An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Friday, December 31, 2010

Auld Lang Syne

9:00 AM |

Happy New Year...

Usually at the end of a year I think a lot. I get extremely introspective and I think mostly about my life, where I'm going, what to do next. This year, I did not have too many thoughts. Mostly because I think, for me, the end of this year was more about decisions than reflections. While the when is still developing, I no longer have to think about the what.

So this New Year, I actually have no resolutions. And I must say, it feels good. For those of you who are making New Year's Resolutions, I'd like to give you a few words:

1. If you didn't do it last year, take it off your list for this year. It's not to say that this won't be the year you'll finally do it. I'm just saying that repeatedly putting an item on the list that you never finish can make you feel unaccomplished at the end of the year. You want to feel better as a result of these resolutions, not defeated.

2. Make your resolutions realistic. Too often resolutions are these pie in the sky type dreams. I'm not saying not to aim high. Just make sure that what you are trying to do is actually attainable.

3. Make the resolutions about you. Not about someone else, or what others can provide for you. The responsibility of resolving these resolutions is yours and yours alone. Depending on someone or something else for your success is a losing move. Be a bit selfish this year and make your resolutions about you and how you can improve yourself or the lives of others.

4. Don't be to hard on yourself. For many of your resolutions, working on the resolution is just as important as finishing it. Resolutions are supposed to make you a better and happier person. So if you look back at the end of the year and feel good about who you are and what you've managed to do, then you've succeeded.

So toast it up tonight and eat your (ham), black-eyed peas and collards tomorrow. I hope everyone had a happy holiday and I wish you nothing but success in 2011!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Moment of Simple

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Random Thought

11:59 AM |

Monday, December 20, 2010

Moment of Simple

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Not A Good Look

10:39 AM |

What are you contacting her for?

Ladies, hear me. There is absolutely no reason, at all, what-so-ever, for you to EVER make contact with the 'other woman'. Don't let these R&B songs mess your head up! Unless that other woman was one of your so-called-friends, she has ZERO allegiance to you. She doesn't know you and apparently doesn't give two ish's about you either. She might not even know about you at all. If your man is cheating, you address it with that man. Period. If he refuses to leave that, or any other woman alone, then.......

It is up to you to decide what you will and will not put up with. If you decide to stay and he doesn't make a change, then you decide to put up with his dealings with the other women. If you waste your time running one off, what's to say that he won't find another. What are you going to do? Spend the rest of your life in that relationship chasing off women cause your man can't keep it in his pants?

Even if this woman is a predator and is pursuing your man against his wishes, it is up to HIM to stop her advances. He is a MAN. He needs to be able to take care of his business.

Bottom line, calling up these other women, sending them "he's mine, you may have had him once but I got him all the time" emails, just makes you look STUPID. (And if you put it in an email you're writing your dumbness to be printed, forwarded and shared for the whole world to see how stupid you sound). And we all know that stupidity is simply not a good look.


On the Sixth Day of Christmas
Time Warner gave to me....
Six hours of movies,
Four excessive tardies,
Three absent co-eds,
Two unfinished projects,
And a grad passing class with a C....

(to be continued...)

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Why You All In My Grill??

9:42 AM |

Really, dude....

I completely understand that men will look. Doesn't mean they love you any less. Doesn't mean they actually want the woman they're looking at. They just like to look. Men are stimulated visually. It's just what it is.

But I mean, really dude, I need you be better at it. Women look all the time. But what you don't often see is a woman staring dude down. They get their looks in and are on to the next one before you even know what happened. It's polite. It's quick. They log it in to the memory and are on their way. If you catch a girl looking it's because she wanted you to see it and either she doesn't give a damn what you think or she is trying to prove a point.

Men? Not so much. I need you to be quicker. More discrete. This way, you don't put the girl you're looking at into an unnecessary situation with your girl cause you're eyes are too slow. Look, blink, keep it moving. Don't stare. You should not be able to tell how many fillings I have in my mouth while you're girl is decompressing after her hard day at work. (FYI I have no fillings, I'm just saying). Play it off. Find something in her general direction that you can pretend to look at so when she catches you looking (which she always will) so you can at least try to fake like your looking at something in her general direction. It won't work but at least you can try.

Give the girl her face back! Get your game up pimpin'! Your long stares are just drama waiting to happen.


On the Fifth Day of Christmas
My PEOPLES gave to me...
Four excessive tardies,
Three absent co-eds,
Two unfinished projects,
And a grad passing class with a C....

(to be continued...)

Friday, December 17, 2010

12 Days of Christmas

2:50 PM |


On the Fourth Day of Christmas
My students gave to me
Four excessive tardies,
Three absent co-eds,
Two unfinished projects,
And a grad passing class with a C....

(to be continued...)

How to enter a room...

This is something that has annoyed me for a very long time. So I have complied a list of things that you should be at least conscious of when entering a room, a building, a hallway, etc.

1. Get off the phone.
When you are about to enter a room or a building, any phone conversation should be wrapped up as to not disturb those in the building or the room. At the very least you should consider placing your caller on hold until you enter the room and observe the situation or lower your voice while continuing your conversation. This way you don't disturb anyone that may already be in there. Many times you are going someplace that would require you to interact with other people. It's common courtesy to end your phone call, handle your business, then call the person back.

2. Use your inside voice.
There is no need to shout or be loud in a hallway, room or building. I am standing less than 5 inches from you. I can hear you. If someone is at the end of the hallway and you need to get their attention, you can attempt to speak louder, but you should never yell. Speed up your pace until you catch up with them. If you miss them, then you miss them. You'll catch up with them later.

3. Be aware of your surroundings.
Notice where you are at all times. Are you in front of your boss' office? Entering a classroom with the lights off and projector on? Are you entering a common space where someone is speaking over a microphone, possibly doing a presentation to an audience? Modify your behavior accordingly. If you have to take your conversation to another area as to not disturb what is going on in the room/area you've just entered then do so. Don't be rude.

4. If the door is closed, it's closed for a reason.
If a door is closed, that could be an indication that you are not supposed to enter at that time. You may have to ask for permission to enter the room or notify that you are attempting to enter with a knock. Either way there is a reason for the door to be closed and you should not just roll up in there without invitation, notification, or politeness. Also, if you enter a room where the door is closed, be sure to close it behind you unless you are prompted to leave it open.

5. Never barge into a room. Enter it.
Just don't be rude, be respectful and be aware of where you are, who you are with and adjust your behavior accordingly.


On the Third Day of Christmas
My students gave to me,
Three absent co-eds,
Two unfinished projects,
And a grad passing class with a C...

(to be continued...)

Thursday, December 16, 2010

12 Days of Christmas

12:42 PM |

On the First Day of Christmas
My students gave to me
A grad
Passing class
With a

On the Second Day of Christmas
My students gave to me
Two unfinished projects,
And a grad
Passing class
With a

(to be continued...)

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Random Thought

11:30 AM |

Monday, December 13, 2010

Moment of Simple

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Random Thought

12:00 PM |

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Who's The Better Communicator?

12:00 PM |

Men or Women...

True or False: Women are better communicators than men. Many would say true. Well, forever being the antagonist, I have to disagree. Just because women are more open to talk and more open to share doesn't necessarily make them better communicators.

Men will often tell you exactly what they are thinking. If they say they're thinking about nothing, they 95% of the time really and truly mean nothing. If they say they like it, they do (or at least do enough not to get themselves in trouble by saying otherwise). The only time they don't really say what they mean is when they are really uncomfortable talking about whatever the subject may be. For whatever reason. Remember part of a measure of a man is being true to his word and standing by what he says. So for the most part, if he says it (and he's a man and not a punk liar) you can believe he is communicating exactly what is on his mind. If he tells you nothing, and I mean nothing. You can't get him to speak up or out about anything...then there's a problem. And not with communication.

Women on the other hand may speak more, but I feel they often fail at communication efforts. For example, some will say we want a man to be the head of the household yet undermind his every efforts to do so. Some will say we want a man to be adventurous in the bedroom then freak out if he tries something different. I think, in general, many women don't know what we really want. We can be quick to see what we don't want, but explaining what we do want can be a struggle. We often have a tendency to send mix messages. Yet get mad when the man doesn't understand. Fall back on the whole, 'you know what I meant' idea. When really we don't even know what we mean.

Women, because biologically we are more emotionally charged beings, do have a tendency to fly off the handle. When we get mad we can shut down when things don't turn out the way we want. Ignore things we don't want to hear. Close ourselves off to other opinions. Yell, scream, throw stuff. How is that communicating?

Please believe this is not meant to apply to all men or all women because we know statistically there are variants in every population. However, if I am looking at the blanket statement 'Women are better communicators than men', I just honestly have to disagree.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Moment of Simple

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Not A Good Look

10:14 AM |

Bottoms down....

Getting sloppy-slurry-fall down drunk is never a good look. But when you're about 21-24ish it tends to be a bit more understandable. Most are still new to drinking. You're in college (or at a college party or the like) getting it in. You tend to expect it a bit more. However, when you past the age of 25, there is absolutely no excuse for not knowing and respecting your limit.

Let me just say for ladies, this is really not a good look. It doesn't matter how cute you are, how smart you are, how much of the perfect girl you are the minute you drop your drink on his lap or you have to lean on this strange guy (who through your bottle goggles you think is cute), you are now 'that' girl. And trust, you don't want to be 'that' girl.

Fellas....I can't really say I have any expectations for you guys on a night out...cause...well..... Just don't get out there thinking you're Kimbo Slice. Don't turn into the creepy stalker in the corner. Don't turn into Mr. Touchy-feely.

I'm not saying don't get out and have fun. You can get drunk if you want to. Have at it. But I don't care how cute you are, taking a stumble in your stilettos, getting bounced out of the club for brawling, getting completely sloppy every weekend is just not a good look.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Why Love Now?

11:10 AM |

The million dollar question...

If you're familiar with the Millionaire Match Maker, Patty always asks her millionaires 'why love now?' That is such a great question that so many people aren't asking. It really makes you think about if you are ready for love and the reasons why. I think it helps to really push some reason and logic into a very emotional process.

That is a question anyone out there looking for love or about to get serious with someone should ask themselves. Why, after either such a short time or a long time, love now? What makes you think that you are ready to make a commitment? What makes you think you are ready to be with just that one person? What, after all of the previous relationships you've had, makes you prepared to enter into a new, long-term relationship? What is it about you and your lifestyle that makes you prepared or ready for love?

Focusing in on yourself and your current position in life will help you focus in on your wants and needs in a mate. You'll be able to eliminate those suitors who are really not good for you, and you'll be able to realize when you have exactly what you wanted. So maybe before we enter into our next relationship we should be asking 'why love now'?

Friday, December 3, 2010

Acting Right

10:50 AM |

Appropriate Christmas shopping behavior...

It's that time of year again. Time when all common sense, compassion and chivalry go out the window and pure, unadulterated animalism takes over. That's right. Christmas sale shopping is upon us. If you're reading this, you've managed to survive the running of the bulls (also known as Black Friday). Congratulations. I hope you made it out with great deals and all of your teeth. With only 21 more shopping days left until christmas, I thought I should go over a few things before you go out and hit the malls to finish up your gift gathering.

1. Just park already. It makes no sense to circle and circle and circle. Do you know how expensive gas is? You've already spent more time circling the lot for a good parking space than you would have spend in the mall. Accept it. You'll have to park in the back. Just log it as exercise in your work out journal. It'll help burn off all those Christmas goodies you'll be eating up anyway.

2. The 30 second rule. This is what I feel is an appropriate wait time when you want to look at something someone is already looking at. You've been in the store for the last hour and now all of a sudden you need the 1 thing I'm looking at right at this very minute. WAIT! There is no need for you to reach in front of me to get something when I'm about to move in like 2 seconds.

3. Don't block the isle. Stores are crammed to the brim with stuff to buy so the isle size has gotten substantially smaller. Find an appropriate place to park your cart (or yourself) so that you are not directly in the flow of traffic. You want to stand in the middle of the isle and look at people cross-eyed when they bump into you and knock all your stuff over. Move b!$&#... get out the way!
--Side Note--take 2 seconds and walk your lazy butt to the cart return or back to the store too. No need to leave it in the empty parking space. That's just rude and inconsiderate.

4. Don't push or shove. Come back tomorrow. Ask when the shelves will be restocked. Most of the lack of stuff is just a ploy by the store anyway to make it seem like it's a dire situation, when they know they have 20 boxes back there. Don't let this season make you loose all of your godliness.

5. Open those isles. This is for the workers and stores. You have 50 isles. Open them up! Why is the line wrapped around the building while your workers are in the back playing Pictionary in the toy isle? And if you've been hired to be seasonal help, be of assistance. If you know nothing about your store or your section, how are you helping me? We are trying to handle business here. Spending an hour in line for a product it took only 5 minutes to find is not good customer service.

Learning not to lose your mind during holiday shopping will make the experience as hassle free as any other day. Remember the Golden Rule and just be a good person when you're out there in the trenches.

Thursday, December 2, 2010


12:00 PM |

What they are and why you need them...

Haters. We've seen them. We've had them. But do we need them? The short answer is yes. To further explain this we need to know what a Hater is and where the hate comes from.

This is a word that is often used incorrectly. A hater is not someone who is mad cause you stole her man/woman or anything stupid or trivial like that. They just hate you and probably for good reason.

True 'hate', in this context, is derived from a form of jealousy. Jealous over what you have accomplished. Jealous over the things you have managed to obtain. Jealous over who you are dating. Jealous over you in general. Often this hate or jealousy can be displayed in words, faces, and attitude.

Most people would like to do away with all the Haters because, yes they are irritating and can be hurtful. But the only reason you have haters is because you've managed to accomplish or obtain something that the Hater has not. Good for you. Haters are just another way of letting you know that you're doing something right. Because let's be honest, no matter how good you are, how nice you are, how much you give back, you can always fine a hater in the corner.

At times, a Hater will take their hate for you and try to make you hate them. That's a great thing. Feeds the well of competition and has the ability to make you and those around you better. It's always good to make your Haters your motivators. Those are good haters. A bad Hater will hate because they don't have the drive or the self esteem to get up and make something of themselves. Those you can continue to just ignore and let them hate.

Remember, the only people that are liked by everyone are those that are silent. So don't be afraid to get out there and make some noise. Get your haters up.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Random Thought

10:30 AM |

Ah, technology...Gives people a new way to exercise their bitch-ass-ness.