An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Clean House

9:34 PM |

Cleaning house...

So the saying goes: some people are in your life for a reason, season or lifetime. If you are unfamiliar, let me paraphrase. The people in your life for a reason are there to aid you, support you, guide you through something. They are there to fulfill some type of need in your life. Once that need is met or you have over come your difficulty, the relationship will come to an end in some way. The people in your life for a season are there because it's your time to share, grow, or teach. They are there to introduce you to new things, make you laugh, and then they are too gone. Faster than those that are there for a reason sometimes. The relationships that are there for a lifetime are those building on solid emotional foundations. They teach you lessons that you apply to other relationships or aspects of your life. Those relationships linger and grow over time.

It is important to understand what role people play in your life. Some of us have relationships that should have ended a long time ago still hanging on. Either that person is hanging on or we don't just let go. I think it's important that when relationships go sour, we take time to figure out what role they were playing in our life to begin with, learn the lesson we were supposed to learn and let it go. Why make yourself miserable holding on to something you were never meant to have last? Sometimes you hold on to something old so long, you block something new and better from coming along.

At some point it's time to clean house. Get rid of people who need to go. Keep people who need to stay. How many people are hanging on in your life that need to go.....

Random Thought

1:47 AM |

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Moment of Simple

It's time for another Beany & Cecil Cartoon....

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Mirror, Mirror

12:32 AM |

Not the fairest, but at least fly...

As the years tick by, there are certain compromises that come along when looking for that mate. The mental list of requirements you may have start to be revised, prioritized, cut down. Often I get told that the guy for you may not come in the package you want. I get that. I'm not so shallow that I can't be open to the possibilities of being with someone that may not be my "type". And don't get me wrong, I'm not impressed solely by a pretty face. You have to have some business about yourself and we have to click on more than just the physical level. But lately it seems as if the ones that match my qualifications on the personality, education, insides, are no where close to what I like on the outside.

Let's just be honest. I want to be able to roll over in the morning, look at my man and say to myself that is one sexy man. I would hope that the man I was with would roll over in the morning and say the same thing when looking at me. Does the world has to say it. Nope (it's a bonus but no). But I have to feel some sort of attraction to you in order for our relationship to be more than just friends. I mean...wouldn't that be what separates being a couple from being just friends? So while the qualifications don't have to come in my ideal package, it has to be somewhere in those realms.

Don't roll your eyes and call me shallow. Be honest. The majority of relationships that were built from personality up were those that didn't start out as romantic relationships in the first place. You don't approach a guy or girl at a bar because you can see her personality from across the room. (No, you don't you lying bastard). Looks are what gets you over there, personality is what makes you stay.

I guess this is just a rant based out of my own frustrations but it has helped me realized that one of the priorities on my list is still being sexually attracted to my mate. Will I ever find it? Magic Eight Ball says, "Ask again later". I don't have to find my "dream" guy in terms of looks, but I do need something pretty close. Like my homegirl used to say "If I don't want you, I don't want you".

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


12:16 PM |

Sleeping with a broken heart...

How do you recover from falling for someone? Whether it's falling in love, like or infatuation, falling for someone can often hurt. When the dust clears and the flowers are dead and gone, how do you get over that person?

Is it easier when the feelings were mutual? Meaning, if you were in a relationship and it ends, is it easier to find a way to get over that person? Of course it's not easy, but perhaps there are more ways to cope with it. You have people to talk to and lean on. You have the knowledge that the other person is probably going through some of the same things you are. You have people who have been in your position before that can offer advice and help take your mind off of it. Even though you may feel like you are alone, you're not alone.

Is it harder when the feelings are your own to bear? Meaning, if you have a feelings for someone, a crush so to speak, and the other doesn't know, is it harder to get over them? I say yes it's harder. Why? Because you have no one who is sharing your same feelings. No one you can really talk to. More likely than not you are the only one who knows you had those feelings for that person. You're dealing with your feelings alone.

Either way recovery is a hard, tedious road for many people. Especially depending on the circumstances. So what do you do? Lay around in the dark and cry until you have no more tears? Distract yourself with work? Over compensate for your loss by jumping into bed with any and everyone? Pretend that the feelings never existed? What does it take to stop you from sleeping with a broken heart?

Friday, January 1, 2010

Reflections and Projections

1:35 AM |

Thoughts in a New Year...

Another year has come and gone. Time to resolve to improve. Time to forget and move on. Time to plan for greatness. Time to look back and reflect. Time to state promises. Time to clean out the closets.

I took a look back and what I resolved to to last year and I managed to do what I set out to do. For the most part. I still need to take better care of myself but that will always be an ongoing battle.

So what do I promise myself this year?

1. Be like Nike and Just Do It. I've made my plans. I've talked things out. Now it's just time to do it. No more talking. Just get to it.

2. Accept the things I cannot change. Typically I'm pretty good with this one. But there are still quite a few things I'd like to be different that I have no power over. While it will be hard to accept those things, I must do so in order to move forward.

3. Be better. Simple as that.

So as you make your promises to yourself like you always do, be realistic and optimistic. Remember you are making these promises to you and only you. Don't set expectations too high. You don't want to feel like a loser in December. Don't make your resolutions out of spite and anger. You'll be hateful all year. Don't sell yourself short. Challenge yourself and grow. You can do more that you probably think you can. And don't let yourself down. As always, may your new year be prosperous, safe and filled with people who love and care for you. Cheers!