An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Monday, January 31, 2011

Moment of Simple

"There's a name for people who talk to themselves... they call them homeless"

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Not A Good Look

1:00 PM |

Man giggles...

So you guys should know by now that I'm not a fan of men that display too many female characteristics (not the superficial stuff like man-scaping...but more like the cattiness, the bitterness, the whining, the unexplainable, highly unnecessary emotional outbursts coupled with excessive crying). But another thing that is just tragic is man giggles.

First and foremost we all know that anytime you have a gaggle of guys clustered together cackling away, there is a 95-98% chance that the source of the hilarity is highly inappropriate. (We know how you guys like to yuck it up to fart jokes and nut punches - remember all those men laughing as they taped their boys reaction to watching 2 girls, 1 cup - yea...**shudder**). So the turn off factor is there a bit already. You just cannot add to your 'not-smashable rating' by sounding like 13 year old girls.

Man laughter is great. (A lot of men laughing is a bit suspect). But man giggles... like literal giggles... is not cute. You can laugh loud, under your breath, chuckle, laugh normally, ki-ki-ki in a corner somewhere, that's fine. But it should not sound like I'm listening to a bunch of tween-age girls looking through Cosmo Girl Magazine squealing over Orlando Bloom or something. I mean really, it's just not a good look.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

What Happens at 4am?

11:18 PM |

Calm down, it's not that kind of party...

Sometimes, I actually do create some things. I read something around 1am last night or so that got me to try and create these on the fly. Thought I'd break up the ranting & bashing, with some randomness. The task was to create a minimalist - esque - style poster for a movie, book, etc. I wasn't sleepy so I tried it out. Gotta try and get the creative spark back somehow.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Acting Right

10:00 AM |

Door etiquette....

While this discussion of door etiquette is going to primarily directed at the men, I will say a few words to the women. If you want a man to be courteous to you, you need to be courteous back. I've talked with Professor Locs about this subject from time to time and he will be quick to let you know that 'this is not the Ritz and he is not a bellhop'. Be a gracious receiver of this and other courtesies, with appropriate thank you's following polite gestures. You can't expect a man to treat you as a gentleman should if you will not at least attempt to behave as lady should. Remember, he doesn't have to do these things for you - it's not like it's a requirement. And while this may seem a bit out-dated, there is something to be said for a man who observes some of these often of forgotten displays of politeness.

SO GENTLEMEN: If you are entering a room, or building at the same time or preceding a woman or group of women, it would be very polite of you to hold the door for her (them). If the door opens inward, step to the side (as to not block the entry) to allow for the woman (women) to pass by easily. If the door opens outward, do the same. (And it helps if you don't look pissed about it too.) When the woman is responding to your politeness by saying 'thank you' you can at least respond. 'Your welcome', 'Sure', 'No problem'....something....anything is better than a blank, lifeless stare.

If you are walking with a mixed group and one of the guys in the group decides to hold the door, men should let all of the women in the party enter first. They can then decide how the rest of the party should proceed to enter. Either with a 'go ahead, I got it' or whatever floats your boat. I personally believe that the individual who was so nice to hold the door for the ladies, should enter next, with the rest of the men in the party following after. (But that's just me.)

If the person you are with (be it your home girl or your girl-girl) asks you not to hold the door for her then respect her wishes. No biggie.

There's some question about how far away a person has to be behind you for you to hold the door for them. I think the general rule is about 4 feet. However I think it's up to you. If they seem far away then go on about your business. If they are close it's a nice gesture to offer. They can then either speed up to meet you or they should say 'it's ok, I got it, thank you' to let you know to go on ahead. (And if someone is holding the door for you, you really should speed up and not just leave them standing there waiting.)

Gentleman to gentleman and woman to woman, you should hold the door for each other. Not necessarily in 'the open the door to let the other pass' scenario. But more so in the, 'don't let the heavy door slam down on another person' scenario. Hold the door until the person behind you touches the handle. It's ok to double check and look behind you to be sure they've got it. If you are the one following you should touch the door and hold it for yourself, saying thank you to the person who has preceded you. Don't just expect them to hold the door for you. (I mean who are you really?)

All youth should hold the door for their elders. That's just respect. Period. This one is gender neutral.

It would also be a nice gesture for you to hold the door for someone you see with a lot of items in their hands, a heavy bag, etc.

If you do, do this for a woman and she has been rude or un-lady like about it, don't jump down her throat. It could be that she's just hateful. Or it could be she did say thank you and you just didn't hear it. Whatever the case, remember you do this because it's the polite thing to do, not to win any awards. Know that you've something nice for someone and that's really all that matters. Let it slide and don't let one or two (or 20) rude females stop you from being courteous.

Besides...someone will address their rudeness at another time ;)

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Why Are Black Women So Angry?

11:00 AM |

Some thoughts on the question...

I always get annoyed when I hear Black men say they can't deal with a Black woman because she's always so angry. As if many of us don't have the right to get angry from time to time. I mean, a Black man can be angry because of course he has it hard in life. Racial profiling, unlawful arrests, oppression, unfair hiring practices, stereotyping, etc. It's hard out there for a brother.

But brother have you forgotten that while your bodies were being broken down by labor, whips and chains our bodies were being ravaged and destroyed from the inside out? Have you forgotten who was with you on those picket lines, at those lunch counters and marching at your side? Have you forgotten who was left in charge running the home when you were unjustly taken away? Have you forgotten who holds you down when you're broken down by the system? Have you forgotten how much we've loved you flaws and all when you've sometimes treated us like shit?

And we're not supposed to be mad when you disown us, disrespect us and disavow your children or anything and everything we've done or been to you. Bitch please.

No one questions why you're so angry. How dare you even open up your mouths to ask us why we're so angry. We've been through what you've been through and had do to it all with bearing the responsibilities of being a woman. We acknowledge your struggle, so don't disvalue ours.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Random Thought

11:00 AM |

Monday, January 24, 2011

Moment of Simple

11:00 AM |

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Not A Good Look

10:20 AM |

The call then text then call again...

Look. If you call someone and they do not pick up, it does not give you cart blanche to being to text, IM, call again, text again (lather, rinse and repeat). Unless it is an emergency, I seriously doubt your entire world will crumble to pieces if you don't talk to them this very instant.

Just because someone does not pick up doesn't mean they are avoiding you. It doesn't mean they are mad at you. It doesn't mean they don't like you. It doesn't mean you've done something wrong. It doesn't mean they're doing something wrong. They could simply be on the toilet.

While it's not a good look on either gender, it's a really bad look when it's coming from a guy. No woman wants to get it in with a guy that calls one time and then within 5 seconds of not getting an answer send a text to say 'oh what you're avoiding me now?' Really...really dude? That quite honestly just shows how deeply insecure you are and insecurity is a terrible look. You have now entered into the realm of being a bug-a-boo and while they may not have been avoiding you before, they probably will start avoiding you now.

And just because you call someone over and over and can't ever seem to get them on the phone doesn't necessarily mean they don't want to talk to you. One of my good friends I call all the time. If she could imbed her phone in her chest she probably would. But do you think I can get this girl on the phone when I call her. NOPE. Not often. But I know she's not mad at me. She'll just call me when she can.

And that's what most people will do. Call back when they are available or ready to talk. So be easy. Now if you call, and call and THEN never get a call back. should probably just stop calling.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Random Thought

11:00 AM |

Tuesday, January 18, 2011


11:30 AM |

Don't forget about the good...

I had a conversation with a friend a while back about having an honest self-critique. I find myself thinking today about how easy it is to be a cheerleader for other people in my life and how hard it is for me to be a cheerleader for myself. Quite often we can get in the habit of looking at our lives through a jaded lens. We compare what we thought we would be doing with what we should be doing. We look at what we have with what we're trying to attain. We're good at finding our own shortcomings and forget to acknowledge what we already have accomplished.

But if you are doing a real critique, you have to look at the good with the bad. Think back to critiques in school. While there could be quite a bit of time spent on what you didn't do or what sucks about what you did, there were points where someone (should have) recognized what you did do well. Take a look and what you were trying to do and give you some tips and advice on how to do it better. Build on your current skills so you can grow.

When we critique ourselves we have to remember to look at what we've done well. Acknowledge the good with the bad. Because recognizing one without the other is not giving ourselves a true view of where we are with respects to what we want. Every start point generates a different path to get to the end point. And you can't get to where you're trying to go if you don't know where you're starting from.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Thoughts on Dr. King's Birthday

1:26 PM |

"The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

In 2008, I reflected on Dr. King's dreams and the hope he had for not only his people but for this nation. This year my thought are....well.....let me just preface this thought (rant) with the statement. I completely understand how important it is for everyone to recognize and respect the man, the ideals, and importance behind this holiday. I acknowledge how important it is for our children to know why we celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday. That being said, let's talk about all this ranting and raving about our schools having to be open on this day because of all the crazy snow weather we had last week.

Nothing upset me more than to hear parents complain about their children having to go to school. Regardless of a holiday or not. I understand that this is a day that is meant to be used to honor the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. But let's get real. Most of these bandwagon-jumping, faux-protesting, parents are just complaining because it was supposed to be a day off and now it's not.

Many of these same parents out here hemming and hawing about how unacceptable it is that their children are made to use this holiday as a snow make up day are the same ones that don't teach their kids what this day is really about. It would be different if these parents were taking their kids to appropriate museums, talks, presentations or doing volunteer work. And unless you are doing so, you really aren't doing your kids any favors by keeping them out of school. But you know as well as I do most are just sitting at home watching TV and playing video games. Truth be told many of your ignorant ass kids need this day to be educated so they know who Dr. King was. (You for damn sure aren't teaching them). If it wasn't this day, they'd be taking days from your spring break and then you'd be marching, protesting and keeping your kids out then too (mad cause the school is ruining your vacation plans). And then you want to blame the schools and the teachers cause your kid is 18 and doesn't know how to spell 'apple' or that 'to', 'two' and 'too' have three totally different meanings.

The ONLY people I feel bad for are the teachers. Because now not only do they have to lose a day they use to be ready, regenerate and rest for the long hard battles they spend out there on the front lines trying to educate these disrespectful sons-of-bitches. They have to now deal with the trifling parents who want to get all up in arms and disrupt the school day.

This is a man who marched, fought, got arrested and died to help give YOUR children an opportunity to be educated. I'm sure Dr. King didn't expect his holiday to be used as a way for some shiftless Negros to be paid to be lazy.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Moment of Simple

10:18 AM |

Take the picture...

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Not A Good Look

3:24 PM |

Those leg-booty-shape-up shoes....

While I'm 'taking a break' from finishing up my last minute lesson planning I thought I'd go ahead and address this week's issue: those horribly chunky booty shaping shoes. When I first saw the commercial for them I Figured they'd disappear pretty quickly. However soon after there were more, from other companies and I It wasn't until I saw entirely too many people this past week with them on and I just must say something.

Please people, these shoes are not cute. Well let me rephrase. There is one brand out there that is too ugly. You've seen them. The ones with an entire Goodyear tire on the bottom. The Herman Monster shoe. Yea, you know them. Those should not be worn! There are plenty of other makes and models out there that promise to do the same thing without shouting to the whole world 'I'M TRYING TO MAKE MY BUTT LOOK CUTE!'

And really it kinda makes you seem a bit...I don't know...susceptible to the propaganda. I mean all products suck each of us in one way or another. But to me this just seems like another excuse for people not to really work out. I mean do you see them on those trim ladies walking trails? No you see them on the middle aged soccer mom's in the grocery store rocking their mom jeans and 80's perms. Granted the idea that you can build even more of a work out into your everyday routine is a good idea. And some of the other shoes are kinda cute. But please stop with the big uglies, cause those shoes are just not a good look.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Random Thought

5:08 PM |

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Forgive and Let Go

12:08 PM |

Or move on...

So your girl or your guy has messed up. Now what. You have a decision to make. Stay or go. If you leave then you're done with it. Dust your hands. It's done. If you stay there are two things that need to be taken into consideration.

The first is the guilty party has to remember that the trust that was once there is broken now. Therefore, you will have to adjust your behavior in such a way that it doesn't leave too much room for doubt or speculation. Meaning things you once did, you may not be able to do in the same way. You have to take special steps to start rebuilding that trust that was lost. You also have to realize that the trust may never be in the same shape as it was before. The road to feeling 'like it was before' is going to be a rough one. Full of cracks and pot holes. And as the guilty party it is your responsibility to get in there and lay down that tar and pavement.

The second thing is the responsibility of the one hurt. If you do decide to stay you have also decided to forgive. That means you have to truly forgive. If that other party has owned up to their mistake and you guys have decided to work it out then you have to really put forth the effort to work it out. You have to accept the fact that the transgression has happened and do your best move past it. If the guilty party is being good, take solace in that. And let go. You can't keep holding the mistake over their head.

Failure from either party to do what is necessary will lead to a mess of misunderstandings and constant fighting. Thereby demonstrating that neither party is interested in repairing the relationship. The scorned one only wants to punish. The guilty one only wants to test, tease and torture. And if that is the case what was the point of staying together?

Monday, January 3, 2011

Moment of Simple

10:13 AM |

What do women want???