An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Monday, April 6, 2009

Single Slaughter

11:11 PM |

Cutting ties with single friends...

I don't know if you've noticed but there seems to be this strange phenomena happening. Apparently once two people decide to get together and become a "couple", it is no longer OK to hang out with single people. As if our singleness is going to corrupt the very fabric of the coupledom. So to protect the coupledom people start slashing away at single friends. Notice how I say friends. The rulers of the coupledom do not cut off random single people, oh no, they are terminating all ties with people who were there before the coupledom was established.

However in the same swoop they take aim at the solitary nature of your current status and recommend that you join the coupledom. Now typically after you have graduated from college the options on how you are able to enter the coupledom are club/bar, church, through friends/family or random happenstances. So, random happenstances are just that...random. Odds of that happening are rare. And when you reach this age, the clubs/bars/parties start to become 1 of 2 things: a vacation spot for those venturing out of the coupledom or cestpools for the rejected. Neither are good resources. Now if you go to church to worship like you're supposed to then church is out. And all that is left is friends introducing you to other people. But if all your friends are residing in the coupledom, how the hell are they supposed to introduce you to other people. And with their lack of ability to help become a part of the solution, one would think that they would let it go but no, they keep on slashing away. Apparently forgetting the saying "if you're not part of the solution then you are..."

Don't get me wrong, those in the coupledom do have their moments where they let visitors in. Throw a few parties and invite those from beyond the walls. And all is well and the people rejoyce. Until the men-folk segment themselves from their chatty female counterparts and you're left with a hen party. Being sure to be around just enough to say that things are still the same as to ease their own sense of guilt from being completely assimilated into the coupledom culture.

What is the deal? Why do couples feel the need to cut off all ties to the single people that supported them from day one? We are supposed to be your friends. And as friends you should know that we have respect enough for your relationships not to disrespect or endanger it in any way. Nor are we jealous of what you have managed to find. If the single people in your lives were ever truly your friends they'd be happy that you found someone you really care about.

Don't treat us as if we were the step-cousin with the lazy eye and the short shrivled up left arm that doesn't move. And don't expect us to be there waiting to incorporate you back into our every day life once you get banished from the coupledom. Just because you suddenly have time for us, doesn't mean we have time for you. The hillside outside of the coupledom is forever in transition. Stay behind those walls too long and all the people you knew on the outside will be gone...


Mary said...

Great post.

I think we'd all be happier without coupledom. It does cause single friends to be separated from the couples. This isn't good and it isn't necessary.

In order for coupledom to end, so does monogamy. Sex is the thing that makes a couple. Not that all our friends will have sex with each other, but that it would be OK to.

Becks said...

I'm on the other extreme end. I'm currently residing in coupledom and hate all my coupled, to be more specific - MARRIED friends and they better be cutting me off as a friend because they give the wackest advice: 'Try harder to understand this idiot of a man', 'Yes, he cheated on you but this could be the wake up call you both need to work harder on the relationship', 'Fight for him', 'You not getting any younger. You need to be thinking about settling down just like me', nya nya nya nya nya fuck off!!!