Why some good men fall...
I was reading an amazing book by Alease Michelle McClenningham called Greatness is in the Comeback. This book is all about rediscovering your purpose and developing an action plan to help move you into fulfilling that purpose. (A total generalized summary, but pick up the book, it's a good one). Anyway, in the book she says that sometimes the reason people get distracted or can't focus on what they're supposed to be doing is because they have Shiny Object Syndrome: bouncing from one big idea, task, event, to the next without spending dedicated time to developing an idea to its full potential. (Or something like that - haven't finished the book yet - but none the less follow me here).
While I was pondering, wondering, being baffled by, some of the bad relationship/partner decisions some people make, it brought me back to this idea of the Shiny Object Syndrome. Essentially, how people use this as a distraction, hiding what is true and real about themselves, how seemingly good people end up with the wrong partner, and how good people can get 'caught up' in a bad situation.
I think men are the largest sufferers from this syndrome. Think of all the bs men will put up with from a woman if she's 'shiny'. In other words, if the woman is what he considers beautiful (shiny), they'll put up with more crazy, more lying, more drama. They'll excuse her shortcomings (she's stupid, got too many kids by too many different guys, she can't cook, she can't clean, totally plastic - she can't really do anything but be cute).
Now, the women who have all these shortcomings know this. They know that men are visual and use this to their advantage. Therefore, they spend the most time shining themselves up. They weave it out, push it up, slather it on, trend it, spend it, until they are what most men find attractive. Unfortunately for most women who use this to secure a man, the syndrome will leave them high and dry once a new shinier object crosses that man's path. Remember, these women have no substance, so there's nothing to keep that man from following the next shiny object. Even if she manages to 'trap' him. (And you all know what I mean by 'trap').
This syndrome is also the power weapon of the predatory chic. She uses it to her advantage to lure good guys away from doing what they know is right with their big head, towards what the little head thinks it wants. The predatory chic knows that with just the right combination of shiny, lowered inhibitions, and temptation, she can lure any good guy into her trap. Thereby being part of the reason why good men can get caught up in cheating situations. Which is why I encourage guys NOT to put themselves into the situation in the first place. But we'll discuss the predatory chic at a later date.
Shiny Object Syndrome is real people. Distractions are a part of life. But there should always come a point where we start focusing on what is truly good for us, and what we need, not only what we want. Ask yourself: Do you want to be in a serious relationship? What do you really and truly want and need from a partner? Is this person you are spending all this time with actually meeting your qualifications? What are your qualifications? We have to make sure we stay focused on what it is we are truly out here looking for. With just a little bit of effort and careful risk-management, anyone can overcome the Shiny Object Syndrome.
