An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

What's a Shy Girl To Do?

2:10 PM |

Would a guy approach a shy girl?

A while back, a friend and I were having a discussion about shyness and the question came up: Would a guy approach a shy girl? Not being a guy, I can't truly answer this question. But it did make me think a bit.

What is being shy? What does that really mean. I think when many people think of a shy person, somewhere in the conversation comes along the idea of a lack of confidence. That person is insecure about something that causes them to be a bit more reserved and with-holding.

However, I think it would be wrong to assume that every shy woman is suffering from some insecurity. Many times, people (not just women) can be reserved just because they are a bit wary of strange environments and unknown people. Does not mean they are not confident or secure. In order to open that person up, you would have to make the environment more welcoming and safe. And who knows what would happen then.

In general, approaching a shy girl is work. Whether or not a man is willing to put in that effort is unknown. I think it depends on the guy. But don't write off the shy girl in the corner.


jason said...

people draw a lot of conclusions about the shy girl, or guy, in the corner. they assume they're either insecure or arrogant. the fact is we are all built differently. some of the most talkative and outgoing people i know are also the most insecure; they need constant attention and approval from others. others of us are more internally oriented; we draw energy and motivation internally, we deal with things internally. too many people view this as a bad thing. I don't. it's just different. besides, there are way too many people talking just to hear their own voice and not enough people listening. anyway, i was thinking about this the other day and the words that came to mind are: always remember, they are more afraid of you than you are of them. that may not always be true, but as people, we all have fear. fear has a natural purpose and should be heeded, but we should never let it control us.
sorry, just ranting. :)

Anonymous said...

Wow Im late commenting on this but I can so relate to this your are on point. Being shy can cause people to draw conclusions about who you are that aren't necessarily true. And yeh I do notice that more guys approach the socialites. But just because a person isnt shy doesnt mean they dont have insecurities also. Some people are just better actors than others lol

D-Redd said...

This is one that is close to my heart as well being a reformed (and sometimes 'relapsed') shy person.

I have worked through many levels of shyness and have come to understand that it just takes me a bit longer to survey the land before I jump into interactions.

Work responsibilites and situations have forced me out of my shell in most cases. And most recently, working with my new students helped to realize that most creative people are shy. We just have a different level of sensitivity.

Sensitivity could be perceived as weakness but could be a stength if allows it to be.

Chances are if you stop to talk to the shy person in the corner, you will be surprised at the person who emerges.

Miss_A said...

@Jason - you are right. I think people often forget the ones that are the loudest are often the most insecure. When I look back on people I've known in the past, the ones that were often the most shy are the ones doing big things now.

@Shy Purple Sky - "some people are just better actors than other" - such truth!

@D-Redd- I too am a recovering shy girl. It's hard and when I'm in unfamiliar situations I find those old feelings coming back. It's work.

In the end, it's said that the meek will inherit the earth. Don't you want to be a part and share in the inheritance?

D-Redd said...


I like your perspective and yes, I do wants my inheritance!

Tim at SHYFAQ said...

I agree that saying that a shy person is insecure about something is an oversimplification. Shy people often just have trouble thinking of things to say. It's often just that simple!

Unfortunately, a shy persons quietness is all too often mistaken for unfriendliness, so I think that, yes, for that reason guys are less likely to approach a shy girls.