An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Not A Good Look

10:39 AM | Labels: , , ,

What are you contacting her for?


Ladies, hear me. There is absolutely no reason, at all, what-so-ever, for you to EVER make contact with the 'other woman'. Don't let these R&B songs mess your head up! Unless that other woman was one of your so-called-friends, she has ZERO allegiance to you. She doesn't know you and apparently doesn't give two ish's about you either. She might not even know about you at all. If your man is cheating, you address it with that man. Period. If he refuses to leave that, or any other woman alone, then.......

It is up to you to decide what you will and will not put up with. If you decide to stay and he doesn't make a change, then you decide to put up with his dealings with the other women. If you waste your time running one off, what's to say that he won't find another. What are you going to do? Spend the rest of your life in that relationship chasing off women cause your man can't keep it in his pants?

Even if this woman is a predator and is pursuing your man against his wishes, it is up to HIM to stop her advances. He is a MAN. He needs to be able to take care of his business.

Bottom line, calling up these other women, sending them "he's mine, you may have had him once but I got him all the time" emails, just makes you look STUPID. (And if you put it in an email you're writing your dumbness down..able to be printed, forwarded and shared for the whole world to see how stupid you sound). And we all know that stupidity is simply not a good look.



Share |
comments (0)

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

80/20

1:00 PM | Labels: , , , ,

Are you really an 80?....Really?


Oh...the 80/20 rule. If you are unfamiliar with it, the rules is as followed: Most people get 80% of what they need out of their current relationship but have a tendency to go chasing after the 20% they're not getting believing that's what they truly want. Thank you Mr. Perry for bringing that to the masses.

When you think about people cheating and what/who they usually cheat with you can clearly see the application of the 80/20 rule. And with this rash of cheating ways of the married men in hollywood lately, this idea has even more substantiating evidence. I mean......you know what...I'm not even going to go there.

Please be aware that this rule or idea only applies to the ones that are truly 80's. Just because you're in a relationship with some one does not mean you or the one that you are with are the 80%. You have to give it to be it. And if you are not putting in work into your relationship, you could find yourself being the 20 and the new girl/guy being the 80. Check yourself.

However, don't let fear of possibly not getting out there what you're getting at home keep you in a relationship that's unfulfilling. This rule doesn't mean that there's not someone better out there. (It also doesn't mean you should be jumping from person to person searching for something better either). Be sure you are truly getting what you need out of your relationship and be sure you are giving your partner what they need. Because then, it doesn't matter how bad ass that 20% is, your partner won't even notice.



Share |
comments (3)

Sunday, March 9, 2008

You, Me & She

7:58 PM | Labels: , ,

... thoughts on the other woman


I know my thoughts on this topic will probably make me very unpopular but hear me out. There are always talks about the "other" woman. You know, the one who sleeps around/dates a man who is already in a relationship. Mostly these talks involve people bashing the other woman, often painting the picture of this seductive siren lurking in the recesses of the bar just waiting to sink her talons into your man. This is not the woman I am discussing today. I've known many who have been the other woman, and while I cannot deny the existence of those predatory women, not all women caught up in that situation are like that. To be honest, I think the other woman gets a bad rep. Not every "other" woman has been out there preying on your man. Nor is she a "whore" (thoughts on this word to come soon). Many are women just like me and you who, despite their best efforts, find themselves involved with someone who is attached.

How many times have you said: "Well she knew he was taken, why was she messing with him in the first place." Why should you put all the responsibility on her? If your man is approaching her, shouldn't the focus of your irritation and anger be at him? Why is it her responsibility to watch out for your relationship? It's obvious your man isn't trying to watch out for it and he has more of a responsibility to you than she does. It's very possible that this woman has done her best to avoid getting involved with your man, but due to persistence, has found herself attracted to the very same things that attracted you to him.

So am I saying that "cheating" is ok and that there's nothing wrong with being the other woman. No I am not. I'm saying that we need to remove the stigma and stereotypes from the other woman and start looking at the one who stepped out. Be mad at him. And, since I'm really being honest, look at your relationship and figure out why he feels the need to want to be with someone else. If it's more than a one night stand situation, he's finding something in that other woman that he's not finding with you.



Share |
comments (6)

Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)
Subscribe