An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Acting Right

12:00 PM |

Ladies across the country are constantly screaming that they want a real man. Men's responses to them: You be a real woman. Each tends to point the finger back at the other when in reality they both need to sit back and look at themselves. What are you doing to allow that man to be the man? What are you doing to make that woman feel like a woman?

Ladies, if you want a man to treat you like a woman, you need to act like a woman. Be confident, not conceited. Be powerful, not a b!t&h. Be intelligent, not stuck up. Be poised and respectful. Be loving and attentive. You don't have to be docile to be a woman, and you should not be. That's not what makes a woman. You can be strong, but if that man has the ability to take care of some of the things you need taken care of, let him. Allow him to do nice things for you. Give him the opportunity to lead if it so fits. Respect yourself. How you present yourself to that man is how he will treat you. If you want to be treated with all the respect a true woman deserves, then you must behave accordingly.

Gentlemen, if you want to be treated like a man, you must act like a man. Regardless if a woman is respectful to you or to herself you must always be respectful to her; even when you walk away. You must be confident. You must at some point be about your business and handle your business properly. You have to display some form of intelligence (stupid men destroy the world). You too, must be loving and attentive. Be trustworthy and honest. Be a man of your word. Be confident but be secure enough to acknowledge the fact that you can't always do it by yourself. You are the pillar in which many family's are built upon, so you have to be strong. If you are able to do those things, in your moments of weakness, you will most certainly have a woman there to have your back.

Fellas consider this: A woman, especially a black woman, has often had to navigate this harsh world on her own. She's had to make hard decisions and take control. She will only relinquish some of that to you if you have proven yourself worthy. I mean think about it like this: If Jo-Jo never shows up to work on time, are you going to trust him to be there to open the store every morning? Of course not. It's no different for a woman. So you have to establish yourself as someone she can count on; someone she can trust. You cannot expect her to cook, clean and be a domestic and sex goddess to you if you don't do what you need to do.

Ladies please remember: A man will only act like a man if you allow him to be that. Don't emasculate your man every chance you get. Don't constantly undermine his decisions. Treating him badly, yelling, being hateful will get you no where. Being kind but never letting him take the lead role is just as bad. If he has proven that he can handle business, let him. Be secure enough to trust him. And know that if things do fall apart, you can pick up the pieces (together or apart).
Respect yourselves. Respect each other. Put good in and you'll get good out.