An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Not A Good Look

9:58 AM |

Cover it girl....

I'm probably alone in this, but, fellas, unless you are doing a before and after photo for P90x, taking snap shots of yourself topless in the bathroom mirror is not a good look. Every time I see one of those I immediately hear the voice of Right Said Fred singing "I'm too sexy for my shirt..." and the photo looses any sex appeal it was supposed to convey.

So you're probably asking:

1. Well girls do it, so why is it so wrong for men to?
EXACTLY. Girls do it. Let's be honest. It's a part of being a girl, getting dressed up, spending hours in the bathroom to come out looking fabulous. So of course we're going to take pictures. Remember we are the master/inventor of the arm out self portrait. And let's be honest, sometimes no one can take a picture of us, like we can. This is one time the double standard works in our favor.

2. Well how am I supposed to show all of this fineness to the ladies if I don't take it myself?
I'm not saying you can't take it yourself. Use the timer, do the arm out self portrait if you have to, use one of the photos your friend took while you were at the beach or the pool. Just don't prop yourself in front of the bathroom mirror and take it. The position your camera/phone has to be in, in order to get the photo, leaves you positioned in a non-sexy way. Think about it: position your arm here, turn your hips this way, point the flash this way, tilt up, counter is too high..step back.... By the time you're done, the pose is anything but natural. Plus, to me, a man trying to be sexy isn't very sexy at all.

Remember, ladies have the ability to sniff out the sexy. You could have a 3-piece suit on and a woman would be able to tell what you are working with. Trust me. So if you gotta do it, so be it. But in my opinion, male shirtless mirror photos are just honestly not a good look.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Random Thought

9:11 AM |

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Just A Friend

10:23 AM |

Hommie, Lover, Friend?

There's always this constant argument about wether or not men and women can just be friends. To the nay-sayers, if men and women can't be friends, then how do you end up in the friend zone? Well, this is not a discussion about the intricacies about the platonic friends debate.

Sad to say, this thought comes from a combination of a conversation my friends and I had about the movie Just Wright, starting Queen Latifah and Common and viewing the show The Ultimate Catch. You know that lovely VH1 produced dating show for Chad Johnson (Ocho-Cinco). I watched as Chad had a very down to earth, honest conversation with one of the girls on the date. They had a lot in common, shared similar views and interests. In general she appeared to not only be attractive, but a very down chic. He remarked about how much they were vibing, much to the dismay of her competitor, and the hating chic remarked "like a hommie", like the snarky bitch she is. (Haha...that's why you got sent home. Hatin' ass...).

A friend of mine made a comment (to kinda paraphrase): When a guy finds out that he shares similar interest, has fun with a girl, shares an overall bond with her and she's not what society (or he) thinks of a being typically attractive, he doesn't know how to process what he feels. So he automatically assumes that what he's feeling is friendship, when in fact it's probably more than that. In the case of the movie Just Wright, Common's character knew there was an attraction there with Queen Latifah's character, however he dismissed it because, while she's cute, she wasn't his typical "type".

Regardless of the "type", I don't really understand what's so bad about sharing similarities and being the hommie. Is that not the foundation for a lasting relationship? Have we not been told to marry our best friends? I mean you're supposed to find someone that you can spend the rest of your life with. What would be so bad about being with someone who understands you can can relate? Someone you can be comfortable and honest with? Someone who can stimulate you mentally and physically. If you meet a genuinely attractive girl and she can throw a football, bake cookies, and step hard in a pair of 4 inch stillettos, what's the problem?

Sounds like a perfect match to me. Either way I'm tired of the idea of being a down to earth, down-ass-chic being perceived as something unappealing and unattractive. Good to kick it with but too good to be your girl. You yahoos can go on chasing after those uppity, high maintenance, the "oh my gahd, car go fast, thinking makes me sweat", simple bitches all you want. You'll soon realize she has a tighter bond with the reflection in the mirror and her prada bag than she does with you. Just don't let the movies fool you. You're hommie may not be ready and willing to drop her life now that you're finally ready to make her a real part of yours.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


10:41 AM |

Callin' like a collector....

Ok. I am at my ends here. I honestly have no idea what to do. What am I talking about? Let's see how I can give the short version.....I don't do high maintenance friends. If I say I'm going to call you, I will. Let me. If I'm going to text you, I will. Let me. If I say we'll hang out, then we'll hang. CHILL OUT!

Your time table of what too long is may not be the same as mine. If you are not a part of my daily life then you have no idea when I am or am not available. And to assume that I'm not calling because I don't want to be friends is stupid. It's not about avoiding. It's about being ready and having the time to hang, call, text, talk. AND just because I have some down time, does not mean I want to spend it with you! Not as a diss, but dang can a sista have some me time?

I'm going to be honest. If we are trying to establish a friendship or rebuild one, the lack of concern for what I have going on and what I want out of a friendship really makes me not want to even attempt to be friendly. Now I'm sure you're saying "Well just tell them all of what you just said". My response. I DID! I've done it nicely. I've done it not nicely. I've been honest about it. I've flat out lied. I've not answered texts. Avoided phone calls. Be mean? I've done that too.

What do I do????? Cause this one is a bug-a-boo. He's buggin' what? He's buggin' who? He's buggin' me and don't you see it ain't cool....

Monday, July 19, 2010

Moment of Simple

11:43 AM |

Imagine that...

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Ask A Black Girl

10:36 AM |

  1. confessdbgirl

    Why do you think most black people are the first ones to get killed in a horror movie?

    We weren't supposed to be there in the first place, that's why we die. What black person you know is going to be wandering through the woods at night, or checking out a creepy sound in the basement? We get killed first cause flat out....we know better.

  2. confessdbgirl

    How do you think Chili and her new friend are going to do?

    I think they will start off ok, but do I think they'll make it in the long run. Not really. I saw a lot of like there, but not a lot of love. While I think she opened herself up a lot on the show, I still felt like there's still a bit of a block. Until that lowers more, I don't think she'll really find what she's looking for.

  3. confessdbgirl

    Did you see the Hip Hop Honors Awards? It was wack!

    I did see the VH1 Hip Hop Honors for the Dirty South. I watched it several times. There are moments when I was really into it, and there were moments where I just wasn't feeling it. Overall I had a great time listening to those old songs and reminiscing.

    To be honest, I like the idea of giving a tribute to the south, but I believe the approach was a bit off. Perhaps focus more on the cities (Miami, Atlanta, Houston) and the sounds (booty bass, etc) and the big names that rep those rather than individual people or labels. I would have also organized it better.

    Plus, how can you even go on with a tribute to the south with out some of the biggest names in southern hip-hop. So...wack, I can't really say that. But they could have done a better job.

  4. confessdbgirl

    Hey I know you are overworked and have a lot on your plate. I love the design of your blog. How can I get your help to make mine pop -Professor Locs

    I'm working on something for you Professor Locs. I hope to have it soon so your blog can start to poppin'. :D

Got questions?? Ask me anything!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

A Dream Differed

10:25 AM |

Dried up like a rasin in the sun...

As children we're often asked what we want to be when we grow up. We're supposed to begin making decisions and start embarking on studies and activities that encourage the accomplishment of those dreams and goals. We work tirelessly only to reach an age when we realize that many of those dreams will either never come to fruition or have to be modified in order to survive in this life. Sometimes in pure survival many lose sight of what their original goals and dreams were.

As I rode around today I reflected back on my dreams and how nothing I'm doing today even remotely resembles what I originally set out to do. Sometimes I wonder if my plans changed due to reality hitting, due to overall changes in what I wanted out of life, or due to fear that I may or may not make it and what either of those possibilities would entail.

Either way, what I once dreamed about is no longer what I desire. Now, while I still feel a bit of a flame burning for what I used to love, the passion has cooled. What do you do? Try to reignite it or look for something else to refuel the fire? I'm not sure. Right now I'm just trying to listen. Not force it, but not ignore it. Just listen. I'm sure I'll be told which direction I need to move in next.

I must say that I admire my friends who are actively pursuing their dreams. They are truly and inspiration to me. I think regardless of where life takes you, you should always keep your eyes on your dreams.