An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Shut Up and Sit Down

9:45 AM |

Putting up with ish...

So I get this text the other day from my friend that asked: "Is this wrong? Black women, please start putting up with more of your Black man's shit & giving him less attitude because we are losing them at record #s". me just prepare myself......ok......

I'm sure there's not a Black woman in America who hasn't read the letter that supposedly a white woman sent in to a major black magazine that stated that she was married to a black man and he told her that black women have too much attitude and this and that to be with. She rattled off some of her advice she felt it Black women needed to know and needless to say it caused a huge uproar. Sadly this is such an old ass argument so let me just speak my peace.

First of all I'm tired of this whole "Black women have too much attitude" bullshit. It's a cop out. Typically the men who continue to say this are those sorry ass mother fuckers who don't do shit, never done shit, don't plan on doing shit and want someone to continue to allow them to keep on not doing shit. In other words, not men at all. So what I'm supposed to bear all of the responsibilities of maintaining a functioning household, raise your kids, get money and continue to let your sorry ass lay up under me? Not in this lifetime.

It's all a mind game. A way for guys to convince women that we are wrong for expecting things from a man. That plays on our fears of being alone, on our thoughts that white girls are stealing our men, on all of our insecurities. Damn all of that. Has it ever been a thought that if men were doing what they were supposed to be doing then Black women wouldn't be so damn irritated all the time??

If women were never abandoned, never fucked over, never hurt, do you honestly believe that we'd have as much attitude? Is that an excuse? No. Because if I'm being honest there are some women out there that put their men through the ringer. But truthfully, if you were doing and being all that you were supposed to be in a relationship, there would be no need for either of you to have to be putting up with the other's shit.

Here's the truth. Women have no problem taking care of their man if they truly feel like they are being taking care of by him. I usually don't like to make sweeping generalizations, but this one I am making. Black women can be some of the most nurturing, supportive, pleasing women on the planet. That's why the slave masters had us taking care of all those kids and running households. It's what we do. But what we won't do is be stupid. So go on with the girl with low standards if you want to. That's fine. But be honest. It's not the attitude. It's not the mouth. You're just a sorry bitch, putting up with sorry shit, and I'm not sorry for you.