An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Opposed to Sleep

12:28 AM |

I sit alone in my four-cornered room, staring at candles....

I don't know why it is I am opposed to sleeping. I actually really have come to hate it. I don't mind resting, lets get that straight. Lying down, relaxing and all is just fine. But there is something about sleeping that I just don't like. It's come to a point where I try and find any and everything to do until I just can't function anymore. Even then once I get into bed, I just toss and turn trying to silence everything in my head so I can sleep. Plus I just don't feel rested. I wake up just as tired as I did when I layed down.

Some say I need to sleep in the dark. Currently I tend to leave the tv on. It's muted but the light helps. I must confess I'm a bit afraid of the dark. It doesn't help that A) the only other living thing in my house is a plant donated by my mother and B) every night at about 1:00am there is a rather unsettling a thud or something...don't know what it is but it freaks me the hell out. Either way when it's dark my mind sees things. Real or imaginary. Sometimes my thoughts wander to places that cause me much anxiety in the dark. Sometimes I start thinking about what I need to do the next day, what bills I need to pay, or replay what I did that day. Perhaps I should just get a nightlight but either and the dark just don't get along.

My best ideas come to me at night as well. So it's hard to go to sleep when I have so many things I want to do. So I dunno what to try. Guess I'll just stay up...