An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Saturday, September 1, 2007


2:49 AM | my mu%#@ fu@&ing self. I can't believe another year has come and gone. Much love to Mr. Stark (to whom I owe credit for inadvertently inspiring my character style....and believe he will not let me forget it ) for being the first to wish me a Happy Birthday today!

I thought for a minute about if I was going to wish myself a Happy Birthday and I decided that I would. My main reason being is that two years ago on the day of my birthday, I really didn't get any love. I didn't get any well wishes until about 9pm that day. And by then I had been sitting at home. Alone. All damn day. No one took me out. No one even really asked if I had done anything or wanted to do anything. Do you know how bad that feels? From that point on I decided to make it a good day for myself regardless of who may or may not wish me well. That doesn't mean that it's not whole heartily appreciated and wanted. I just had to be happy I was alive myself. After that, my next birthday was a really great one. I'm hoping this year will be another good one.

Every birthday is a time for me to reflect. This year was a rather uneventful one. It had it's ups and downs. But all in all, I'm happy that I am making it. I'm no where close to where I thought I'd be at this age. There's a lot in my life I have yet to do. A lot of things I need to work on. A lot of personal goals I need to still accomplish. But I'm a lot further than where I was 3 years ago. And in a much better place physically and emotionally. I have evolved so much over the years and I'm starting to like who I am again. I am a much more positive person these days. (Which is MAD hard and exhausting to be. Not really in my nature.) Being positive doesn't mean being unrealistic. I've learned that. I still work entirely too hard, but I'm trying to learn how to have fun too. And I've surrounded myself with people who are truly down for me and inspire me everyday to be better. And that I will never take for granted.

Now will someone PHULEESE get me an iPhone??? That's all I want. Go half?? Whaddya say?