjoy visiting other places, keeping up with family, surfing, etc, how are you supposed to do all of those things with out money? Even keeping up with family requires money. You have to have money to own a phone to speak to them. You have to have money to visit them if they don't live near you and even if they do you have to have money to put gas in your car or take public transportation. Even if you write them letters you have to have money to buy the paper to write on. (Unless you are a liberator of office supplies). So you're in this cycle of needing money to do these things to keep you happy. So in a sense money does buy you happiness.

You are also told that you should never invest your happiness in other people. So even if you are not single to put the weight of your happiness onto other people is unreliable. Husbands/boyfriends leave. Kids eventually grow up. Friends flake out. And not everyone has the most reliable family. And while it's very possible to be very happy alone, there is something called loneliness. And no matter how happy you are with yourself EVERYONE gets lonely.

Then there is this notion about stuff. The things you own. How you can't take it with you when you die so you shouldn't stress the importance of it when you are living. This could be a single person's take on it because when you don't have a husband/boyfriend/kids truthfully after a certain age all you have is your stuff. I mean once you get older, friends move away, get married, have babies and all that time you were able to spend with one another is drastically reduced. So you start to seek solace in your own place. Your own space. Start doing things for yourself. And eventually if you have no pets, the things you have start to make you happy. And even when you die the things you own have the potential of making others happy. Those others being the ones that inherit your stuff. They can potentially pay off some bills, give themselves a bit of a financial cushion if you did your planing correctly. Then don't they get a bit of happiness from your stuff??

I don't know. Sometimes I think this notion of what it takes to be "happy" is just an illusion. One great big hamster wheel on which we run constantly trying to get somewhere that we probably will never truly reach. Because once you become happy with where you are you are now labeled complacent. And no one wants to be just complacent. So back on the wheel we go. Round and round and round.....

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Random Thought

5:54 PM |

in video form...