An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

10:23 AM |

THE POWER OF PRAYER friends and their religion

Before anyone completely freaks out, take time to read this all the way through before passing judgment. I know I'm stepping into tricky territory, but being that this is my blog, I want to talk about what I'm thinking right now so here it goes. I've never been one to really believe in that whole "Power of Prayer" idea. Not that I completely disbelieved it. But you see it so many times where people say "O I was so broke but then I prayed and money came to me", when really pay day finally came around. So very quickly that whole idea about the power of prayer really started to lose it's significance or true meaning. I see it more as a 'think positive, positive things will happen' type thing. You put good energy out into the universe and hopefully that will be returned to you. And usually those people who have prayed about their situations, have gone out the next day and been more proactive about changing than they were before. That usually is what makes the difference; not solely the prayer.

With that said, I have a friend who to me has always been on the overly religious side. However when you look and what she's managed to overcome by keeping her hope in her faith, I think it would be hard for anyone not to believe she believes it. She's always been one to take her problems to God in prayer. However when she and her husband were expecting their first child, their faith was really needed. As the child was developing, they noticed she had a hole in her heart. They thought that after birth she was going to have to undergo extensive open heart surgery. They prayed about it and less than 2 weeks later, the hole was closed. The baby had more problems after she was born, some related to the heart some not, but she would always tell me she was praying about it. And with out fail or interaction from the doctors a majority of her problems solved themselves. Here 2 months later, the baby is home and doing fairly well but she still has more surgeries to undergo. The mother needs to be home with her baby and her maternity leave ends Wednesday. Her husband a few weeks ago got laid off from his job. They prayed. He now has been offered and even better newer position with more benefits that will be of help to his family. This is just a very rough and brief synopsis of what has been going on in their lives. There have been countless other times where things have appeared to be going into a very bad place but the two of them have always managed to come out unscathed. When I ask how they dealt with it all she told me was they prayed. And because she is who she is, I know it's said with truth and belief, not just as a saying.

So what is it? Is it really just about praying to an omnipotent force to change your situations? Or is it really just a way to keep positive and hopeful? I don't know. She is a really positive person. Always has been. So it could just be positive karma returning the goodness she's ALWAYS put out into the universe. Whatever it is, I admire her faith. I don't know where I lost mine or how the connection got severed. I think there's something beautiful and calming about faith like that. Maybe one day I'll get that back.

12:27 AM |


There are things in life we all hold on to. Sometimes it's as simple as an old toy. Sometimes it's grudges, anger, distrust, hate and hurt. Whatever it is, there comes a point where, in order for you to move on, you have to find a way to let go. While it may not seem like these burdens are holding you down, this extra baggage you carry makes your journey a lot more cumbersome and tiring. The load you're carrying may not break your back, but if you look close enough you'll see it is slowing you down. And if you are not acknowledging your baggage, you will unknowingly pass it along to the ones closest to you.

But how do you let go? I think it starts by first letting yourself see what you are holding on to. You have to ask yourself why you are carrying this around. Once you figure out what it is you are carrying, how you let it go will be up to you. I feel that letting go is not the same as forgiving. It's also not the same as forgetting. It's not that you're telling the person that wronged you it's ok. There's a way that you can decide that you are not carrying this anymore without doing either. My process will be different that the next man's and it'll change for each situation. So there will be a way for you to. You just have to discover what it is.

I know that this all is easier said than done. There's a lot I haven't let go of either. But I had a chance to let some of what I was carrying go this weekend. I feel much better for it. Hopefully I'll be able to do the same with the rest. I recommend you all try and do the same.

4:22 PM |


11:29 PM |

...h, i, j, k, lmno, and p

Do you know what this says?

5:45 PM |

...inside a beautiful mind

Watch what an amazing autistic man can create from his photographic memory.

1:28 PM |

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL every single way

There is a principle in design called the Golden Section or the Divine Porportion. This proportion is based on Phi (= 1.618033988749895... ). What it is, is simply the ratio of the line segments that result when a line is divided in one very special and unique way. You divide that line so that the ratio of the length of the entire line (A) to the length of larger line segment (B) is the same as the ratio of the length of the larger line segment (B) to the length of the smaller line segment (C). See diagram:

What this means is that there is a division of space that makes objects more appealing than others. Those objects are usually ones that are able to be divided with this Golden Section. This proportion is found in the solar system, plants, art and architecture, DNA and the human face. Those that are established as "beautiful" usually have this proportion represented on their face with respect to the distance from the ear to the eyes, the eyes to each other, the eyes to the nose, the nose to the mouth, etc. It is the underlying reason why people are considered beautiful or their bodies considered perfect. See how to measure it out. Create a ruler for yourself and see how your object of desire measures up.

It is all too known that the standard of beauty that was set was done so based on the European ideals of what beautiful is. With the history of slavery and the domination/occupation of some of the worlds most beautiful cultures by said people, it was taught/beat/forced into our heads that what we were was ugly. Sadly even with all the knowledge we possess today (and I mean we as in ALL people of color), there can be studies done on our children that still show the preference to the European standard of beauty. And as much as the standard as evolved to include the desire to have the curves and fullness in certain parts of the body that a majority of people of color have naturally, it is still very much centered around the old standards. This is an old debate that will probably never evolve to the point where I'll begin to see women who look like me be dubbed as the most beautiful women in the world.

Which is worse: The pressure to live up to the standard of beauty or The pressure to BE the standard of beauty? I don't think I would want to BE the standard. It would still be nice to be appreciated nonetheless.

5:05 AM |

....Princess Peach better do some yoga, her man's coming!

Insomnia leads to surfing and surfing lead me to The People's Mario. Animaion done by Celarent. The way they are remaking things I wouldn't surprised to see a Mario Brothers like this on the shelf. (It would have to get out of Nintendo's hands before that would happen though. Odds...not likely).

4:55 AM |

...random picture

Remember when you told people you had a MAC and they looked at you like you just stabbed them in the throat? It's amazing how things change. Click on the image to get a closer look.

3:08 AM |

LET'S ALL GO TO THE MOVIES spoilers only trailers

There are some new movies coming out that look promising.

For the Thrillers:

Starring Hayden Christensen, Samuel L. Jackson, Jamie Bell and Rachel Bilson.

A sci-fi thriller. A genetic anomaly allows a young man to teleport himself anywhere. He discovers this gift has existed for centuries and finds himself in a war that has been raging for thousands of years between "Jumpers" and those who have sworn to kill them.

Staring Anthony Hopkins, Christian Slater, John Turturro, and Michael Clarke Duncan

This is film written and directed by Anthony Hopkins. Hopkins describes his first screenplay as "about a man, who's caught in a slipstream of time falling back on itself and he remembers his own future.

Alien vs Predator Requiem
Starring Reiko Aylesworth, John Ortiz, Johnny Lewis, David Paetkau, Chelah Horsdal

Another installment in this on going series. You know what it's about. This time the battle is on the earth's surface. This is a red banner preview so be of age.

For the Kids (and Kids at heart):

Staring animated characters

A film from folks over at Pixar. The year is 2700. WALL-E, a robot, spends every day doing what he was made for. But soon, he will discover what he was meant for. Should be good fun for all.

Horton Hears A Who
Staring more animated characters

Horton the Elephant struggles to protect a microscopic community from his neighbors who refuse to believe it exists. The makers of Ice Age have put together this one. From the trailer the animation looks really true to the Dr. Seuss style and I love that.

For the Hero:

Iron Man
Starring Robert Downey Jr, Terrance Howard, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jeff Bridges and Samuel Jackson

When Tony Stark is forced to create a life support suit to keep him alive after an accident he decides to use the technology in his suit to fight crime. All you comic book heads, have you seen it? Probably. But if not here you go. What I like to point out is the bad ass Audi at the beginning and that beautiful Terrance Howard that pops up in there as well.

The Dark Knight
Starring Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Morgan Freeman, and Gary Oldman.

Batman and James Gordon join forces with Gotham's new District Attorney, Harvey Dent, to take on a psychotic bank robber known as The Joker, whilst other forces plot against them, and Joker's crimes grow more and more deadly. (Kinda sounds a little like the original). The teasers and trailers I've found really do just that: Tease. But this is certainly promises to be the darkest of the Batman series. I'm curious to see how Heath Ledger does as the Joker.

Looks like 2008 is shaping up to be a good year for movies. FINALLY!

12:42 AM |

...the most sophisticated piece of technology...

I've tried to avoid it, but I have viewed this too many times today. Being that I studied advertising and marketing I notice commercials. This has got to be THE WORST commercial I've ever had the misfortune to lay my eyes on. I don't know if they thought it would be funny or what. I was personally appalled when I saw it. Why do they feel the need to advertise our "personal" products? Everything from this to "odor solutions". There are no odor solutions for guys advertised. All their commercials center around erectile dysfunction and razor bumps. All womens personal business is public property. Those at Amalgamated did what they were supposed to do. They got their clients product noticed.

Saturday, October 20, 2007


11:29 PM |

...a simple fantasy?

What do your dreams mean? Not your "hopes and dreams". The dreams that come to you when your body restores itself from the days activities. 1/3 of our lives are spent sleeping and in an average life time we spend 6 years dreaming. It's said that men typically dream more about other men no comment there. Women dream about men and women equally. Typically I believe I have a dreamless sleep. That could indicate that I have a protein deficiency or a personality disorder. I'm thinking that's not the case. I've also been told that I snore and it's said that when you snore you are not dreaming. (Hopefully I'm not too loud, I can't help it if my allergies inhibit my breathing!). So that could be it. Maybe I do dream, but I just don't remember them. 5 minutes after the end of the dream you forget 1/2 of it. After 10 minutes, 90% of it is gone. Being that I have 2 alarms that go off within 2 minutes of each other for an hour, my dreams are long gone before I'm conscious. Usually the only dreams I have that I remember are nightmares. That's probably because they jerk me out of my REM sleep. Dreamers who are awaken out of REM sleep tend to remember the dream more than those who sleep through the night. They are always one of two things. Either I'm being chased or I'm falling. So if I add everything up I am a protein deficient, anxious, insecure, unstable chic with a personality disorder. There are more details to the meaning of those dreams. Apparently there's some message there I need to pay attention to. What do your dreams mean?

10:28 PM |

iPHONES TOXIC? if brain cancer wasn't enough

So my mother calls me the other night all in what I can only remotely describe as a mild tissy about the fact that my sister told her that she saw on the news that the iPhones are supposedly hazardous to your health. Apparently scientists at Greenpeace Research Laboratories at the U.K.'s University of Exeter who dismantled the phone and tested 18 of its components found brominated flame retardants (BFRs) and polyvinyl chloride (PVC). These chemicals are shown to have adverse effects on reproduction in mammals. Apple says that the levels of these chemicals are in compliance with US and ROHS regulations. A majority of the components that contain these chemicals are contained within the phone. Beneath all the covers. Before today the only articles I found stated that the problem was not directly with the iPhone but with the earbuds that are shipped with it. Apparently these chemicals are what help provide flexibilty with plastics. The watchdog groups said that they are harmful to people because tend to chew and suck on these components and that will put the chemical in the body. One I just read stated that the simple contact with the cord exposes us to the chemical. I saw the earbuds that come with the iPhone and to me they appear to be your standard grade Apple headphones. If the problem is primarily with those, then attack that and not the phone. Also if the chemical was that harmful, there would be some type of recall. Not to say that we are not exposed to deadly chemicals on a daily basis anyway. Nor am I saying that Apple isn't recalling just because there isn't a direct relation to their products and a death yet. Just pick what you're going to die from and go happy. Read more..

1:48 PM |

...why does it cost so much to just live?

As I look around my lovely home I notice things. I notice things like you have no living room furniture. The floors in your bathroom still need to be redone. The kitchen needs new counters. The basement needs a floor. I can't see out of 1/2 of my windows..those need to be replaced. There are tons of other things that you need to do. Then I ask myself..."Shorty" (that's what I call myself sometimes) have a nice job, no kids, no man to spend your money on. Why don't you have more things? Why??? BILLS DAMN IT! Monthly I pay 15 people money. 15. It's not that I have a lot of credit cards. I only have one. Think about it, after you pay gas, mortgage, phone, cell, cable, car, that's six right there. God forbid you have any additional expenses (security system, terminex, credit card, gym membership, HOA, Home owners insurance, car insurance, don't forget student loans) and there it goes. All your money. How am I supposed to save for a rainy day?

They always say that money is not the key to happiness. I don't know if that is all true. The number 4 reason couples divorce is because of money. (Preceded only by cheating, communication issues and abuse.) Suicide rates are the highest among unemployed and impoverished people. We all know a majority of the reasons people start hustling and selling is to make money. There are so many other things in our lives that I believe money controls (which I won't mention care, I'm coming for you soon). If it's not that important then why is everyone chasing that dollar? I guess money really is the root of all evil.

I could streamline and reduce the things I have. But why? I work. I work hard. Why can't I enjoy the things I want to. All in moderation of course. Notice nothing I want really involve frivolous things. I'm not saying I need money to make me happy. However I do know that when I don't have it I am miserable. No one likes the stress of trying to figure out how to pay and who to pay first and who doesn't need to be paid right now. I guess it's time for me to get back on my hustle.

11:22 PM |


Friday, October 12, 2007

Random Thought

12:13 AM |

12:13 AM |


12:05 AM |

....more practice for class

Once again. Simple. Silly. But it moves.

10:45 PM |


My home girl told me about the first one. So I decided to share a few others.

Two men were arrested after they flashed police lights at a car in front of them. They didn't attempt to approach the car. When it pulled over they drove off. Unfortunately for them, the car they flash was driven by an off-duty police officer. The off-duty officer of course contacted some on duty officers who eventually surrounded the pair. One was arrested for impersonating an officer and the other was arrested for assault on an officer.

A woman was arrested attempting to pay a ticket. Her crime? She drove to the courthouse in a stolen car. Deputies were given an anonymous tip that she would be in a stolen car. She had been in court two weeks prior and was found not guilty of possession of a stolen tag and guilty of driving without possession of a state driver's license.

A man wrote a not demanding money in attempt to rob a bank. This scholar wrote said note on the back his personal check. Authorities could still make out the information on the check though he blacked it out. Nothing more to say there.

11:13 AM |

...why I just need to work for myself

This morning I awoke around 6:50 am to prepare to leave for my 8:00am class. I arrived to the school at approximately 7:30am. Upon arrival I was made aware that the photocopier on this floor was still inoperable and the other had a line of people waiting to use it. Considering one of the other instructors had been there since 6:45am making copies, I knew that time was not on my side. The result of this was my inability to copy the syllabus or the project one guidelines for my 8:00am class. This is usual for the first week of classes, so I moved the said documents to a public folder for students to print off and read at will. No big deal. At 7:50am the head of the graphic design department bounces in the faculty work room and informs me that due to a shortage of lab space, I will now have to share the room with not 1, but 2 other classes. "Fortunately" (his words) the classes are small, the other 2 are taught by the same instructor, and they are studio and independent work classes so they won't interfere with lectures. Well, I discussed the sharing arrangements with the other instructor and we have it worked out. She will take one side of the room I will have the other. As I'm making the final preparations for the class, at 7:58am, the same head of the graphic design department comes in to let me know that the software that I need to use for this 8:00am class is not installed in the lab as of yet. It is "Priority 1" when the Mac tech gets in for the day. Well isn't that special. So all in all myself and my students got up early, fought traffic, to NOT be able to do anything. There were no other labs to go into. No way for me to do my lecture. No pre-production that could be done because that software is missing it's license in that room as well. Nothing. I could have stayed in bed.

11:39 PM |

SIMPLE ANIMATION example for class

This isn't the greatest but it's an animation done in the last 5 hours, (if I had a faster comp and a real mouse it wouldn't have taken as long). It uses the instrumental of The Diplomat's Dipset Anthem. I'm working on my own project that, if it comes out right, is going to be a lot more interesting.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Shut Up And Drive (again)

12:35 AM |

....what lies in the mind of a road rager

If you are un-aware, I hate non-drivers. My initial rant began out loud last year...
"To all those stupid bitches who decide they like to drive side by side on all three lanes. When did the speed limit on the freeway change to 45? Who made the rule that the left lane is the cruise lane? All you mutha fuckers who don't have a job to go to stay the hell off the road between the hours of 7 to 830 and 3 to 630. You got no where to go so why the hell you gotta get to nowhere early as shit. Sleep in bitches. FYI the lane that merges on to the highway is called the ACCELERATION LANE!! Which means excellerate you non driving assholes not slam on breaks! And what could I possibly have on the front of my car that makes it ok for you to turn out infront of me. If there's no one behind me WAIT a few more seconds. GRACIOUS!"

I expanded my rant in Road Rage 2.0. And tonight (this morning) I have come across a lovely poem by Poetri done on HBO's Def Poetry. Please. Enjoy.

2:43 PM |


12:58 AM |

....the return of The Boondocks!

Set those DVR's, TIVO's, VCR's, and alarm clocks, Adult Swim's controversial animated series is back. The premiere for Season 2 will air October 8 at 11:30pm on the Cartoon Network. Visit the official site for The Boondocks. The interface is amazing and you can catch a trailer and a sneak peak of one of the episodes. If the peak is any indicator, the show previews to be just as raw, poignant and hilarious as last season.