An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Random Thought

11:45 PM |

I'm not jumping without a parachute...

Today I was having a discussion about yet another acquaintance who was tricked into having to move in with a woman because his other woman kicked him out. Without going into the idiocy of the entire situation, the long and short of it was he had to move in with her because he had "no other option". I say yet another acquaintance because this is something I'm seeing happen with surprisingly a lot of my male friends. They get into these "relationships" and when things go south they have no other choice but to jump into the next "relationship" with the woman that inevitably was part of the cause of the demise of the first one. In the end everyone ends up miserable.

I don't understand this whole "I have no choice thing". As a woman when you went on dates you were always told keep enough money on you to pay for your meal, a phone call and possibly transportation back home in the event that things went sour. That idea has always been ingrained in my being so that no matter what, I will always have an option. This way I'm never in a no choice situation. If I were to be living with a man and found myself having to get out in a hurry I know I had friends somewhere that would let me grab a couch somewhere. I'd get payday advance on my paycheck to try and get another place. I'd have some options.

As a man I don't understand not being able to stand on your own two feet. Not having a homeboy, a co-worker, a good friend somewhere that will allow you to crash with them until you get it together. A thought process or a way to support yourself if times get rough. You can't plan for everything, but that's one thing you should always be prepared for. We'd love to think love lasts forever and people won't turn on you, but we've seen even the longest relationships go up in flames. I'm just saying as a man, why wouldn't you want the pride of being able to not only take care of yourself but your woman. And I have a hard time believing that if you can't find a way to support yourself after getting kicked out that you were actually able to take care of your woman. But I digress.

If someone said "jump out of a plane with no parachute, but don't worry I'll be on the ground to catch you" would you jump? I didn't think so....

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Monsters In My Bedroom

10:50 PM |

Tossing out the bad energy...

Today, being that I had nothing better to do, I decided to go through all of my drawers and start getting rid of things I don't wear, can't fit and wouldn't wear even if I could fit them. As I'm going through these drawers I cam across so many items that I truly believe were giving my bedroom bad energy. Things I didn't even realize I still had. Those are those things I call monsters. Like the old stories that they used to tell kids, these monsters hide in dark places. Their only purpose is to cause you torment and unrest.

One of my monsters were all these clothes that don't fit. They do nothing but remind me that I'm not the size I used to be. While some pieces I found proved to be motivation for me to continue with my daily workouts, others were just reminders of a place and time I will never be able to recapture. It was beyond time to let that go, so in the Goodwill bag they finally went.

The other monster I had in my drawer were all these old T-shirts of ex'es. Many of us have those in there. Sometimes we don't even remember that they belonged to said person. But if you have T-shirts of your own and you have no feelings left for that person anymore, why are you holding on to their belongings? Some are from the school of thought that you should never get rid of your old man's clothes because your new man can wear them. I don't know about you but why would I want my new man in the clothes of the man I got rid of? I had plenty of my own T-shirts to wear to the gym and to bed so out they went.

I believe everything that surrounds you has energy. Some is good, some is bad and some is neutral. In spaces like your bedroom you need to have as much positive energy and neutral energy in there as possible. This way you can rest easy at night to have a better morning. Think that's just crazy? Every sleep article states specifically that you should keep all items related to work away from your bedroom. This way the bedroom is just a place for rest. It's supposed to help aid in the sleeping process. If that's true for work items, why isn't it true for other items? Even if we believe these items have no meaning or affect on us, subconciously they are affecting our being.

Monsters can be anything, and anywhere. Wether you know it or not you have some monsters somewhere in your house. Things that serve no purpose. Things that you truly don't need. Things that are enabling bad habits. Things that do nothing but depress you. What are you holding on to?

Friday, June 26, 2009

R.I.P. Michael Jackson 1958 - 2009

3:35 PM |

I had to, you all know why...

With soooo many options out there, I chose this one because I remember when this special first aired. We were too young to stay up and watch it so my parents recorded the Motown 25 special (on VHS Tape on our novel new VCR). My sisters and I tried so hard to Moonwalk with no avail. He was the only artist I remember stopping primetime television to premiere a music video. And his music videos were some of the first that inspired me to get into special effects because I was always wondering how they did that.

Even after his hayday he still had millions of people all over the world crying and passing out at the sight of him. He crossed boundaries of race, space, social status, age and time. Even the hardest thug on the corner will say that he likes Michael Jackson without hesitation. He was the master performer and entertainer long before Usher. He was the trendsetter long before Beyonce. He was the humanitarian before Angelina Jolie. He was pop culture before MTV. For many, he was his own genere of music and everyone since him has tried to be like him. No matter what he will always and forever be the King of Pop.

Good-bye, Michael...

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Word To The Wise

In respect to your new found wisdom...

On behalf of the single people out there who often find themselves on the other end of a "pep-talk" from those who have managed to find their "soul-mate", I would like to politely request that you keep it to yourself. I will admit, there are times when we do need to hear words of encouragement, but every statement made about our relationship status, a cute guy who is now off the market, or anything of the like is not your moment to tell us to hang in there.

Remember, not too long ago you, yourself were single like we are. You had your moments where you felt like you'd never find someone. You remember what it was like to date (or not date). It wasn't too long ago that we sat and shared stories about the bad boyfriends, sometimes feeling hopeless, and the likes. You too were irritated by those who had mates giving you advice. So don't sit on high and think that your words of encouragement are going to make us feel better, because truthfully it tends to come of more condescending than sincere.

Most of the time any statements we make are us just talking, releasing frustration, needing to be heard. If we have decided to confide our worries or concerns to you, then let us. As happy as we may be single, no one wants to walk through this life alone. So if the conversation does go from us playing around and making our normal general statements about relationship to something more serious, just hear us out. Remember what it was like when you were in our shoes. Don't try to placate us with canned catch phrases.

If we're going to get into the pure numbers of it all, 63% of all married couples claim to have met their match through their circle of friends. So instead of patting me on the back, get to networking. Oh wait, I forgot, now that you are in the coupledom, you only associate yourself with others in the coupledom. Way to help us out.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

1 Is Not Such A Loney Number

11:00 PM |

All about perspective...

So I'll admit over the last week or so I had been feeling kinda lonely. As you may have noticed from my Random Thought, I don't have many single friends left and after a weekend when the only 2 I had were gone, I was bored and a bit lonely. Good thing is I had a friend keep me company on IM Saturday (always seems to come through during those moments) so that help out bunches (thanks!).

But then after that I was made to realize why I am alone and why I was completely OK with that for the moment. So let's set up a series of events....

1. I text an old friend (who had an interest in me and I'll admit we flirted a bit) about a student of mine that may be working at his place of business. His texts migrate from conversations about said to student to his usual inappropriateness. (We used to call him sexual's what he does...doesn't even phase us too much). The convo's end with him telling me that when he was asked a question about what female has had the most impact on him physically, mentally, emotionally he mentioned me.....not his wife. Yes this fool since the time we stopped hanging out, has gotten married. (Note we did not hang out when he was married. Wanted to make that clear.) The convo ended with me saying that it should be your wife and that was that.

2. The next up to bat is the Ex. Now mind you, we've been broken up for about....3 years now. Tried this friendship thing. He always wants more than I can give him. Be it in the beginning trying to get back to the end of just me not being an "attentive" enough friend. Not enough phone calls or hang out time (whatever). So in April he decided he didn't like my kind of friendship and vowed he wasn't talking to me anymore....(done that before, has only lasted 3 months at the most...this will be silent treatment number 3). Well lo and behold who calls me. Yup. I didn't answer cause he's gotten a new number. He also proceeds to text me over the next 2 days. I don't respond. At this point I'm just tired of trying to the point I don't even care to see if it's different or not.

3. Another mf who apparently I inspired to get married to someone else. I call him Mr. Rogers. Proceeds to call me to try and come hang out. I told him no but he could come fix this electrical problem I got going on the the basement. (I really do need that fixed). Needless to say he proceeded to call me a Punk and that was that. WTF...

Let me reiterate, I don't get down with married men. I don't know what I've done to make them think that either. I personally think that men and women can be friends but man am I being proved wrong lately. But that's besides the point....

If I have to deal with that foolishness, I'd rather just be alone. And that and that alone, put my lonely weekend into perspective.

So thank you.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Random Thought

11:17 AM |

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Moment of Simple

8:31 PM |

My head is hard and my feet are cold....

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Trash Can (I Stand)

11:51 AM |

I stand and I wait.
I stand and I wait silently for you to notice me.
Need Me.
Only to be passed by as an insignificant fixture.
I turn and expose myself to you.
Awaiting your next move.
Wishing you'd come near enough to notice me.
Need me.

But yet you walk by.

So I stand.
And I wait.
I stand and I wait silently until the day that you approach with arms open wide.
My heard pounds louder and faster with each step you make
And when you are in focus and at arms length
I take every ounce of your refuge into me.
Allowing your excess to fill me up.
Making as much room as you need inside of me.
Just when I think I can't take anymore
You turn.
Without a second look
You turn.
And walk away.
Leaving me.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


11:58 AM |

Thoughts on Chris Brown...

So today my iTunes went past a Chris Brown song and it got me to thinking. I wasn't going to speak on the situation at all...clearly by my delay in writing this. But after hearing this song and remembering a comment made by a radio show host the other day, I just had to speak my peace.

In the land of second chances I find it funny that we are so quick to condemn Chris. We've forgiven people for much worse over the years but yet here we are giving Chris Brown hell. What a double standard. Are you saying that what he's done is worse than the others the media and the public has forgiven? R. Kelly is a pedophile. You all still dance to his music. You can give all the reason in the world you want (the girl didn't look young, she wanted to do it, blah blah blah) but the bottom line is..HE LIKES TO FUCK LITTLE GIRLS. But you all still make babies to his music. You have forgiven murderers, those who have witnessed murders and not spoken up, snitches...but not Chris.

Some say that, well the people we mention are not inspirations to young people. He was a role model.'ve forgiven Kobe and he's a rapist (I know the court acquitted him or whatever..blah blah blah...don't hit me with that shit). Last time I checked, basketball players were bigger role models to young men than R&B singers. But again, you've found reason and ways to explain away his actions.

Bottom line is Chris is a child. Yes...a child... you grown ass women lusting after a little boy. Being 18 only makes you grown in the eyes of the law. It doesn't actually mean you are grown mentally. Think about how much you have changed in the years since you turned 18. Think about all the things you've done that you wouldn't do today. Everyone makes mistakes. His mistake just happened to occur with America's current sweetheart. I think that it is only fair for the public to give him a chance just as you've done with all the other grown ass fuck ups.

This is not meant to say that what he did wasn't wrong. It was terrible, I've seen the photos. In general circumstances there is never a reason to pound on a woman. Period. I'm just saying be fair.....