An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Self Preservation

10:37 PM |

I'm not jumping without a parachute...

Today I was having a discussion about yet another acquaintance who was tricked into having to move in with a woman because his other woman kicked him out. Without going into the idiocy of the entire situation, the long and short of it was he had to move in with her because he had "no other option". I say yet another acquaintance because this is something I'm seeing happen with surprisingly a lot of my male friends. They get into these "relationships" and when things go south they have no other choice but to jump into the next "relationship" with the woman that inevitably was part of the cause of the demise of the first one. In the end everyone ends up miserable.

I don't understand this whole "I have no choice thing". As a woman when you went on dates you were always told keep enough money on you to pay for your meal, a phone call and possibly transportation back home in the event that things went sour. That idea has always been ingrained in my being so that no matter what, I will always have an option. This way I'm never in a no choice situation. If I were to be living with a man and found myself having to get out in a hurry I know I had friends somewhere that would let me grab a couch somewhere. I'd get payday advance on my paycheck to try and get another place. I'd have some options.

As a man I don't understand not being able to stand on your own two feet. Not having a homeboy, a co-worker, a good friend somewhere that will allow you to crash with them until you get it together. A thought process or a way to support yourself if times get rough. You can't plan for everything, but that's one thing you should always be prepared for. We'd love to think love lasts forever and people won't turn on you, but we've seen even the longest relationships go up in flames. I'm just saying as a man, why wouldn't you want the pride of being able to not only take care of yourself but your woman. And I have a hard time believing that if you can't find a way to support yourself after getting kicked out that you were actually able to take care of your woman. But I digress.

If someone said "jump out of a plane with no parachute, but don't worry I'll be on the ground to catch you" would you jump? I didn't think so....