An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

What Chili Wants

Answer: Everything....

I've been asked by a few people if I've seen the show What Chili Wants on VH1. I've thought about this for a minute and let me first say I LOVE Chili, TLC, always been a big fan. (Chili is actually one of my inspirations to stay on my fitness routine.) Anyway, the way she's portrayed on the show, makes it appear as if she wants everything. Her list includes:

1. He can't drink
2. He can't smoke
3. He can't eat pork
4. He can't have more than 2 baby mamas
5. He must be fine with at least a 4 pack
6. He must have a really huge ****

Sounds like the perfect man, right? I think what gets Chili into the discussion of unrealistic expectations is the fact that the items on her list appear to be superficial. Notice it doesn't say anything about his beliefs, personality, etc. Not to say she doesn't have any of those requirements on her list, but this is what's being put out there as what she wants. Not only that, she's also very quick to dismiss several seemingly attractive and successful men who are lacking in just one of those areas. Quick as in, within the first 2 minutes of a date. Can we talk about pressure of first impressions!! (Some men are so clueless about those things).

Some people think that she needs to re-evaluate her expectations and requirements. I thought so too after watching her take her machete to all of the guys on her dates. But after thinking about it, why can't she want everything?

Women are always told to settle, to compromise, to make exceptions. Why? We, as women, are groomed to be the perfect woman for any man. Why then, is it inappropriate for us to request the perfect man? Chili is a beautiful, successful, talented woman, mother with goals, aspiration, and drive. Why should she settle for someone who isn't bringing something equal or more than what she's bringing to the table?

Remember Regine from the show Living Single? People always laughed at her for wanting to be with a man with money. She tried dating all types of men, but she held out, kept her standards high and when she left she show she got her millionaire. In the real world would that happen? Probably not, but I think the message there is important. We don't have to settle.

It's ok to have high standards. Just be sure you're walking the walk as well.


Nakia Stewart said...

Oh you know I have to leave a comment on this one!! Chilli is a beautiful woman and she's an awesom mother, BUT her list is too high maintenance I think. Yes, it is good to have specific requirements in a man and you don't have to settle, but she acts like she's going to get the perfect man. There's no such thing.