An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Doing Too Much?

6:30 PM |

Cutely Interested vs Creepy Stalker....

If a man you weren't remotely interested, in popped up and showered you with unexpected, unrequested gifts, what would you do? Would you be flattered and impressed? Or creeped out and concerned? Back in the day when men were interested in pursuing a relationship with a woman they would send love letters, wine her, dine her, buy gifts, etc in an effort to earn her affection. In other words, court or woo her, even if it appeared that she may not have as much interest in him. Back then, it was cute. Today, you'd be a stalker.

Sometimes, I think guys feel like they can win a woman over. Buy her enough gifts, show her enough interest and she'll bow down. You'll show her you're interested. She'll hate you. You continue to pursue her. And then one day after a horrible life experience, you'll be there to comfort her. She'll look at you like she's never looked at you before and it'll happen. She's now and forever yours . That's how they do it in the movies, right?

Truthfully, if you are giving unwanted advances, no matter how sincere, you are really just doing entirely too much. There is a very, VERY thin line between interested and stalker. Regardless of the degree of attention a woman needs to feel wanted, no woman wants unwanted attention.

So what do you, a guy, do when trying to win the heart of a girl do? Do you just give up? Stop trying? Or wear her down? You have to respect her wishes, whatever they may be. There could be an opportunity in the future to win her heart. However if you keep pushing, you'll permanently lock that door. If you've shown that you are interested, trust that she gets it and if she's interested she'll show you. If she's not interested, then she's just not interested. Get the message and back off.