An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Just One Thing

3:08 AM |

Everything but the kitchen sink...

As I was driving home from work today, I turned to the Michael Baisden Show for a brief moment, just in time to hear them discussing a letter written to them by a listener with a serious question. The writer stated in her letter that she was in love with this man. He was basically perfect in every way. He was great with the children, managed the household and finances, treated her know all that great stuff. However, the one area he was lacking was in the bedroom. She was asking wether or not to go get herself a "maintenance man".

Of course there were several comments, some comical, but it did get me to think. She is not the only one in that situation. It has been said by many women before that they don't know what to do because they have this great man but is just not satisfying their needs. So many seem torn as to what to do. I just don't really understand why.

First of all, if this is your man, your love, your everything, why can't you talk to him about your needs? Now trust, no man wants to hear that he's not satisfying you, so the conversation can be awkward. But every man wants to be king-ding-a-ling in bed, and many, given the chance, will do whatever it takes to make you see him that way.

The problem is, most women LIE. They want to pretend and get it over with. THAT is what messes up many women's sex lives. You can't blame your dude for not satisfying you when you keep telling him he's doing everything right. How is he supposed to know?

Don't think your man can't learn to please you. Remember, they were all virgins at some point, so it's not like they can't learn. Now if you've told your guy what you want, and he just refuses to do it, then you have a larger problem that just sex.


Anonymous said...


You are right about telling the truth. There is absolutely no way around it. It's gonna come out one way or another.

If you wait until you're frustrated to the point of seeking maintenance, it will be difficult to be patient enough for your lover to 'get up to speed'.

Plus, the more frustrated you are, the more difficult it will be to have a loving, supportive conversation (ESPECIALLY if you've been lying).

You deserve to be pleased but is it necessary to do it at the expense of your 'good partner'?

Miss_A said...

@Anonymous - You are so right about the frustration thing. The wait just makes the situation even more difficult to deal with. Why be intimate with someone you don't feel you can be honest with? There are plenty of tactful ways to bring up the subject after or before and there are even more ways to provide suggestions during. The exploration of what pleases the both of you is what should be the fun part.

D-Redd said...

WOW! Did you imply sex and fun in the same sentence?

I think we make it so heavy with our egos and 'feelings', the fun that should be part of the exploration/experience gets lost.

Let's not even get started on 'the rules'! Women have rules...

...that could stifle the whole experience before it has a chance to unfold...