An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Friday, January 28, 2011

Acting Right

10:00 AM |

Door etiquette....

While this discussion of door etiquette is going to primarily directed at the men, I will say a few words to the women. If you want a man to be courteous to you, you need to be courteous back. I've talked with Professor Locs about this subject from time to time and he will be quick to let you know that 'this is not the Ritz and he is not a bellhop'. Be a gracious receiver of this and other courtesies, with appropriate thank you's following polite gestures. You can't expect a man to treat you as a gentleman should if you will not at least attempt to behave as lady should. Remember, he doesn't have to do these things for you - it's not like it's a requirement. And while this may seem a bit out-dated, there is something to be said for a man who observes some of these often of forgotten displays of politeness.

SO GENTLEMEN: If you are entering a room, or building at the same time or preceding a woman or group of women, it would be very polite of you to hold the door for her (them). If the door opens inward, step to the side (as to not block the entry) to allow for the woman (women) to pass by easily. If the door opens outward, do the same. (And it helps if you don't look pissed about it too.) When the woman is responding to your politeness by saying 'thank you' you can at least respond. 'Your welcome', 'Sure', 'No problem'....something....anything is better than a blank, lifeless stare.

If you are walking with a mixed group and one of the guys in the group decides to hold the door, men should let all of the women in the party enter first. They can then decide how the rest of the party should proceed to enter. Either with a 'go ahead, I got it' or whatever floats your boat. I personally believe that the individual who was so nice to hold the door for the ladies, should enter next, with the rest of the men in the party following after. (But that's just me.)

If the person you are with (be it your home girl or your girl-girl) asks you not to hold the door for her then respect her wishes. No biggie.

There's some question about how far away a person has to be behind you for you to hold the door for them. I think the general rule is about 4 feet. However I think it's up to you. If they seem far away then go on about your business. If they are close it's a nice gesture to offer. They can then either speed up to meet you or they should say 'it's ok, I got it, thank you' to let you know to go on ahead. (And if someone is holding the door for you, you really should speed up and not just leave them standing there waiting.)

Gentleman to gentleman and woman to woman, you should hold the door for each other. Not necessarily in 'the open the door to let the other pass' scenario. But more so in the, 'don't let the heavy door slam down on another person' scenario. Hold the door until the person behind you touches the handle. It's ok to double check and look behind you to be sure they've got it. If you are the one following you should touch the door and hold it for yourself, saying thank you to the person who has preceded you. Don't just expect them to hold the door for you. (I mean who are you really?)

All youth should hold the door for their elders. That's just respect. Period. This one is gender neutral.

It would also be a nice gesture for you to hold the door for someone you see with a lot of items in their hands, a heavy bag, etc.

If you do, do this for a woman and she has been rude or un-lady like about it, don't jump down her throat. It could be that she's just hateful. Or it could be she did say thank you and you just didn't hear it. Whatever the case, remember you do this because it's the polite thing to do, not to win any awards. Know that you've something nice for someone and that's really all that matters. Let it slide and don't let one or two (or 20) rude females stop you from being courteous.

Besides...someone will address their rudeness at another time ;)