An honest dialogue about love, life, and everything in-between...

Sunday, September 25, 2005

ODE TO LATE NIGHT TV

12:01 AM |

If you give me just 7 days
I can rid your
Body
House
Car
Life
Job
of all the excess
Fat
Habits
Dust
Dirt
Pollen
Cat Dander
Dents
Dings
Scratches
Debts
and if you act now for only 19.95 plus shipping and handling
you too will be able to make
Pancakes in your portable hot tub connected to the lighter in the dash of your car while running a
Handless!
Cordless!
Vacuum that is so silent you can hear a pin drop on the other end of your
Hands free
Internet ready
Two-way
Picture taking
Headset that works well with any cellular phone!
And at no extra cost to you we will throw in a guide to
Changing your life forever by increasing your energy along with your libido to develop important skills to get you that dream job that you've always wanted that comes from a 2 year degree from the national institute where a simple drawing test can qualify you do to the work of 12 graduate degree educated individuals from real institutes of higher learning.
Late night quick fixes
to all of life's most pressing issues
Because the most important thing in my life is how to obtain washboard abs while simultaneously cooking a 5 course meal in one
Non-toxic
Non-stick
Tefflon coated frying pan that is also a
Double stack
Veggie steaming
Fondue pot!
'Cause we can't live without the countless compilations of music jam packed on 2 cds or 2 cassettes, foundation that covers up countless signs of ageing, imperfections and just plain ugliness, lipsticks that makes your lips appear bigger, insta-facelift eye cream, toupees you can swim in, bras that stick to you and give you instant cleavage.
Everything you need a more
All at the late night insomniac store.



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