An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Making Friends

11:09 AM |

Where's the playground for adults??

I always joke about how I need new friends. It's not that I hate the friends that I have. They have all just moved into different phases in their lives and we no longer share as many of the same priorities and interests anymore. The joke has turned into more of a real question. When you are grown, how do you make new friends?

When we were younger there were plenty of opportunities. Parents set up play dates. School. Camps. Sports. But as we get older, we don't have that available resource anymore. Many of my friends have started connecting with people at their jobs. They work in positions where they are around people of similar age, at a similar place in life, who share their interests. Me, I teach. My fellow teachers are in all different phases. The people I talk with the most are my cool work people. I may invite them and their significant others out when I have a formal birthday dinner or housewarming. But I can't imagine just hanging all the time. They're "married". One has kids. The other is my boss. The rest are just associates. So for me the work place isn't a place really to make that type of friend.

Others say church. Well. I don't go to church. And even when I did, the friends I made there were church friends. Not necessarily the type you want to call up and say "Hey let's get some martinis after work on Friday!"

So where do you go? I guess at some point friends fill specific roles in your life. They are your martini bar friend. Your football game friends. Your lunch during work friends. Your married couple double date friends. Your play date with the kids friends. But as you get older, do you lose the friends that you feel you can share every aspect of your life with? The ones you confide in? The ones you go to for advice? I guess if you all are progressing through life together at the same speed then no you don't. But what if you are the one who gets left behind?

I'm not really sure. But luckily for me I've still got 4 people I really feel like if things really fell apart I could talk to. If they go then I'm in this thing alone. Funny, I used to say I don't need anymore friends.....