An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

What happened to the man?

1:10 AM |

...not a call to action, but a legitimate question

I'm not totally sure why this topic came to mind. It could be the result of some truly horrible dates I've been on. It could be the saturation of effeminate male figures on my television. It could be the fact that I see little girls leading little boys around by their noses at my school. It could be that god-awful I Love New York finale I got sucked into watching. I just had to ask the question: What happened to the man?

While this may seem like I'm sending women to the dark ages, hear me out. There was a time when men commanded attention. They were strong and assertive. They were heads of their homes. They weren't afraid of getting their hands dirty. When I was in school, while the guys did a lot of skirt chasing but it wasn't like they were jumping every time their woman said jump. Truthfully most of the girls were following mindlessly behind the guys. Now all I see are guys failing to handle business because their woman is whining about "quality time". (Please don't get me started on that....wait get me started...I'll come back to that issue in a minute.) What happened to the man???

I'm an assertive woman. I don't want man who will buckle to my every whim. No where in there do I say I want an asshole or someone who will beat my ass. That's not what I'm saying. I want to feel confident that I have someone to lean on. Some one to support me. I need to know that when I'm at my weakest moment, I have someone by my side that has my back. If I feel scared, he'll protect me. If I want a follower or someone to obey my commands, I'll get a dog.

Truthfully I know that this decline in a strong male presence has to do somewhat with the lack of the man in the role of the father in the homes. Our male population is saturated with those brought up by women only. While I think it gives men sometimes a hyper sensitivity to our needs, which can be a plus, I think it doesn't necessarily give them any example of how a true man handles business. Plus it also can set up the pattern of the women running this because that's all they've seen. Not to say women can't raise strong men, they've done it and done it well for years. But you can't deny that this could be a factor.

All in all I'm saying men, be men. Be strong and handle business. To address the woman and the quality time issue I mentioned before, it's really simple. If a woman is truly down for you, then she won't block you from achieving your goals. She won't have a problem with you handling business. And women let them. True you may not get as much time as you may want, but if he's truly down for you, he won't leave you behind when he makes it. I know this may sound old fashioned but truly this goes both ways. As I'm climbing I'd want my man to support me, just as I would support him. But I can get support from a wet noodle. MAN UP!