An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

2:04 AM |

...finally a working phone

As stated in a previous entry, I've been having issues with my phone. So I've traded in my Cingular 8125 for the iPhone. I've only had it for a few hours, but so far I am very impressed with the interface, graphics, and ease of use. I have been waiting for a phone that will sync to my Mac. Now I can fully enjoy the smart phone experience. The good thing too is they had a data plan that is the same price as the plan I had with my previous phone. So I shouldn't see a massive increase, in theory. The fact that it works off the Edge network concerns me. You know how those cell phone companies do with the fees. I also am not a fan of the preset ring tones. Perhaps I'll find it in my heart to pay for a ring tone. It would be advantageous of them to allow users to set a song from their music library as their tone. But we all know they're going to squeeze the last dollar out of us. Eventually I'll transfer all my old contacts to my phone. (If that thing can stay on for more than 20 min at a time). And I'll be good to go! Being one that usually has HORRIBLE buyer's remorse, I feel really good about this purchase. See me in a month we'll see how happy I stay.

5:16 PM |


5:31 PM |

...tryin to make a dollar out of 50 cent

During my excursion home, I got a chance to get my ears on the official I Get Money Remix. 50 got together the men that made up the Forbes Hip Hop Cash Kings list with their earnings from 2006: Jay-Z and P. Diddy to create the Billion Dollar Remix. Needless to say I was thoroughly disappointed. If ever there was a chance for men to be extra braggy about the things they got, can get, and have, this was it. I was looking forward to the cockiness, and male bravado that the song warranted. What I got was washed out lyrics and botched attempts at grandeur. 50 came with a decent verse, however he could have just copied and pasted in the first verse of the original instead and he would have added a few points to the quality of the song. I wasn't expecting much from Diddy. Diddy is cockier in his silence than he was on this track. He also better be thankful for double jeopardy as he confessed to committing the shooting that landed Shyne in jail and almost destroyed Jennifer Lopez's career. "Shoot-outs, costal beefs, yeah Diddy did it. But my lawyers so good that Diddy got acquitted." Way to look like an a$$ there Mr. Combs. Jay by far came off the saddest, spitting lyrics that stated his checks may bounce and sounding like Beyonce's b!%@#. Sound harsh? Sorry.

I've read some articles that really praise the track. Honestly, stop lying to yourself. I know how you feel. I wanted this track to be fire, but it just wasn't. Don't mis-read my interpretation of the situation as me hating. Perhaps repeated listening will help change my opinion. I have much respect for each of these gentlemen. But if you're going to do it, do it right.

..Judge for yourself...

11:38 AM |


This is how I feel today. To complain about a work schedule may seem pointless to you, but when you have been planning around something different for the last month, it begins to become a huge deal. I've been the nice one. I've done whatever the department heads have asked of me. However when I am once again teaching an overload for the quarter, I respectfully asked if I could have one class over another. Meaning that instead of teaching from 6-10 on Monday night and coming in to teach 8-5 Tuesday, they could schedule me for an afternoon Friday class or something else to fit with the bulk of the classes I'm teaching. It's not so much that I have to teach the course. (Mind you I'm not even in his department...they get confused because I've taught so many of their classes. So in all trueness he's supposed to be planning around my other department's schedule. Which he did not.) It's the fact that I sat down with the head of the department and we had at least an hour discussion and came to the conclusion that I would take over an unfilled Friday afternoon class. We discussed the requirements for the class. He told me where I could get all of the information for that class. He even wrote it down on one of the many schedules he had. But alas, to my dismay I come to find out that I still have the night class. Nothing has changed and he has no recollection of the conversation we had. The president of the school does not want any teacher teaching more than 5 classes (I have 6). He also doesn't want anyone to teach from 6-10 and then 8am the next morning. I have done that for every quarter I've been at that school. Sometimes at least 3 days a week. I've just come off an awful schedule, and once again I'm back on another. If you're not a teacher you don't understand what this feels like. Most people look at a teachers schedule, especially a college teacher, and figure that we have so much time off. But when you take into account the planning (the school figures in about 2 hours or so for planning..I have 4 preps), the grading (it takes me anywhere from 3-6 hours to grade one class project depending on the size), the mandatory office hours (another 1-2 hours you are supposed to be available for your students per class), the mandatory committee you have to serve on as a full-time instructor, mandatory faculty meetings, mandatory "training" sessions, all the administrative paper work we are required to do, not to mention the countless questions via email you get after you leave class daily from your stupid students you are left with ZERO time to breathe. So I'm not really writing for understanding because unless you're in it you don't get it. I'm venting cause I know I can't do it anywhere else. Maybe by Monday I'll feel like painting back on that big red smile and doing my jigg for them again. Dance....

10:23 PM |


1:07 AM |


8:04 PM |

...the joys of getting dressed

1. Some petite pants are too long. Other petitie pants are too short.
There was a time when the petite pants in my size were about 1" too short. Thus, when my darling mother bought me clothes, I was treading through the high waters. Today, either the height range for petites has increased or I am shrinking because those very same pants are now about 3" too long.

2. Regulars are about 5" too long.
No one likes the "mother sewn, thread doesn't quite match rolled up hem" on the bottom of their pants. It either scrapes the ground or the home made hem slowly unravels in the wash.

3. Waists don't fit the waist.
To get pants that go over the butt, the waist ends up being too large leaving that well known gap between the back of the pants and my actual back. If you were to tighten a belt to make the gap smaller you end up with bunching. Bunching is not cute.

4. The size that fits the wast doesn't fit the butt and thigh.
So you search and search and finally find pants that don't leave the gap in the back. But, woe, they are so tight around your thighs and butt that even the thong you wear shows panty lines.

5. High rise waist are not an option, mid-rise are uncomfortable, low rise shows the crack.
High waist done wrong = mom jeans. Mid-rise can sometimes sit right on the fat roll. And Crack is wack.

So...screw it, I'll just wear a skirt.

1:44 AM |

12:20 AM |


I am just hearing about this and the only reason I found out about it, was because I was surfing blogs. Right here in my own state the NAACP has been holding rallies for
James Johnson (a Black man). He was arrested in 2004 for robbery, rape and murder of a 17 year old Brittany Willis (a White woman). He was arrested with Kenneth Meeks, who confesses to committing the crime solo in 2006. Though there are no facts or evidence linking Mr. Johnson to the crime, he has spent the past 3 years in jail. The Jena 6 incident is not the first, only nor will it be the last of it's kind. Keep an eye on the local news in your community. We all (including myself) have to do better and staying abreast of what is going on in the world and begin to hold those that are wrong accountable for their actions...equally.

11:37 PM |

...please stop complaining about the cost of the iPhone

Since the release of this phone there has been a huge amount of complaining discussion about the cost of this phone. There seems to be some confusion. The iPhone is not a fancy version of an iPod. It's not a suped-up Mp3 player. It is a PDA phone. Think about it. All standard PDA phones have the same type of features that the iPhone is offering. And just like any phone you buy you will be required to have some type of cell phone contract. Even the sad little SmartPhone I got was around $400 when I bought it. Take the top 5 PDA phones according to C|Net:

Palm Treo 750 = $1042.97

Dopod 838 Pro =$962 - $962

Samsung BlackJack = $899.00

BlackBerry 8700 = $799.00

Nokia E61 = $749.00

With the current drop in price for the iPhone, there should no longer be a reason to cry about discuss the price of this phone. Those who bought early are getting a rebate. If you don't want to switch and pay the cost of a phone plan, then just get the new iPod touch. That's what most of you bandwagon jumpers wanted in iPhone for in the first place.

7:02 PM |

...the discussion rages on

The wonderful voice of the Black people (please read with sarcasm), BET is hosting a 3 part Town Hall Meeting discussing the current issues concerning the state of Hip-Hop. Of course the usual topics are slated to be discussed: the streets, snitching, police profiling and brutality; the images of Black women in hip-hop; and the embarrassment, pride and confusion Blacks feel over hip-hop's public airing of the community's "dirty laundry." It is to include opinons of Hip-Hop artists, journalists, filmmakers, former video vixens, music video directors and more. The first of the three parts series is scheduled to premiere on Tuesday, September 25 at 8:00 p.m. ET/PT. It is always interesting to hear opinions, especially of people that are in some form or fashion leaders of our community. (I'm not saying that anyone on this panel are leaders in my eyes, but sadly they are in some form representing the people). However well all know opinions are like........everybody's got one.

1:27 PM |

..from the perspective of the residents (media) of Jena

I think this is important for anyone who is discussing or supporting or not supporting this movement to read what the Jena Times have written regarding this incident. The site has a few articles in it. (If you are a design freak like me, be patient cause the site is crapy). The first, Officials Prepare for Rally, talks about the overwhelming police presence that will be in attendance to keep the citizens of Jena "safe". Business are closing. Schools are closing. SWAT will be present along with local and state police and sheriffs. The actual numbers are undisclosed. They also stated that because of the people traveling to Jena via buses and their own personal vehicles "The results will be a traffic nightmare that the citizens of Jena have never experienced." Really? Wow. She says under her breath. The overall tone of that article made it seem like they were preparing for the worst.

The second article discusses the charges of Michael Bell being overturned during the appeals process. It also discusses the others charged. While I would like to say that this article was an objective statement of the facts. There were tones in the writing by the author that didn't sit well. Primarily the last statement referring to a seventh student charged in connection with the incident. The author states "No information is available but sources say the seventh member of the group is another juvenile, making the Jena Seven - not the Jena Six." Sounds like a shot...was that a shot?....sounded like it. You be the judge.

The final article in the list on the front page of the Jena Times website is a Chronological recap of the events as reported in Jena. Apparently it is felt (by the author) that the national and global media has blown the incident out of proportion. They felt the need at each marker to state that no law enforcement officials were stating incidents were racially motivated. Referring to the hanging of the nooses as a "prank". Also, not racially motivated. It alludes to the fact that since the nooses were hung early and only a few students saw them, it was more or less not a big deal.

Those attending the rally please be careful. Those who are not able to be in attendance, wear black in support of the protesters on Thursday. Be informed. Be respectful. Be intelligent and articulate. Remember the reasons people are protesting and represent Black properly. Remember that the police don't really need a reason to arrest/detain you. Remember you are in the deep south and as much as you would like to forget, this incident has shown the world that things are still not equal. Please keep this demonstration peaceful, productive, and intelligent. My thoughts and best wishes are with you all.


12:16 AM |

...this is art school damn it!

If I hear one more student tell me the reason they haven't been able to do their homework all quarter because they didn't have the book because they're too broke to buy it I'm going to drop kick them. This is art school damn it. There are going to be expenses. Hell, EVERY school has books. It's not an anomaly! School = Books. These are the same students that carry their Louis and Coach bags, drive their friends around in their brand new $45,000 cars (only to arrive late to school every day), and slow pimp it down the hall so their S. Carter jeans don't hit the floor. I bet if they needed to get to the mall and they had no car they'd figure out a way to get there. They can figure out how to bootleg programs, crack the security to get around the myspace block, but their dumb asses can't borrow a fucking book??? There are at least 3-4 sections of the class being taught at the same time. You mean to tell me in a school with less than 5,000 students (I almost dare to say less than 2,000 but that's neither here nor there), you can't find one other person you can borrow the book from? Perhaps the chic that sits beside you EVERY time the class meets and does her homework from that very same book before and after each class. A thought?? I've even given you the chapters that correspond to the book from last year. You mean to tell me you can't borrow one of those either???? I promise you one more person come to me with an "I can't afford a $5 print card to print my project I don't have money for a Flash drive and the computer got erased so I don't have my project and I don't have the book so I can't do my homework" story I'm coming out swinging like Ali! Rumble, young girl. Rumble!!!

11:06 PM |

...cause we don't read the newspaper!

It would be nice to see something on TV news other than CONSTANT coverage of this OJ bullshyt. Why not cover stuff that really matters? Like..

Six West Virginia residents have been charged with kidnapping, torturing and sexually assaulting a Charleston woman for at least a week. The woman was only 23 years old and because she was black and her torturers were white, the FBI plans to investigate it as a possible hate crime. Thanks to brooklynsarah for telling me about this one.

As far as the Jena 6 case in LA, the judge has thrown out the charges on Michael Bell. He was supposed to face sentencing September 20. The rally scheduled for this date is still scheduled to go on as planned. The other 5 are still facing charges. Two of the six will also face reduced charges. But the other three still face attempted murder charges. The has created a petition to force the Governor of Louisiana to intervene. It also calls for an investigation into the conduct of District Attorney Reed Walters.

Perhaps the reason real news isn't on TV is because that would begin to make people accountable for their actions. It would cause actual mental stimulation that may make people begin to develop informed opinions. Maybe I need to start to read the newspapers, digging deeper into the blogs and web news. Maybe I won't. I don't need any further confirmation that stupidity is at pandemic proportions. Daily life is infuriating enough.

Student Tasered

4:44 PM |

Watch the video.

Was the reaction by security justified? After the mic was turned off, would the student have sat down on his own? Did security escalate the situation? What was he being arrested for? Was he that belligerent that he needed to be tasered? He wasn't overtly rude or disrespectful when he presented his question. I believe the right to free speech is getting so obviously trampled on these days and if anyone even hints that they are going to say something contrary to the agenda of the current administration, they are silenced (unless they are the media). Everything is spinning out of control. America has never been perfect, nor has it ever been just, but this is extreme. If the people of this country don't start speaking up, we will lose all our rights.

1:34 PM |

...Road Rage Rant 2.0

Everyday I want to have the powers like Jim Carey did in Bruce Almighty and just direct the cars on the road to get out of my way. So here are my issues today.

1. Shut up and drive
If you cannot multi-task then your ass doesn't need to be on your cell phone and drive. If holding the phone is the problem visit your local Wal-Mart and take your pick of the hands free ear pieces. If you can't work or don't understand how to work a hands free piece then you don't need a cell phone at all. That shyt is basic.

2. Move b!&@%...Get out the way.
If you're lost, pull over or get in the right lane. If you're out for a Sunday drive, get in the right lane. If you're not in a rush, get in the right lane. If you're not driving for a purpose, get the hell over. If there are two turning lanes, don't just fill up one so that the other is completely blocked off.'s not follow the leader!

3. Why does everyone wait until 10 min before 8 to decide to go to work???

4. I KNOW you see me!
I don't care how bad your eyes are you can see a person driving over 70mph barreling towards you. And you know what kind of speed you have in that piece of crap you are driving. If you have an option to pull out and get into another lane, then do so, just don't cut me off!!!!

5. McSimple
If you are in the drive through, and there are two boxes to order from, if one is off..i.e. the screen is's not on...pull up. Pay attention to the car in front. If they move. Easy!

And I'm sorry but I must address my SC people. How about you just stay off the road all together. It's obvious you don't know what you're doing.

11:52 PM |


8:00 PM |


Once again my phone is dead. Over the past week it has worked for 2 days and not worked for 2 days. Off and on it's been like this since last Sunday. My good ol Cingular 8125 will not turn on at all right now. I was already having issues with the battery barley making it through one 15 min phone conversation. Now it appears that it's just said f^@k you lady, I won't work at all. Apparently the battery issues is a problem with this phone. I've read other's blogs who complain of battery issues. I am way beyond my return period. So now I must find a way to shell out another couple hundred to get another phone because I am not in a position to renew my contract, so even if I get a regular phone I'll be paying a lot for it. I think I remember hearing that this phone was created for Cingular by Motorola. I am not totally sure, but if it is I will have to add that to the list of my dead Motorola phones. I have had 3 Motorola phones previously and they all craped out on me. I can promise this, they will not get me to get another phone by them, I don't care how much I may want it.

Sunday, September 16, 2007


8:58 PM |

Lately relationships have been the topic of discussion among my female friends. I don't know if it's the change in the weather or what, but that's what they ladies have been talking about. Other than my one homegirl, these conversations only make it even more obvious that I don't think like other females. But that's another conversation.

Today my homegirl (who we'll call WW) and I discussed a lot of things. And like most conversations I have with WW, I'm never really sure how we got there. She and I think alike. Mostly our discussion centered around attempting to answer questions about most people's thought process when they are in relationships. Here were most of our questions:

1. How do you marry someone after knowing them 6 months and have NONE of your closest friends really meet them?

We don't really have an answer to this one. There is no rule that says you have to date someone for a specific amount of time before you know you are ready to get married. Some date for years and are still not ready. Some date for a week and are married for eternity. What we have a problem with is: If this person is that close to you and is going to become one of (if not the most) important people in your life, why are you hiding them from the people closest to you? You may not think that you are, but you are. We believe that if you are that much in love you'll tell everyone. Not that you have to, but that person would come up in everyday conversation, you'd bring them with you to almost any event/get-together possible. Discuss them in ways that would lead someone to believe that you two were more than just another random hook-up. In a sense it won't be a secret or a surprise when you do get engaged. We may say "Wow that was quick." Not "Who is this person". Some may say that relationships are private and you don't have to tell everyone your business. We're not saying that you do. But if you and I are like "peas and carrots", then I should at least have an idea about how much you care for this person. In the end we just shake our heads and say as long as they're happy, we'll support them. To each his own.

2. How do you have your life depend so much on another person? So much so that once they're gone you have nothing; no friends, no interests, nothing.

This we will never understand. I personally believe that people are attracted to each other for the lives they are living at the time they meet. They are attracted to their personalities, their interests, their beliefs, etc. If you completely discard ALL that made you, you...what is left for your mate to be attracted to? The two of you come together and build your life together doesn't mean that you completely discard who you are. I've never understood how people can be like that. Maybe I'm just too independent.

3. Is there one soul mate or more than one? Are you destined to marry your soul mate?

WW stated that she believes there are more than just one soul mate for everyone. Another of my girls stated that there's not necessarily a person that's your soul mate, more so than a type that's your soul mate. I'm still not sold on this soul mate thing. I think I'm closer to it being a perfect/good match. I don't think you always marry your soul mate. They may not be the one's you are supposed to be with. It'd be a lovely fairy tale if everyone did marry their soul mate. But we all know that's not the case. They may grow to be your soul mate in the long run. They may not. Doesn't mean that your relationship is any less perfect for you. I believe the one you are destined to be with is the one that is at point A at the same time you are and are looking to move to point B, C and D at the same time. Doesn't make it any less romantic or magical. I don't think I explained it right, but I'm sure I'll have other chances to get into more detail about it later.

I'm sure there were other things discussed but I forget. I fade in and out. You know. I have focus issues. More thinking in type. Until the next installment......

6:06 PM |


Black Images In Media

5:14 PM |

So I'm looking over my RSS feeds on my page to see what the latest headlines are for today and I see an article called "Group To Protest Outside of CEO of BET's House to Demand End of Negative Images". All in all it is basically about a group going to protest over the commercialization and use of negative images of black men and women in the media. They say that people need to be aware of how influential the media is on the public and want them to be more responsible.

It is true that there is a lot of power in the media. It has shaped and molded the world in many ways. However, what people fail to understand is that nothing in advertising, promotions, etc, is done without some type of movement, trend, fad already existing in the population. They don't make the trends, they just broadcast them. There are scouts out a public schools, in malls, everywhere covertly polling the public for the latest trends, saying, etc. They look at what the people are doing to create their ads and reach their target market. Remember the goal of a lot of these media outlets is to reach as many people as they can. If what they are showing didn't appeal to a vast majority of the people, then they wouldn't waste their times putting it out there. Now this could very much so be a chicken and the egg type debate. Is it the media that makes us do what we do, or are they just a reflection of what is already going on? I don't really care at this point. I know marketing. I know that if the people were to stop buying, stop acting ignorant, put clothes on and show respect for themselves, the marketing execs would see this as a new emerging trend and more ads, videos, etc would begin to reflect what the people are doing.

I say that to say this. Instead of putting all of your energy trying to change how the media portrays black people, why not try and change how you are portraying yourself every day. If they see that what they are doing no longer reaches the people they are targeting, they will have to change their methods. In the end it's all about money. You want to affect change, you find away to affect their profit. Until then all this pointless protest is just that. Pointless.

2:26 PM |


10:31 PM |

..Too Long For A Random Thought

Is there? This question presented itself in a song on a tv show I was watching today. Some may quickly answer yes. I think we all would like to believe that everyone has a soul mate. That there is that one person out there that will match you completely. How are you supposed to find that 'one' person? The worlds population right now is 6,602,224,175. In the US it is 301,139,947. Amongst a vast array of people I'm supposed to believe that there is that one perfect one? I'm not sure.

I don't think a lot of people will find their soul mate because most don't know their souls. So many people these days try and find someone to complete them. Trying to find one person to cement over the holes they have in their life. By doing so, they often end up trying to make that person be what they 'need' them to be instead of looking at their partner for who they actually are. You can't expect someone to make you whole.

Others I think just settle for what they have right now because they are too caught up in the societal constraints put on love and relationships. The world tells you marriage is supposed to happen at a specific time. Children happen at another time. If you are not on that path in the time assigned by society you feel like you have missed something. Or you worry that you are getting too old so you have to go ahead and take what's in front of you right now. Settling and compromising are two different things. I don't feel you should ever have to settle and if you are compromising on the things that you want in your relationship, it's on small things like he may wear Curve when the man you envisioned to marry would wear Hugo Boss.

In summary, with the vast population I am unsure that there will be a soul mate to be found, or that will find me. But I'm not going to be looking for anyone to fill holes in my life. Nor will I be settling. Hopefully I'll meet that person with whom I can build an empire with. So what was the point of all this. I guess there isn't any. I was just thinking in type.

9:01 PM |

The final bullet to the proverbial head of Hip-Hop

This is a show that has managed to sneak in semi-under the radar. MTV has decided to take a little of Dancing With The Stars and mix it with American Idol and baked up a show called "Celebrity Rap Superstar". This is where they pair up a psudo-celebrity with a Hip-Hop artist and they are to perform songs weekly for a live audience. The audience then votes and the one with the lowest votes goes home. You know how it goes.

The psudo-celebrities include: blogarazzi Perez Hilton, Hef's own Kendra Wilkinson, rocker Sebastian Bach, Laguna Beach/The Hills rhythmically challenged Jason Wahler, K-Fed's baby-mama Shar Jackson, actress Countess Vaughn, actor Efren Ramirez, and former NFL star Jamal Anderson. Fabulous line up right? (Read with sarcasm). Well the sad thing is, they are paired up with some legitimate Hip-Hop artists. Jamal Anderson was paired up with Redman (they were the first to go). MC Lyte is working with Shar Jackson. The others include Warren G, Too Short, Bubba Sparxxx, Tone Loc, Bizarre from D12.

People what are you doing???? Why did you guys allow yourselves to participate in this minstrel show? I know that many are happy (including myself at times) about the commercial success and acclaim Hip-Hop has managed to gain over the years. However it's the same commercialization of the music that is killing it. (I would discuss that topic more ....but perhaps another time). This show is a joke. I am so saddened to see artist I hold substantial respect for allow their stock to fall by participating in this 'show'. I just hope that very few people watch this show so the execs at MTV have no reason to bring it back for another season.

Sunday, September 2, 2007


1:15 AM |

Two for One


Saturday, September 1, 2007


2:49 AM | my mu%#@ fu@&ing self. I can't believe another year has come and gone. Much love to Mr. Stark (to whom I owe credit for inadvertently inspiring my character style....and believe he will not let me forget it ) for being the first to wish me a Happy Birthday today!

I thought for a minute about if I was going to wish myself a Happy Birthday and I decided that I would. My main reason being is that two years ago on the day of my birthday, I really didn't get any love. I didn't get any well wishes until about 9pm that day. And by then I had been sitting at home. Alone. All damn day. No one took me out. No one even really asked if I had done anything or wanted to do anything. Do you know how bad that feels? From that point on I decided to make it a good day for myself regardless of who may or may not wish me well. That doesn't mean that it's not whole heartily appreciated and wanted. I just had to be happy I was alive myself. After that, my next birthday was a really great one. I'm hoping this year will be another good one.

Every birthday is a time for me to reflect. This year was a rather uneventful one. It had it's ups and downs. But all in all, I'm happy that I am making it. I'm no where close to where I thought I'd be at this age. There's a lot in my life I have yet to do. A lot of things I need to work on. A lot of personal goals I need to still accomplish. But I'm a lot further than where I was 3 years ago. And in a much better place physically and emotionally. I have evolved so much over the years and I'm starting to like who I am again. I am a much more positive person these days. (Which is MAD hard and exhausting to be. Not really in my nature.) Being positive doesn't mean being unrealistic. I've learned that. I still work entirely too hard, but I'm trying to learn how to have fun too. And I've surrounded myself with people who are truly down for me and inspire me everyday to be better. And that I will never take for granted.

Now will someone PHULEESE get me an iPhone??? That's all I want. Go half?? Whaddya say?