An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Monday, December 17, 2007

Why I Don't Sleep

2:15 AM |

...ignoring the voices in my head

I lie here sneezing and hacking away with this cold that's awakened suddenly like a sleeper cell in my body. As I wait for my Nyquil to kick in, crying through the indigestion its given me, I wonder why I'm still even up to feel these symptoms in the first place. No matter what my day has required of me or what task lie ahead the next, I still find myself awake long after I should be. It's a well known fact that a lack of sleep can lead to numerous problems including variations in mood, depletion of energy and some studies even link it to weight gain. Knowing that if I got more sleep I would feel better during the day and be twice as productive as I am, I still continue to stay awake.

It's not that I can't sleep so much as I don't want to. My most creative thoughts come long after the sun has gone down. I have project ideas, illustrations I want to draw, a crochet blanket to finish, sites to browse and information to collect. I have tomorrow to plan for, and items to organize. However my lack of motor skills and inability to focus visually usually leave me unable to complete what I started. I can't quiet my mind long enough to make getting to bed at a normal hour possible.

I said all of this to actually say this: Why do we constantly do things we know are contrary to what we should be doing? I know I need more sleep. I've done the research, know what I need to do, know that I'll feel better in the morning but I continue to keep myself awake. I guess the voice in my head that tells me the right thing to do is easy to ignore. But why? We all have that voice. What has the little voice told you to do that you've ignored? Why won't you listen?