An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Too Much To Ask

12:00 PM |

Women and their requirements....

Why is it that when women list the traits they want in a man the first thing people say is "oh you're asking for too much"? Turn on any talk show, any radio show, open any dating/relationship book and one of the main things you'll see them recommend to women is to 'adjust' their requirements. I will admit that many women have a laundry list of things they want in a man (many of them they do not even possess themselves). It would be different if those were the only expectations we were talking about. But they are not, and I don't understand why everyone feels the need to tell women what they are asking for is unreasonable.

As a woman, I am expected to be a wife, a mother, a god-fearing woman, a freak, strong yet compassionate, a good cook, a good maid, often a doctor, a caretaker, physically fit but curvy, intelligent but not a know-it-all, a tailor, a butcher, a baker, a candlestick maker..... BUT! If I have a series of requirements for my mate, I'm asking too much?

The minute one of us begins to put requirements on what we want in a man we are just being unreasonable, unrealistic, and irrational. Why? Are you as a man not as diverse in your talent as us women are? Are you not able to live up to higher expectations? Why must I lower my standards to prevent a lifetime of loneliness?

From the beginning women are brought up knowing they will have a lot of responsibilities. We know we have many roles we need to fill, and many tasks we need to master in order to be that 'perfect' wife and mother. We know that in order to compete in this male driven world, we have to be 10 times better than our counterparts in order to be successful. We are brought up knowing that we have to 'bring it' in order to make it.

The same goes for you guys. Especially if you are a minority male. You know all the things you've had to make yourself become in order to be successful. Sadly, many of you were not fortunate enough to be groomed by a man on what it takes to be a wonderful husband or father. But honestly, many of us ladies don't hold that against you. Many of you have grown to become wonderful and successful men and fathers without that.

Instead of attacking the requirements, why not just step up to the plate. Be the best you, you can be. Man up! Cause all the whining and complaining you do about my requirements only lets me know that you are so not on my level.