An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Red Flags

7:30 AM |

A change probably won't come...

Fellas, we all know that you are willing to put up with more ugly insides if a girl has pretty outsides. It is just what it is.  However, there are a lot of you that allow those pretty outsides to override all of your common sense and lead you into making terrible decisions that affect you (and eventually every girl you'll date after her) in the long run. I'm starting to see it more and more and I'm just so tired of watching good guys get ruined.  It's time to stop ignoring the obvious and get real. So I decided to start topic just for you. The first red flag I want to address....

If she annoys you now, she'll piss you off later

For some reason, you guys think that as a relationship progresses (through serious relationships or marriage) that the things that she did/does that causes friction or that you don't like while you're dating will some how magically disappear when you make a serious commitment to her. Like some how that ring or whatever will make your relationship suck less. Like it'll magically erase all the problems you had while you're dating. More times than not, those small things and annoyances become huge problems down the line.

You know how there's that saying that men will change for the person that they're willing to change for. Well women will change only if and when they feel like it. ONLY. If she doesn't feel like she's in the wrong, she won't change.  If she doesn't feel that her actions are detrimental to the development of the relationship, she won't change. If she doesn't feel that your feelings are important enough to her to change her ways (in a normal relationship give-and-take scenario), she won't change. If she doesn't feel like she contributes to the problems in the relationship, she won't change. And there's probably not a whole lot you can do about that.

Before you give your heart to a girl who may not be worthy of carrying it, really take some time to look at the things she does that bother you now. Look at the things she's not offering you now (emotionally, spiritually, physically). Look at what she values, how she treats other people, how she treats you. Look at her ambitions, her drive, her goals and ask yourself if this is something you can tolerate in the long run - no really think now----NO really think! If you decide to proceed with her, you're deciding to live with those things. Period. If you're not happy now, with things being the way they are, how do you expect to be happy later? Can you live with that? Should you have to live with that?

Dating for a change doesn't typically work. So the same relationship advice they give to women, I'll give to you: Never enter a relationship with the intent to change a person or believing (or hoping) things will get better. You have to take her as she is, just as she'll have to take you as you are.




3 comments:

Carol King said...

Couldn't agree with you more. I had this exact same conversation with a friend of a friend and do you know what his response was? Your only saying all that because your jealous that the pretty girls get all the men. I told him I felt very sorry for him and walked away. Some guys just won't ever get it, shame.

Miss_A said...

Wait...wait...WHAT? What kind of response is that? You're right. Some guys will never get it. All we can do is call it like it is. At least it was said. What he does with it is his decision and ultimately his problem. But I know one thing, after that response, we'd never be talking about his relationships again.

LaTiea Lewis said...

Love love it!!!

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