An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Saturday, March 20, 2010

More Than Friends

8:40 PM |

Where would that end.....

The other day in another random conversation, the topic some how came up about friends having 'more than friends' feelings for each other. For example, situations similar to the movie Brown Sugar (I reference it because I just flipped past it and it made me think about this again). In case you are unfamiliar, the brief synopsis is: Friends for forever, know that they both have an attraction/love for one another, but it took them long trials, time apart, drama to get together finally. Sorry for the spoiler.


I have been told before that many times the decision is made not to act on those feelings towards the friend because they did not want to jeopardize the friendship. Knowing that many times relationships can go bad, most friends choose to just stay friends and enjoy what they have rather than to risk the possibility of losing that persons existence in their life all together.

The other side that was recently expressed hinged on the fact that by not exploring the possibility, you are potentially missing out on someone who could be a true love. If the two of you are truly friends, you should not even have a desire to screw that person over so much that the friendship completely disintegrates. True it may change the dynamics a bit, but overall the friendship should be able to survive the exploration. Strangers can remain friends after the end of a relationship, why couldn't life long friends?

There are always risks involved in every decision made. Just because you are friends, doesn't mean that you'd be good lovers. It also doesn't mean that things will turn out badly just because you decided to go to the next level. I guess it boils down to how much and what you are willing to risk for a shot of love? How mature are the two parties involved? How are they typically in relationships? Why not take a shot and see what happens? It's not like you don't know the person. The best love is supposed to be built around friendship anyway. Why not just jump?


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D-Redd said...

I really like this topic!

It is so annoying in the movies. You just be like, 'stop playin and get together!'. But I understand the risks as well in real life.

I think both friends go through the pros and cons in their minds to different extents at different times. I think the issue is that when one is in 'pro- mode', the other is in 'con'.

It probably takes something extreme like one almost dying or being separated for long periods/distances for the friends to be in the same emotional space at the same time.

The prospect of losing a life-long friend is terrifying.

I might be more willing to take the leap of faith with a friend I have not had as long.