An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Forgive and Let Go

12:08 PM |

Or move on...

So your girl or your guy has messed up. Now what. You have a decision to make. Stay or go. If you leave then you're done with it. Dust your hands. It's done. If you stay there are two things that need to be taken into consideration.

The first is the guilty party has to remember that the trust that was once there is broken now. Therefore, you will have to adjust your behavior in such a way that it doesn't leave too much room for doubt or speculation. Meaning things you once did, you may not be able to do in the same way. You have to take special steps to start rebuilding that trust that was lost. You also have to realize that the trust may never be in the same shape as it was before. The road to feeling 'like it was before' is going to be a rough one. Full of cracks and pot holes. And as the guilty party it is your responsibility to get in there and lay down that tar and pavement.

The second thing is the responsibility of the one hurt. If you do decide to stay you have also decided to forgive. That means you have to truly forgive. If that other party has owned up to their mistake and you guys have decided to work it out then you have to really put forth the effort to work it out. You have to accept the fact that the transgression has happened and do your best move past it. If the guilty party is being good, take solace in that. And let go. You can't keep holding the mistake over their head.

Failure from either party to do what is necessary will lead to a mess of misunderstandings and constant fighting. Thereby demonstrating that neither party is interested in repairing the relationship. The scorned one only wants to punish. The guilty one only wants to test, tease and torture. And if that is the case what was the point of staying together?