An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

You Are or You're Not

10:27 AM |

There is no in-between...

So while this is still kinda fresh on my mind, I should just go ahead and say that you either are in a committed, exclusive relationship or you're not. There is no in-between. No kinda. No we're figuring it out. None of this 'talking' bull. All of those are just ways to say that you are not in an committed, exclusive relationship. PERIOD. I don't care what you say.

So, if you are in fact floating around in this weird gray area of the relationship/dating game you really have to really focus and remember that you are not his girl/her man. What that means is, that other person (and you remember) can do whatever it is you want to do. Talk to who you want to talk to. Kick it with whoever you so choose. That also means that you cannot impose committed, exclusive relationship rules on the other person. Because you are not in a committed, exclusive relationship.

Seems simple right? Wrong. Why? Because of these pesky little things called feelings. These things make you forget that you are not exclusive with this other person. They get you crazy attached and starting to envision the 'finish line'. Imagining what it would be if you were exclusive. Pretending to introduce him to your family as your boyfriend. Showing your girl off to your boys. And really, many people start treating the other person as their girlfriend or boyfriend before anything real is ever established - encouraging the fantasy and if things ultimately don't work out, breaking hearts.

So what if you guys hang out every day, talk every night, date, get busy, share a tooth brush, WHATEVER. All of that doesn't matter. Hopefully, the person you are crushing on cares about you enough to not do anything to hurt you or that could potentially ruin their chances of becoming exclusive with you. But until the two of you decide, discuss (or go about it in a round about way-however you have to do it) that you two are only going to date each other then you have to let them do them.