An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Dating ≠ Smashing

1:00 PM |

Can a man just date a woman?

SO, let me pose a question:

If a guy says that he's dating multiple people, do you automatically assume he has a legion of fuck buddies?

I ask this in reaction to something I read in a comment on a video about dating and being single. The person commenting basically assumed that since this person was casually dating multiple women, he was in fact fucking them. All of them. And randomly gathering new ones weekly.

Is that really what you think about when someone says they're dating multiple people? That this dude is really just out there poking his stick into a bunch of random chics? Is that what dating is to you?

I think it would be nieve for us to believe that men were not out there having random sex because many do. And even guys who are dating has those he is actually sleeping with. But, I think it's shallow to reduce all men to that most primal and doggish level. Just because a man is out there dating, it doesn't mean that he's just out there smashing everything that moves. Think about how many times you've done dinner and a movie with a guy and didn't give him the goodies. You could have seen him several times after that and then ended things without ever having sex with him. So why not think that (some of) the girls this guy is seeing are doing the same thing?

Not every guy out there is chasing scandalous chics. The girls he's dating could be just as respectable and 'good' as you are. And if he's being honest with you about seeing other people, it is not unreasonable to assume he's been just as honest with them. We need to give guys a bit more credit. Otherwise, we could miss out on a guy that is really great.