An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Not A Good Look

12:07 PM |

The wanna-be model...

You've seen these chicks. The appropriate model height. Crazy skinny. Squared off, man-like, jawline. Arm out cradling a purse with their noses up side-eying everyone's outfits behind their big, bug-like hater shades. Frequently rude. Inappropriately conceited (because many are just not cute). Always thinking every guy who says hello to them is sweating them. Why? Because, they're a 'model' *hair flip*. Let's break this look down, shall we?

The Body Wave Weave:
The wanna be model uniform almost ALWAYS includes a bra-strap length body wave weave. The weave looks like it is straight out of the package: never combed, never properly separated.
Typically jet black. It is always parted down the middle. Always. Often the wave of the weave starts just above the ear, leaving the top part of the hair flat to the scalp. Depending on how the girl takes care of the weave it can either be quite greasy looking or super dried out and starting to frizz.

The Mid-Drift Shirt:
Apparently the wanna-be model uniform this year includes a loose-fitting mid-drift showing shirt. The shirt can often be in the shark-bite style (shorter in the front, longer in the back) or 80's style (off the shoulder with the bra strap showing). Luckily this girl is 'naturally' skinny so you'll usually see no flab around her middle. (Doesn't mean the belly is toned by any means). And sadly, at least in my opinion, the belly button often looks a bit weird. Not all the way an inny. Not quite an outtie. Just weird looking. Sometimes, the wanna-be may forget to handle her um..happy trail. So there may be some whiskers showing.

The Skinny Jean and the Peep Toe Platforms:
To complete this look, the wanna-be will almost always be sporting a pair of low-rise, skinny jeans and peep toe platforms. Since she is a 'model' the shoes will usually be fabulous. Not necessarily appropriate for whatever it is she is doing or wherever she is going, but hot shoes none-the-less. Legs are of course ultra skinny but often bowed with the accompanying pigeon-toed stance. Often these jeans can be swapped out for a ultra small mini-skirt, but that is just for kicks. Fortunately for us non-models, the visible thong is no longer the thing to do, so we will not be seeing g-strings peeking through. Just a whole lot of crack cause apparently it's cool to go commando these days...(yea, my eyes are rolling).

This is not a good look for many reasons. Number 1: The look is played. Do something else. Number 2: Many of our gender transitioning brothers adopt this as their go-to look. In other words, you are often mistaken for a man. Number 3: The rudeness and self-centeredness that often comes with this look. You are 'trying' to become a model. In other words a wanna-be. So who are you? There is more to life than being cute. And unless you are being paid for your cuteness, you need to stop treating it like it's your occupation.


Becks said...

I LOVE mid-rif shirts. The baggier the better - to hide the fact that my tummy isn't that flat, but to show off a bit of skin when I stretch.

BUT - whew - I don't wear bra strap wavy weaves or peep toe platforms :) :) :)