An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Moment of Simple

2:16 PM |

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Hello? Goodbye?

11:08 PM |

is it worth fighting for...

If you love them, let them go. If you love them, fight for it. A discussion with my council today had me questioning these two ideas which are clearly contradictory to each other. So which is it? Fight or flight?

Some believe that if you truly love someone and let them go. The thought behind that is, if it was truly a love that was meant to be they'd return to you. It's also the ultimate sacrifice, to give up your own happiness for that of the one you love. But, if you let someone go, is that not the same as giving up? If you do in fact let them go with the thought in mind, that you hope they return, you are in a way wishing them unhappiness without you. So are you truly letting go? Are you truly wishing them happiness? No. So how is this the right angle?

The others believe that if you truly love someone, you'll fight for them. Really? To me that kinda falls on a thin line between fighting to make a relationship work and fighting to make someone be with you. If you have to work that hard to keep a relationship together, is it really meant to be? Shouldn't you want to be with that person, and if you want to be with that person and vice versa, what are you fighting for?

I don't think one should have to make someone be with them. But I also don't believe you just give up on relationships when things get rough. So which is it? Fight for it? Let it go? Maybe there is no answer. Maybe we're just destined to do this dance... Mambo with the fighters... Waltz alone....

Monday, September 22, 2008

Random Thought

10:01 AM |

Friday, September 19, 2008

And Another One

12:46 AM |

Racist mows down bicyclist...

Here's the story of a young woman who was intentionally hit by a car while riding her bike to the grocery store. The driver, after crashing his car into a house trying to hit this woman, got out of the car screaming racial slurs at the 24 year old. My heart truly goes out to her.

Remembering a simpler time. Ah the days spent in the Goldsboro Public Library with my aunt. They reminisce, they reminisce...

Random Thought

12:46 AM |

Say Word

12:46 AM |

Can't believe it...

So this week I gotta say word to T-Pain. His new track "Can't Believe It" is all over the radio, but that's not why I'm talking about him. My sister put me on to his video when it premiered on 106 and Park a while back and I must say that I was hesitant to look. I mean, it's T-Pain. How good can it be? But after some persuasion I turned and I must say that I love the video. It's taken a lot of what the trends graphic designers have been doing lately and put it in motion. Being an effects girl, it's just so visual and cohesive I love it. And after watching it again tonight, I decided to share. [Please mind the alignment. Yahoo had the best quality video, but it's too wide for my current layout.]

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Southern Hospitality

5:06 PM |

fo' all y'all.....

So today I sat down occupying the 6 hour break between my morning and night classes I have to teach today with a look through the shows I have stored in my DVR. I decided to get caught up on my one of my shows and once again I am face to face with the poster child of the south: blonde, simple, country girl. I looked at this young woman and my first thought was well, at least she's not as country and the girls they usually put on TV. But alas, that was overshadowed by a superior attitude and ignorant comments. Those on TV are constantly from some random po' dunk town with one stop light. Once again perpetuating that the southern people are still a very backwards, racist, "simple" group of people. I hate all types of stereotypes. It is to be acknowledge that all stereotypes are based on some type of truth, however whenever one race, religion, area of people are constantly represented one sided, I must throw up my hands and say SERIOUSLY.

Everytime I see anyone with an NC, SC, GA, AL, TN, etc beside their name the first thing I hear is a slew of hard core southern accents and a total abuse of the English language. That is usually accompanied by hard-core religious beliefs and randomly ignorant off the cuff comments. Now anyone who has been to the south has seen those people, met those people, hell half are probably members of your own family. However, the south is not solely this back woods, backwards, bible toting, tobacco spitting place. There are cities growing in population every day due to many people deciding to relocate. There are people vacationing, doing business ventures, owning second homes, and getting their education in the south. We are just as intelligent, motivated, hardworking, and aware as everyone else.

I shouldn't have to feel the need to justify why I live where I live and the only reason why I do feel that way is because of the bs that's out there as a representative. So stop looking at me crazy and with pity when I tell you I'm from south. It takes entirely too long to give you my background and really what is the point. Like I have to justify to you why I'm not a traditional southerner. No I don't have to explain to you how I got here. Yes, my accent isn't terribly southern. I can read and write, and I wear shoes that are far better than the ones you probably rock on a daily basis.

So stick that in your pipe big media and smoke it. But this is just a small irritation. There's still issues with the depiction of women, women of color, men, Asians, Blacks, Whites, Jewish, Muslims......

But that's for another time......yeeeeaaaahhhh!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Random Thought

9:14 PM |

Random Question

4:25 AM |

...what about your friend?

As part of the know your role series, it's important to explore how to interact in your daily relationships once you've established which role you are currently playing in. Today, after a week or so of questions, comments and concerns, the topic of this entry will be on defining what it means to be "the friend".

While there will come a time when there will be a discussion on whether or not men and women can truly be friends, this is not the post for it. So for the sake of argument, let's say that it is possible for men and women to be friends. What does that mean? It's obvious that men and women need different things out of their relationships, so how do you balance the underlying nature of both to have an equal and fulfilling friendship?

First it must be recognized that women aren't men and men aren't women. This may be a duh moment but really look at that statement. Most women (and I do mean most - not all), regardless of how close they may be to do, do not want to be perceived as one of the boys. And ladies, men never want to be one of the girls. So men, always remember that regardless of how tomboy a woman may be, she's still a woman and should still be treated as such should her behavior warrant it. And ladies, save the cramps and period stories for your girls. Men don't want to hear all of that.

Second, one of the things that should be pointed out is that it is not the best move to enter into a friendship as a consolation prize for not being able to be together sexually or otherwise. Those types of tensions only bring drama into the friendship, more so if the other party doesn't know they are a person of interest. It puts up some severe boundaries and causes random arguments for what appear to be no apparent reason. It taints possible advice and makes normal interactions become laced with innuendos and suspicions. There are instances where this set up could work into being a viable friendship, but only if the two are mature enough not to let the aforementioned things distract from the development of the friendship.

Overall, if you are the friend, be the friend. Understand that men probably already have had some other nagging, demanding women on their end they have had to take care of, so don't be an addition to that list. And men, understand that women probably have had some untrustworthy, undependable, liars they deal with or have dealt with as well, so try not to be another one. You should be as down, trustworthy and loyal to that man or woman as you would be to a friend of the same sex. Support each others goals and dreams, share laughs and shoulders when times get rough, be honest and true with each other, even when the truth may hurt a little. Be available, real and understanding. These gender crossing friendships can be some of the best and most fulfilling in the world. Really take the time to nurture them.

Remember no role is permanent. Just make sure your behavior gets you a promotion and not the pink slip.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Moment of Simple

1:22 AM |

Monday, September 1, 2008

Birthday Reflections

10:44 PM |

Thoughts on the eve of a birthday...

As I sit here this evening reflecting on the last year and the last 9 years I am actually filled with this sense of satisfaction. Does satisfaction mean that I don't want more out of my life? Not at all. But what it means is that I feel good about all that I have managed to accomplish and happy with the decisions I've made. I often criticize my friends who have this 'glass half empty' approach to life and had to take a minute to check myself; to make sure I am not guilty of the same mentality. This was hard place to reach because it's so easy to see what's wrong. It's easy to see the extra weight, the struggling bank account, the broken furniture, the bills and creditors. It's harder to look at what you've managed to finish and realize that you are making progress. I'm sitting here on the eve of my 20's still wanting to do more with myself in the next year so I don't feel like I completely wasted my 20's. But in the same breath not feeling bad about what I still have left to do; being happy that I have accomplished what I have.

I've learned a lot of lessons, made a lot of changes, and grown a lot. I've taken a few steps backwards, lost my self and am on the path to finding my true self again. I've completed 2 degrees, traveled to some really nice places, tried new foods, met new great people, lived away from home, bought a couple of houses, cars, started my career, started my business, loved and loss. I've done a lot and still have so far to go and I am excited about the possibilities.

I'm happy to know that I can make it now. By myself, and with the support (sometimes) and love of others, I've done well. And if I take hold of all the things I've learned over the years, continue to set goals and work hard towards those goals I know I can make this last year of 20's even better. I thank all that have been with me and I truly appreciate your input, your ear, your shoulder, your support and your love. I hope I have been there for you all as much as you have been there for me.

Hugs and Smooches,