An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Let's Get Married

11:30 AM |

'We ain't gettin' no younger, we might as well do it...'

At some point in your adult life your single friends just start dropping like flies. (Typically around the age of 25 or so). It like watching dominos fall. It all starts with one. And soon you'll be blocking at least 2-3 months out of your year for weddings. Only to be blocking another 2-3 months for baby showers about 2 years later. Good for them. They found love. Their soul mate. The person they're going to spend the rest of their lives with. Right?

Some people approach marriage like that line at the top of my post from that oh-so-wonderful Jagged Edge diddy. (The one people love to play at weddings but if they really listened to that song -remix or original- there is NOTHING sweet or marriage worthy about that song but the melody. But I digress). People sometimes approach marriage like a goal to reach. A task to be handled. A check box to mark off. It becomes less of a union of hearts, minds, spirits (money), and more about just being something to do.

Inner dialogue: I'm 'at that age'. He's cool/she's cool. She'll be a good mother to my kids. He'll be a good father to my children. And even if they get all old and busted and evil I'll be too old to even care cause I'll be old and busted and deaf.

Even when marriage was less about love and more of an arrangement or a joining of two like minded people with similar goals and aspirations (something like a corporate merger and less like what we think of love today) there was still a meeting of the minds. Similarities. Common interests. Some of ya'll getting married don't even really like your future spouse.

Ultimately no one wants to spend their life alone. However I think marriage should be less about 'I'm at that age' and more about 'this person is right for me'. Sadly I feel like I see/hear a lot of the "I done, done it all" and less of the right for me part. Maybe I'm just being to much of a skeptic. I guess I just want people who are at that point, want to some day get to that point or really are thinking they're ready to be married to not feel like it's an obligation, a mile-marker or a final destination (regardless of what your mother might say). If it happens then wonderful. If it doesn't then find a way to truly be ok with that. Just.....I guess....be careful out there.



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