An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS?!?

12:30 PM | Labels: , , , ,

It's my Blog-a-versary!

September is a big month for me. My birthday is in September. Parent's anniversary is in September. Got a few friends and family who's birthdays are in September. I need to renew my hosting account before the month ends. And I started my blog in September. It's the Disillusioned Black Girl's Anniversary! Well, technically it was yesterday but alas, close enough! I started this blog back in 2005. It's been 8 years. Can't really believe it.

So to honor this occasion, I'm going to write in a category that I haven't written since December of last year. This blog-a-versary post is.....

NOT A GOOD LOOK

Girls in head scarfs...


This lady looks airbrushed and lovely right. Prepping for bed, hair secure and safe from night time damage. Nothing about this image says she's ready to go out in public. I don't care how much make up is added on to her face. She should never leave the house with this on her head. Too many of you think it's OK and no matter how many of us stand up and scream PLEASE STOP! You continue. So let me add my voice to the plea...

STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! I don't care what the reasoning is. I don't care if you're just going to run a quick errand, not getting out of your car, just woke up, hair not looking right. I. DON'T. CARE. You cannot rationalize or justify this behavior to me. I've talked about it once before a long time ago, and was just recently having this conversation again with a group of my students so allow me to repeat myself.

Stop it!

It doesn't matter what the iteration of this offense is. Wether it's the sleep cap with the elastic band that ruffles at the bottom, the satin scarf in all it's various shades and patterns, the mesh wrap with the velcro closure for those ladies that wrap their hair at night, or the rollers - bet not let me catch you in public in rollers - it's not ok.

There are so many other bad hair day solutions. A pony tail. A hat. An actual decorative scarf. Gel to slick the short styles down. A wig. Most Walmarts and grocery stores are 24 hours. If you're hair isn't done or presentable, you have time to get it together. There is no reason to wear your sleep gear out in public. If the task needs to be handled before you can complete your follicle maintenance routine then please see the list of acceptable bad hair day solutions.

There are so many people you have the potential to encounter on every excursion out of your house. Regardless if it's a quick run to the store or a walk out to the mailbox. You just simply never know who may be watching. So why not put your best foot forward. Plus we as Black women have so much mess and stereotypes to overcome, let's not continue to add fuel to the fire.

This should go without saying. Every woman on the planet knows that sleep caps, scarves, rollers, hair wraps in public are just NOT GOOD LOOKS!

For more advice on what you should probably stop doing immediately - take a look more Not A Good Look posts.



Share |
comments (1)

Friday, December 14, 2012

Not A Good Look

7:30 AM | Labels: , , ,

Put some damn shoes on....

I know it's been a moment since I've posted a Not A Good Look post, but after driving home today and seeing what I saw, I felt it was time for another installment. What I saw was a young 'man'? maybe? walking his/her dog down my neighborhood street in a black beater and shorts and NO shoes. Now, it's not the time, place or weather for either of those items individually.  Seeing it all together almost made me roll down my window and ask what the hell was going on. It's all wet and winter outside and what not. I know it's like 54 degrees but it's December yo!

Ok my melanin reduced brothers and sisters, we need to have a meeting.  Why are you all obsessed with walking around public places with no shoes on??? Your girl Brittany was in public bathrooms with no shoes. You guys are all in the parking lots, stores and gas stations sometimes, just prancing around like it's just the thing to do. I mean come on! I know it's the south but COME ON!

I mean sure I'll take off my shoes at work from time to time when my shoes get the best of me.  I may even go into my drive way or if I had a yard, my yard with no shoes on.  But you will not see me strolling down a public thoroughfare in my naked footies!

There are germs out there!! You don't know what's on that street!!  All kinds of dirt, grime, ashes, vomit and animal piddle residue your just strolling on, on your porous skin. Then you track all that ish into your house.  Some of you don't even wash your feet after so that gets all on your carpets, sofa....IN YOUR BED! Oh my goodness you germy, germy people!!! *Professor Locs freak out - spray - spray everything!!! Red Alert! Red Alert!*

 This is beyond Not A Good Look.  Just STOP IT! STOP IT! You ground zero resus monkeys....gonna infect us all!!



Share |
comments (1)

Friday, August 3, 2012

Not A Good Look

1:12 PM | Labels: , ,

The Silly Chics...

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a stupid girl.  I hate them with all my heart and soul! More than spiders, more than smelly trash, more than the sound of nails scraping across a chalkboard.  Hate. Hate. Hate. Stupid Girls.

You would think that something like this wouldn't get to me so bad.  Who cares what stupid girls do, they're stupid.  But see the problem is - this disease is spreading. Intelligent chics are becoming more and more rare. And what were are left with is nothing but mindless, bobble-headed, wanna-be barbies.

So.  I was asked, what exactly is a stupid girl.  We'll here's my list of what would categorize you (or the woman you are dating) as a stupid girl.


  1. Mindlessly follows the crowd
  2. Thinks her own ignorance is funny
  3. And has no desire to try and be any smarter
  4. Is self-centered and self-absorbed
  5. Inconsiderate and rude
  6. Only talent is being cute
  7. Shallow
  8. Puts high value on small and shallow things
  9. Demeans and puts down people
  10. Finds enjoyment in other people's insecurities - a bully
  11. Can't do shit.  I mean nothing.  Nothing at all
  12. Finds nothing wrong with belittling her assets or herself to fit in
  13. Or does #11 to find or keep a man
  14. Has no thoughts or opinions of her own
  15. Completely ignorant of her history or culture and is fine with that
  16. Not only does she not have any book smarts, she also has no common sense
  17. Never thinks about future consequences of her actions
  18. Doesn't care about how her actions could potential reflect badly on the people around her or her family
  19. Aspires to be like the reality stars on TV
  20. Always trying to fight someone over something stupid
I just really can't stand them. I really can't. These girls mess the entire game up for EVERYONE! Making it hard out there on a real chic.  And that's just NOT a good look.



Share |
comments (1)

Friday, July 20, 2012

Not A Good Look

12:00 PM | Labels: , ,

Black smokers lips...

I gotta tell you.  When you have managed to smoke you way to lips that are as black as the tread on your tires, you might have a problem.  I mean, what more can I say? This is not sexy boo!



For me, lips are the first thing I look at on a man. And while we all know that black men's lips come in all shades, shapes and sizes, we know when lips are black because of melanin and when they are black because of a 3 pack a day habit. And when I identify your lips as smoker lips, it only makes me wonder...
Bet he tastes like an ash tray...or blacks...or the 'cherry' flavored ones....
*Pause*....waits for that phlegm filled cough/throat clearing....
Can I smell the smoke....*sniff*sniff* yea I can smell the smoke...
Menthols?!?  Really....
Did he just say he doesn't smoke...just a black every now and then (negro you smoke)....
Them lips are saying more now than then...
What your teeth look like?
This kid's gonna die....

And thus I have managed to miss any game you might be trying to spit at me at that moment. Heard not an ounce of what you said.  Nothing.

I'm sorry sweetie, not going to even get preachy about the danger of the habit, it's just all around not a good look.



Share |
comments (2)

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Not A Good Look

1:00 PM | Labels: , ,

Pleated pants.....



Dear men of the world,

It is no longer acceptable for you to adorn your lower body with pleated pants. It doesn't matter the brand, the color, the length, the position of the pleats, if they are in fact 'back in style' - Just Say No.

While the pleated pants do offer a bit more space and coverage for your valuables in the front, it generates one of the top unappealing physical traits (in my opinion) on a man: Man Hips. Pleats make your waist look tiny and your hips look big. Giving you a curvy silhouette that should only be reserved for a woman's body.

Now nature will often bless you with a curvier lower half than most. Especially if you're brown. Can't fault you for that. And to be honest, there's nothing wrong with a man who has just enough junk in his trunk. Us ladies like to peer at that too. This is why you should find fits and shapes that make you look sophisticated and streamlined. I cannot stress enough how important it is for a man's dress clothes to be fitted properly. Failure to do so makes you appear a bit immature and unprofessional. And no woman wants that.

So gentleman, while you're out there shopping for you latest look remember to look for flat front pants. Because pleated pants and man hips are just not a good look.



Share |
comments (0)

Monday, July 25, 2011

Not A Good Look

8:19 PM | Labels: , ,

They're called an undershirts for a reason...


I really do hate to make my 'Not A Good Look' posts about actual looks, but with it being as hot as it is I really must say external 'wife beaters' and white t's are not the business. Now I can sort of give you a pass if the t's are fresh out of the box, and excellent quality. But let's just be honest here...those are not the one's you fellas are wearing.

If you're T is so thin I could watch TV through it and all of your unruly, taco meat is visible through the shirt, you should not be wearing that alone. If you're shirts are so stretched out you could take it off by sliding it down around your hips, that is not grocery store appropriate apparel. If your shirts are so stained it looks more like a denver nuggets jersey, you don't need to wear that out in public.

If you really just need a white T, there are plenty of places you can get an appropriate one from for a good price. Cause, boo, beat down beaters and raggedy white T's are just not a good look.



Share |
comments (0)

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Not A Good Look

12:30 PM | Labels: ,

Did you just spit?!?

T25C6T5C7J34

Picture it ladies. You see this foine piece of man across the way. He sees you. You start walking towards each other as if in slow motion. And just before the two of you get close, he cocks his head to the side...you hear a rumble from his chest...and *Hhhhhhhhhhhccccccc-PTooooooooo*. He lets loose a nice big ol' stream of chest snot. (Record scratch - pause - ewww).

Yea. I want to kiss that.

It doesn't matter if you are a super model or a toothless gremlin. Spitting is so not a good look. I understand that sometimes it simply must come out but can you at least do it out of sight. As in not while we are face to face having a conversation. As in not when we are walking together. Dismiss yourself for a bit and spit.

And while I'm asking. Can you spit in the grass? It's bad enough I have to walk around duck poo, low flying hornets, gum, spiders.........



Share |
comments (0)

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Not A Good Look

12:07 PM | Labels: , ,

The wanna-be model...


You've seen these chicks. The appropriate model height. Crazy skinny. Squared off, man-like, jawline. Arm out cradling a purse with their noses up side-eying everyone's outfits behind their big, bug-like hater shades. Frequently rude. Inappropriately conceited (because many are just not cute). Always thinking every guy who says hello to them is sweating them. Why? Because, they're a 'model' *hair flip*. Let's break this look down, shall we?

The Body Wave Weave:
The wanna be model uniform almost ALWAYS includes a bra-strap length body wave weave. The weave looks like it is straight out of the package: never combed, never properly separated.
Typically jet black. It is always parted down the middle. Always. Often the wave of the weave starts just above the ear, leaving the top part of the hair flat to the scalp. Depending on how the girl takes care of the weave it can either be quite greasy looking or super dried out and starting to frizz.





The Mid-Drift Shirt:
Apparently the wanna-be model uniform this year includes a loose-fitting mid-drift showing shirt. The shirt can often be in the shark-bite style (shorter in the front, longer in the back) or 80's style (off the shoulder with the bra strap showing). Luckily this girl is 'naturally' skinny so you'll usually see no flab around her middle. (Doesn't mean the belly is toned by any means). And sadly, at least in my opinion, the belly button often looks a bit weird. Not all the way an inny. Not quite an outtie. Just weird looking. Sometimes, the wanna-be may forget to handle her um..happy trail. So there may be some whiskers showing.







The Skinny Jean and the Peep Toe Platforms:
To complete this look, the wanna-be will almost always be sporting a pair of low-rise, skinny jeans and peep toe platforms. Since she is a 'model' the shoes will usually be fabulous. Not necessarily appropriate for whatever it is she is doing or wherever she is going, but hot shoes none-the-less. Legs are of course ultra skinny but often bowed with the accompanying pigeon-toed stance. Often these jeans can be swapped out for a ultra small mini-skirt, but that is just for kicks. Fortunately for us non-models, the visible thong is no longer the thing to do, so we will not be seeing g-strings peeking through. Just a whole lot of crack cause apparently it's cool to go commando these days...(yea, my eyes are rolling).



This is not a good look for many reasons. Number 1: The look is played. Do something else. Number 2: Many of our gender transitioning brothers adopt this as their go-to look. In other words, you are often mistaken for a man. Number 3: The rudeness and self-centeredness that often comes with this look. You are 'trying' to become a model. In other words a wanna-be. So who are you? There is more to life than being cute. And unless you are being paid for your cuteness, you need to stop treating it like it's your occupation.



Share |
comments (1)

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Not A Good Look

2:13 PM | Labels: , ,

Boo, where are your clothes?


I have never for the life of me understood why people, especially young women, feel the need to walk around damn near naked. And with the summer coming the amount of barely clad jail bait will reach epidemic numbers. I know it's hot. I know what you are wearing maybe what the magazines call 'cute'. But let me be the 15 and 1/2 person to tell you that it's not cute! I don't care if you have the body to wear it or not, I do not want to have to constantly see your goodies!

And I know it's been said that that ish is sexy. But if you are constantly showing off your goods, what's there left to go get? Where's the chase? Where's the tease? Where's the allure? If he, her, them, and they can all see what you are working with, what incentive does a guy have to try and get it?

And what's up with all these parents letting their daughters walk around with their booties and girlies hanging out? So what if it passed the finger tip test? What you need to be checking is if it passes the bend over or sit tests. There is still such a thing as age appropriate. Don't be afraid to be a parent and tell her to put some clothes on!

While we're at it, moms PLEASE stop taking your pre-pubescent, post pubescent, not yet in college daughter to Victoria's Secret to get her underthings! What does it matter if it's pretty? Who's going to see it? There is no reason for a 14 year old to have Vickie's lace thongs and teddies unless she's planing on get-getting it. If she wants pretty bloomers take that child to Wal-Mart and get her a 5 pack of Hanes or Fruit of the Loom with flowers and stripes and call it a day.



Share |
comments (1)

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Not A Good Look

8:30 PM | Labels: , ,

Going to work at work...


Confused by the subtitle? Not a Big Daddy Kane aficionado? Here I'll explain it to you....

As we grow older, the places and time we have to go looking for a potential mate start to dwindle. Thus many people begin to search for love at their place of business. While frowned upon by many institutions, the act of work place dating still happens quite regularly. I mean you spend at minimum 8 hours a day at that place, 40 hours a week. You get close to those you work with. Learn their habits, their favorite foods, their interests which is just a breeding ground for an infestation of affection.

And why not? With so many people out their searching for their 'true love' (first, second or third true love), eliminating a potential match based on workplace guidelines seems a bit unfair. After all, 17% of married people meet a work, which is the same percentage of people who meet through mutual friends. Seems like a good idea right?

Well pump your breaks there skippy. There is a huge caveat to dating someone in your work place. And that is your getting you're getting your honey where you're making your money which can make for a sticky situation. Cause if you dick that other person over you have to see that person ev-er-ry day. If things go sour they could get really bad. That person no longer has to keep your closed door business behind closed doors. Then you'll have other men in the work place looking at you like a freak and other women rolling their eyes and sucking their teeth at you. I mean really how long can you avoid them. And imagine if you dated more than one person....yikes!

Ultimately, it's up to you and your place of business to decide what is appropriate. I personally recommend that if you do it, you have to be mature about it. Otherwise, leave it be. There are only so many hours you can spend in the bathroom and under your desk avoiding your ex (or exes). Eventually it'll start to interfere with your job and well all know that playing with your ability to get that money is just not a good look.



Share |
comments (1)

Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)
Subscribe