An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Say Something

1:00 PM |

Telling your girl about her man...


So you have some information about your friend's man.  Maybe he's got another girl on the side.  Maybe he's talking bad about her in public.  Maybe you had a one time fling with him long before they got together.  Maybe you had a fling with him while they were together not knowing they were a  couple. Wether it's an opinion or information, you have something that you know about her man that she does not. What do you do?  Do you tell? Or do you keep your mouth shut?

It is entirely possible for you to decide not to get involved.  If things seem to be going good for her and her man, then why rock the boat. She seems happy. Saying anything could make you just seem like a hater. It could be taken in completely the wrong context and she could totally get mad at you for something that's not entirely your fault or your problem.  So while it may be important for you to be a good friend and be totally honest, saying anything to her might do more harm than good.

On the other hand, if information comes out later and it is discovered that you knew the entire time, you could still be in hot water.  If you do have some secret about her man, he could use that against you- blackmail. He could make your role in anything seem more deceptive and dirty than it actually was. She'll feel like you were lying to her.  She could think you were allowing her to be played for a fool.  Friends are supposed to look out for one another right? How could you do that to her?

In my opinion, the latter is worse than the former.  I would much rather be as up front and as honest with my friends as I need to be.  I refuse to have anything out there that could potentially be used against me.  And I most certainly do not want to be perceived as a liar by my good friends. If you were indeed my friends, then you would know that I would never say or do anything to intentionally hurt.  I would always have your best interest at heart and nothing I would say would be me being a hater.  And if I was being a hater, I'd tell you.  I've done it before.  I would hope my friend would know me better and that if I ever had information that I really needed to share with my friend that they would take it as it were intended.

So in the end, I say: Say something.  It's better to deal with the repercussions now than let something that didn't need to build up explode on you and your friendship later.



2 comments:

♥LoVe.Peace.Curls.♥ said...

I agree, I'd rather be upfront as well. If we're friends, I'm rolling with the assumption that we'll be friends whether your man remains in the picture or not. So for the preservation of our own trust in each other, I'll take you being temporarily upset with me over you thinking I'm deceptive and never speaking to me again. And I would expect the same courtesy...

Miss_A said...

Right LoVe.Peace.Curls? I was here before him and plan to be there during and after. And you're right about the trust, that's what makes friendships truly strong. Which is why I think if we don't say something and it comes out later that we knew, it's like 10 times worse than it would have been if we just spoke up. We've destroyed that trust.

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