An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Definition of a Friend

She was a friend of mine...

What is a friend?  I'm seriously asking.  What is your definition of a friend?  I would really like to know what it takes to be considered a friend these days because there are so many of you out there that have all these issues regarding your 'friendships' that baffle me.

Maybe it would help to first tell you where this thought came from.  I was riding to work listening to the Steve Harvey Morning show and their Strawberry Letter segment.  The letter was in short about a woman who unknowingly got with a man whom she later found out was her friend's man of 12 years and was unsure of how or if she should tell her.  While I'll address that whole situation in another post, what stood out to me was this: How do you have a friend who has a man of 12 YEARS and you've never met, or even seen a photo of him?

People let me tell you, I have friends everywhere.  We don't talk on a regular basis, but you know what, if they have a man I can tell you I've seen him.  Wether it was a photo on her phone, Facebook or even if we've randomly met in person, I know who their men are.  I may not remember their names off hand but I bet if anyone was to repeat their names I'd recognize it.  Why? Because that's part of the things friends share with one another.

I think the word 'friendship' has lost its face value like the words 'I love you' and 'trust me' and 'truth'.  Some people in your life are 'associates'.  Some are 'acquaintances'.  Very few are 'friends'.  And for good reason.  Being a friend carries a lot more responsibility.  I think it's time for people to start understanding which people in their lives are which.

Now I'm not going to hand out a canned definition on what I think a friend should and should not be.  Each person requires something different. And understand this about friendships.  The bond isn't always everlasting. Part of what makes people friends are shared experiences, thoughts, opinions, interests, etc.  Those things change over time.  Just because you've know someone a long time, and you used to be friends, doesn't mean that they are truly your friend now, through no fault of either of you. I think you have to look at what you value in a friend, the type of friend you are to people, what you expect out of your friends and decide if the people in your life you consider friends fit those criteria. If not, it may be time to place them in another category.

OR it maybe time to let that person go. Period.


Anonymous said...

My high school mentor was a retired Marine Corps Master Sargent. He used to say he had TWO friends. I would be shocked that he was so delighted to have only two. Then, I grew up and realized how blessed he was. Kay Bee