Alone with my thoughts...

Today I was thinking about the students I interact with on a daily basis. I was just telling a friend of mine how I find it funny that the students I am always looking out for or are the closets to are male. Often I find myself in a room just discussing school, relationships and life with a group of guys. I've never really connected with many of my female students the way I connect with the male students. Not that I purposely go out and try to, it just happens. And I just rhetorically asked why that was.

My friends reply was something I didn't expect. She told me that from the day we met one thing that I used to say was a pet peeve of mine was seeing a young man with all the potential in the world not living up to it. I guess because I the time I was always hearing of these programs for girls, things for girls, support groups for girls but I felt that many times black men were being left out. Not to say that there weren't programs out there, I just heard of the girl activities more. Not only that, there is such a disparity in the number of black men in higher education to women it just concerns me. She reminded me that even when I was a tutor at a middle school in undergrad I was always tutoring and mentoring the young black males who people had basically given up on. And that in a sense it would be hypocritical of me to have such strong opinions about it and not do anything about it.

I had never really thought about that mostly because I think one of the greatest influences a young man can have comes from another man. There are things that boys learn from men that cannot be taught by women. And I don't mean that whole how to be a man stuff either, because there are plenty of great single women raising wonderful men. But there are things that I believe can only be taught to a man by another man. So I never really saw what I was doing as anything as influential per say.

Nonetheless, I've always felt that I related to guys sometimes better than girls. They communicate in a way that makes sense to me. Often I would just use my time to I guess be the voice of reason in a sea of silly chics. Kick them in the ass when they needed it. Congratulate them when it was time. And I guess that connection I made, gave me a way to subconsciously help in some ways alleviate that pet peeve I had stored up. I've always helped out with younger kids but I guess no matter what age you are it always helps to have someone in your corner. That's really all a mentor is in my opinion. Today 3 of "my boys" finished their degrees and I couldn't have been more proud. I got to hear one tell his mom and sister how much I helped them. And another who was out there alone and has no support at home gave me a big hug and just said thank you.

So I have the beginnings of 3 success stories....but alas there are many others that make me want to drop kick them ERREY DAY!!! Guess it's time to get back to work.....