An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Tuesday, May 18, 2010


12:15 PM |

This is not a good scent on you...

It's always been said that desperation is not a good look. It does so many negative things to you and your public persona. And while it has become fairly easy to spot in women, many men exude the air of desperation and have no idea they are doing do. So let's see....fellas, what are you doing that make you appear desperate? When are you doing just a little too much?

Overly excited:
I like for a guy to be happy to see me, but there is a limit. You start bouncing around like a Jack Russell terrier and I'm going to just have to laugh at you. Tell me I look good tonight, that's great. Continue to harp on my outfit, my looks all night, every 5 minutes, will start to make me A) question your sincerity and B) begin to make me feel strange and awkward.

You meet a guy in the club. You exchange numbers and he says he'll call you. If before you even get to your car at the end of the night you have 3 missed calls and a voicemail from him, just go on and delete/block the number. Girls like to be pursued. We like attention. We like to feel like you're into us. But fellas, please understand, constantly calling is not cute. You have to give us time to call you back. You don't know what we are doing. And to automatically assume we are avoiding your calls says a lot more about you than you think. Now once you get us on the phone, please be easy. Find the balance from seeming interested and being crazy stalker-ish.

I must admit, sometimes a little "please, baby baby, please, baby baby, please" can be a good thing (you know the context). But in general, grown man, please don't do this. It just makes you look pitiful. If a girl says she doesn't feel like hanging out, going out, coming over, having people over, then just let it go. Spending countless minutes asking over and over and having her repeat her explanations why she's not in the mood for company will make you a victim of some really harsh and hurtful words, and a mini frustration explosion. It doesn't make you look like you're really into her. It makes you look needy, a bit immature, somewhat selfish and slightly demanding. It's not cute.

Like with all things between men and women, there's a line. You have to know how to walk that line between interested and crazy. In general, just play it cool. Being too desperate for attention, to hook up, to talk makes you look seriously insecure. And no girl wants an insecure man.


Nakia Stewart said...

Hello Ggirl,it's Nakia. I just get a kick out of your blogs and they hit home. When I was looking for a companion about 3 and a half years ago, I would always sit back and wonder why guys are like they are and I never got a clear answer.I wish I had known your abut your blog then but deep down inside, I know that I have my "mr right" and I ain't about to let him go.