An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Just A Friend

10:23 AM |

Hommie, Lover, Friend?

There's always this constant argument about wether or not men and women can just be friends. To the nay-sayers, if men and women can't be friends, then how do you end up in the friend zone? Well, this is not a discussion about the intricacies about the platonic friends debate.

Sad to say, this thought comes from a combination of a conversation my friends and I had about the movie Just Wright, starting Queen Latifah and Common and viewing the show The Ultimate Catch. You know that lovely VH1 produced dating show for Chad Johnson (Ocho-Cinco). I watched as Chad had a very down to earth, honest conversation with one of the girls on the date. They had a lot in common, shared similar views and interests. In general she appeared to not only be attractive, but a very down chic. He remarked about how much they were vibing, much to the dismay of her competitor, and the hating chic remarked "like a hommie", like the snarky bitch she is. (Haha...that's why you got sent home. Hatin' ass...).

A friend of mine made a comment (to kinda paraphrase): When a guy finds out that he shares similar interest, has fun with a girl, shares an overall bond with her and she's not what society (or he) thinks of a being typically attractive, he doesn't know how to process what he feels. So he automatically assumes that what he's feeling is friendship, when in fact it's probably more than that. In the case of the movie Just Wright, Common's character knew there was an attraction there with Queen Latifah's character, however he dismissed it because, while she's cute, she wasn't his typical "type".

Regardless of the "type", I don't really understand what's so bad about sharing similarities and being the hommie. Is that not the foundation for a lasting relationship? Have we not been told to marry our best friends? I mean you're supposed to find someone that you can spend the rest of your life with. What would be so bad about being with someone who understands you can can relate? Someone you can be comfortable and honest with? Someone who can stimulate you mentally and physically. If you meet a genuinely attractive girl and she can throw a football, bake cookies, and step hard in a pair of 4 inch stillettos, what's the problem?

Sounds like a perfect match to me. Either way I'm tired of the idea of being a down to earth, down-ass-chic being perceived as something unappealing and unattractive. Good to kick it with but too good to be your girl. You yahoos can go on chasing after those uppity, high maintenance, the "oh my gahd, car go fast, thinking makes me sweat", simple bitches all you want. You'll soon realize she has a tighter bond with the reflection in the mirror and her prada bag than she does with you. Just don't let the movies fool you. You're hommie may not be ready and willing to drop her life now that you're finally ready to make her a real part of yours.