An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Friday, April 15, 2011

The Boomerang Boo

12:00 PM |

Here they come again...

Many of us at some point have gotten that infamous IM/text message/phone call from an ex with them saying they miss you, they want to see you, they want to get-get it with you, etc. You may or may not be in a relationship but more often that not the ex contacting you actually is in a 'relationship' of sorts. But yet here they are...hollering at you. It's flattering, right? I mean why else would they contact you when they're currently dating someone else. I mean girllll (or boooyyyyy) they still want you! Right?

Many exes contact you for one of four reasons:

1. They are trying to see if they still got you.

They'll tell you that this girl (or guy) they're with doesn't do what you did. They treat them bad....rah..rah...rah.... In other words they're not you. And of course you were the greatest. I mean that's why you're relationship was sooooo wonderful, pause, this is the EX! Remember that. Doesn't matter what they say, you (or they) ended that relationship for a reason. DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE! They're just testing their player skills out, see if they can still swing you.

2. They want to see if you are still single/available.

Don't get it twisted, it's not about you. Sometimes they want to see if you are willing to still associate with them though things are no longer what they used to be (after they've done you dirty). They want to see if you are still single after the breakup because if you are, could this mean you are so devastated by the split that you have't been able to find anyone else. If you're dating someone else, they want to see if they can take you from this new one. Assert their dominance over the new cat in your life. 'It can't be better than what we had. They can't be better than me.' It's all for their egos. They want to know if they still mean something to you. Many times this is a way for them to gauge where they stand in your life.

3. A last hurrah.

For many women, the ex men in their lives can contact you when things are going to that next level in their current relationship. They are looking to see if they should continue on with this one or go back to what he had before. Is there something else still out there? Double-checking their decisions. Sometimes, they are looking for one last hurrah before they take that leap into marriage. I haven't seen this happen with women much but it can apply.

4. The back-up plan.

The back-up plan could be applied to both sexes. Many times, that ex will also contact you when their current relationship is crumbling. Making sure they'll have someone to lay their heads on when this relationship bottoms out. This way they don't have to be alone and can make you think that they left the current one for you. When in actuality you were just their parachute. Trust and believe once both feet hit that ground securely they will be off and running once again.

Regardless of the reason, any ex that contacts you for something other than a friendly hello WHILE they are dating someone else is up to no good. Bounce them on back to their current boo-boo and go on about your business. Them playing around will get you caught up in a whole bunch of foolishness. If they were truly serious about trying to get you back, they wouldn't be wasting their time with someone else.