An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

8:04 PM |

...the joys of getting dressed

1. Some petite pants are too long. Other petitie pants are too short.
There was a time when the petite pants in my size were about 1" too short. Thus, when my darling mother bought me clothes, I was treading through the high waters. Today, either the height range for petites has increased or I am shrinking because those very same pants are now about 3" too long.

2. Regulars are about 5" too long.
No one likes the "mother sewn, thread doesn't quite match rolled up hem" on the bottom of their pants. It either scrapes the ground or the home made hem slowly unravels in the wash.

3. Waists don't fit the waist.
To get pants that go over the butt, the waist ends up being too large leaving that well known gap between the back of the pants and my actual back. If you were to tighten a belt to make the gap smaller you end up with bunching. Bunching is not cute.

4. The size that fits the wast doesn't fit the butt and thigh.
So you search and search and finally find pants that don't leave the gap in the back. But, woe, they are so tight around your thighs and butt that even the thong you wear shows panty lines.

5. High rise waist are not an option, mid-rise are uncomfortable, low rise shows the crack.
High waist done wrong = mom jeans. Mid-rise can sometimes sit right on the fat roll. And Crack is wack.

So...screw it, I'll just wear a skirt.


Tony Stark said...

...personally, I say #4 is not a bad thing! It would seem that you're uncomfortable with your Bootiliciousness, maybe?

Anonymous said...

I'm with you. Can't gain enough weight to make them fit, and losing weight will not work either. Who ever decides how women's pants should be designed is sick and sadistic.