An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Friday, November 9, 2012

Off To A Good Start

12:00 PM |

Have you set yourself up for failure?

Can a relationship survive if it was started or built from a 'not good' situation? If the two of you weren't totally honest in the beginning, does your relationship have a chance to go the distance? If one was on the rebound, the other transitioning from the jump-off, could their relationship be lasting? Can you find perfection out of an imperfect situation?

I think it's very hard to build a solid foundation on rocky ground. Those things that you chose to ignore to start a relationship, have ways of sneaking back in later on down the line.  If you got with your man while he was still involved with another woman, in the back of your mind you will always be wondering if he is to be trusted.  If you are fresh out of a relationship and you just jump right into another one, you run the risk of throwing all of the old baggage and unleashing all the unresolved issues from the past relationship onto your new boo. Things you attempt to ignore instead of resolve have a way of embedding themselves into your subconsciousness. These things will sneak up on you when you least expect them to.  They'll cause you to overreact to every day, average annoyances. They fester.

When a relationship is young, it's supposed to be exciting, new and fresh. In this whole 'getting to know you' period, you should be eager and happy to learn more about the person you are spending time with. A new relationship shouldn't be filled with heavy arguments, frustration, suspicion and distrust. The bond you two are attempting to build hasn't had time to develop yet.  It's not strong enough to withstand all of this. Thus when the first sign of adversity rears its head, new relationships often tumble if they weren't built on a solid foundation to begin with.

In general I think if you don't start of right, you greatly reduce the chances of survival. If it doesn't seem like it's the right time to enter into a relationship with someone, trust your instincts.  It's better to wait until the time is right than to rush and ruin the chance of it ever happening.