An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Thursday, March 26, 2009

My Boys

11:27 PM |

Alone with my thoughts...

Today I was thinking about the students I interact with on a daily basis. I was just telling a friend of mine how I find it funny that the students I am always looking out for or are the closets to are male. Often I find myself in a room just discussing school, relationships and life with a group of guys. I've never really connected with many of my female students the way I connect with the male students. Not that I purposely go out and try to, it just happens. And I just rhetorically asked why that was.

My friends reply was something I didn't expect. She told me that from the day we met one thing that I used to say was a pet peeve of mine was seeing a young man with all the potential in the world not living up to it. I guess because I the time I was always hearing of these programs for girls, things for girls, support groups for girls but I felt that many times black men were being left out. Not to say that there weren't programs out there, I just heard of the girl activities more. Not only that, there is such a disparity in the number of black men in higher education to women it just concerns me. She reminded me that even when I was a tutor at a middle school in undergrad I was always tutoring and mentoring the young black males who people had basically given up on. And that in a sense it would be hypocritical of me to have such strong opinions about it and not do anything about it.

I had never really thought about that mostly because I think one of the greatest influences a young man can have comes from another man. There are things that boys learn from men that cannot be taught by women. And I don't mean that whole how to be a man stuff either, because there are plenty of great single women raising wonderful men. But there are things that I believe can only be taught to a man by another man. So I never really saw what I was doing as anything as influential per say.

Nonetheless, I've always felt that I related to guys sometimes better than girls. They communicate in a way that makes sense to me. Often I would just use my time to I guess be the voice of reason in a sea of silly chics. Kick them in the ass when they needed it. Congratulate them when it was time. And I guess that connection I made, gave me a way to subconsciously help in some ways alleviate that pet peeve I had stored up. I've always helped out with younger kids but I guess no matter what age you are it always helps to have someone in your corner. That's really all a mentor is in my opinion. Today 3 of "my boys" finished their degrees and I couldn't have been more proud. I got to hear one tell his mom and sister how much I helped them. And another who was out there alone and has no support at home gave me a big hug and just said thank you.

So I have the beginnings of 3 success stories....but alas there are many others that make me want to drop kick them ERREY DAY!!! Guess it's time to get back to work.....



1 comments:

Becks said...

Thanks for sharing such an uplifting story. I don't particularly focus on my black male students. Despite being in an African country where the majority of the population is black, my school is dominantly white. I tend to look out for the black students in general. Most come from disadvantaged backgrounds where education standards are nowhere near those of thier white peers who had access to better education. They come to university already on the back-foot, into a foreign world with its equally foreign culture. You see it in the timid deference they exhibit in class, most lack the confidence to participate in class discussion. I spend half my teaching efforts coaxing and prodding... More than half of black students enrolled in a given year will not complete their degrees. There is a lot of work to be done...

3 success stories at a time! Well done.

Subscribe