An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Friday, November 19, 2010

Acting Right

12:00 PM |

Fight or flight: how to behave in hostile situations...

Ok ladies, it's time to get real about arguments/fights. When the situation has gotten beyond heated. I'm talking seriously furious at each other and you are totally unleashing on your man. I warn you to be careful. While we have 'evolved', or whatever, the natural instinct of mammals is to fight or flee. If you corner your man and don't let him leave you are eliminating the flee option. Are you ready for a fight?

It's been my experience that if a man has to walk away from an argument, LET HIM. It keeps the two of you from saying things they really don't mean, keeps him out of jail and keeps you out of the hospital. When the situation has defused to a reasonable level, and if he still gives a crap about you, he'll be back. Under no circumstances should you block a doorway and try to prevent your man from leaving. Especially if you are still yelling and throwing stuff at him.

Please remember you are first and foremost arguing with a MAN. And you have to take into considerations all that being a man means. There are only so many things that the male psyche can take before his manhood begins to be challenged and he feels the need to retaliate. Wether that's going to be verbal or physical is totally dependent on the man. Majority of men have such a great control over themselves that they'll NEVER escalate to hitting a woman. But EVERY man has a limit. And if you choose to be the bitch to push that limit be prepared for whatever comes after that border is breached.

Too many women try to hide behind that "a man can't hit a woman" thing and think they can do any and everything to their man. No-no, sweetie. Understand that if you plan on throwing punches like a man, be prepared to be hit like a man. Please keep your hate-filled comments because trust that I'm not saying that it's right nor acceptable. But in what world do you think you can wail on another person, woman or man, and expect not to be smacked back?

So, in short. As hard as it may be when you're angry and yelling, you all know the natural limits. In the middle of a heated argument, don't prevent your man from leaving. Guys don't prevent your woman from leaving, either. Let things calm down to a level in which you guys can talk out whatever the situation is. Arguments should never escalate to where it gets physical. And you should never get so angry that you will say or do anything that could wreck your relationship. Be smart. Be respectful. Be good.