An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Sunday, September 16, 2007


8:58 PM |

Lately relationships have been the topic of discussion among my female friends. I don't know if it's the change in the weather or what, but that's what they ladies have been talking about. Other than my one homegirl, these conversations only make it even more obvious that I don't think like other females. But that's another conversation.

Today my homegirl (who we'll call WW) and I discussed a lot of things. And like most conversations I have with WW, I'm never really sure how we got there. She and I think alike. Mostly our discussion centered around attempting to answer questions about most people's thought process when they are in relationships. Here were most of our questions:

1. How do you marry someone after knowing them 6 months and have NONE of your closest friends really meet them?

We don't really have an answer to this one. There is no rule that says you have to date someone for a specific amount of time before you know you are ready to get married. Some date for years and are still not ready. Some date for a week and are married for eternity. What we have a problem with is: If this person is that close to you and is going to become one of (if not the most) important people in your life, why are you hiding them from the people closest to you? You may not think that you are, but you are. We believe that if you are that much in love you'll tell everyone. Not that you have to, but that person would come up in everyday conversation, you'd bring them with you to almost any event/get-together possible. Discuss them in ways that would lead someone to believe that you two were more than just another random hook-up. In a sense it won't be a secret or a surprise when you do get engaged. We may say "Wow that was quick." Not "Who is this person". Some may say that relationships are private and you don't have to tell everyone your business. We're not saying that you do. But if you and I are like "peas and carrots", then I should at least have an idea about how much you care for this person. In the end we just shake our heads and say as long as they're happy, we'll support them. To each his own.

2. How do you have your life depend so much on another person? So much so that once they're gone you have nothing; no friends, no interests, nothing.

This we will never understand. I personally believe that people are attracted to each other for the lives they are living at the time they meet. They are attracted to their personalities, their interests, their beliefs, etc. If you completely discard ALL that made you, you...what is left for your mate to be attracted to? The two of you come together and build your life together doesn't mean that you completely discard who you are. I've never understood how people can be like that. Maybe I'm just too independent.

3. Is there one soul mate or more than one? Are you destined to marry your soul mate?

WW stated that she believes there are more than just one soul mate for everyone. Another of my girls stated that there's not necessarily a person that's your soul mate, more so than a type that's your soul mate. I'm still not sold on this soul mate thing. I think I'm closer to it being a perfect/good match. I don't think you always marry your soul mate. They may not be the one's you are supposed to be with. It'd be a lovely fairy tale if everyone did marry their soul mate. But we all know that's not the case. They may grow to be your soul mate in the long run. They may not. Doesn't mean that your relationship is any less perfect for you. I believe the one you are destined to be with is the one that is at point A at the same time you are and are looking to move to point B, C and D at the same time. Doesn't make it any less romantic or magical. I don't think I explained it right, but I'm sure I'll have other chances to get into more detail about it later.

I'm sure there were other things discussed but I forget. I fade in and out. You know. I have focus issues. More thinking in type. Until the next installment......