An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Mean Muggin'

12:00 PM |

Why you look so angry ma?

It has been said that often many black women are so hard to approach because they have a very stand-offish, or angry demeanor. As a black woman with a very stand-offish or angry demeanor I find it hard to properly address this issue. Primarily because, while I know that we can come off this way, I know it doesn't necessarily reflect how we are.

At any given point in the day I'll have someone ask me if I'm OK or why do I look so angry or who pissed you off today. Usually I'm surprised by it because I am typically having a good day. I mean this is just my face. What am I supposed to do? Walk around smiling like a cheshire cat all day? I can't help that my not frowning face looks angry.

But I do understand where the sentiment comes from. In general we can come off as evil and unapproachable. We have natural, innate mannerisms (head-rolls), looks (eye-rolls), motions (finger-snaps), that can be interpreted as angry and mean. So how do we fix that? We know we're fun and great people. How do we show that side to the world?

I think as black women we have to remember that we don't always have to be 'on'. We don't always have to be ready for something to pop off. We don't always have to be ready to prove ourselves. I know for me I'm always thinking about something other than what it is I'm currently doing and that can often affect how I appear. So we may just need to get out of our own minds. Live in the moment and have fun with out worrying about how we are being perceived. Uncross those arms and cross those legs. Think of thoughts that make us smile more often. Truly be engaged with every conversation, every interaction with another, and every situation. I think if we consciously do that, then our general demeanor will change.

Or perhaps not. Like I said. It could be just our face.